The Sanderson Gazette - 2010-09-08 - It's Here!

There's a football in the air

Across a leaf-blown field

There's your first car on the road

And the girl you'd steal

  • Better Than Ezra, "This Time of Year"

Week One Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Harrison Hammers (Matt) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek)

It's just like the NFL. Our reigning champion and current possessor of Good Ol' Sandy (I bet Matt never gets tired of saying that) against one of last year's semifinalists.

Unlike the Saints, however, Matt is the underdog. His young squad (seriously, he loves his rookies) will take on D's team of crafty veterans (and Broncos special teams).

As of printing time, Yahoo! (we must never forget that exclamation point) projects Matt's starting lineup for 86.22 points, considerably behind Derrek's strong 97.81. But let's throw that out the window, and dig into the matchup.

At QB, Matt's starting Aaron Rodgers (@PHI) against D's Drew Brees (vs MIN). I think Yahoo! is on the right side, here; Derrek has the advantage.

At WR, Yahoo! sees it a bit more evenly, but I disagree. Matt's stable of Calvin Johnson (@CHI), Steve Smith (NYG) (vs CAR), and Johnny Knox (vs DET) appears to have the edge over Chad Ochocinco (@NE), Donald Driver (@PHI), and Braylon Edwards (vs BAL). While Ochocinco could have his way with the Patriot secondary, I can't see Driver and Edwards doing much against two good defenses.

The RB matchup features one boring-yet-productive player for D (Ryan Grant (@PHI)), and then three big high-risk-high-reward players. Matt's starting his rookie ground crew of Ryan Mathews (@KC) and Jahvid Best (@CHI) against the aforementioned Grant and Rashard Mendenhall (vs ATL). Seems fairly even, all things considered.

TE is a wash (Cooley (@DAL) vs Winslow (vs CLE), and Derrek's all-Denver special-team-special has a better matchup (@JAC) than Matt's kicker and defense, Mason Crosby (@PHI) and Pittsburgh (vs ATL).

My verdict? Too many Packers involved. And a win for D's AutoPicks.

Other Blingamatches

Leavitt Langoliers (Ed) vs Champaign Supernovas (Kevin)

Ed's a close favorite in this rematch of last year's fifth-place game. Chris Johnson has that effect on things. Especially against the Raiders. Pick: Leavitt Langoliers.

Pralines & Dick (Rabs) vs Location Nouns (Rob)

The two sassiest Blingaleague members (non-Pulley division) face off. Peyton Manning is expected to do great things against the Texans, which should probably be enough for Rabbit to defeat Joe Flacco's (@NYJ) biggest fan. Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Cincinnati Bungles (Pat) vs Cuban Fumin' Humans (Babel)

This match could be decided Thursday night, as Babel has four Vikings starting (@NO): Adrian Peterson, Percy Harvin, Visanthe Shiancoe, and Ryan Longwell. If the Vikings lay an egg, the door is wide open for Mr. Gawne's team. While I don't think the Vikings will be shut down, Pat's team has a bunch of nice matchups; Jay Cutler (vs DET) and Larry Fitzgerald (@STL) should carry the day. Pick: Cincinnati Bungles.

Pullman's MondSquad (Pulley) vs Our Lil' Abondigas (Dave)

You need to earn the right to be previewed. Pick: None. (OK, I'll grudgingly pick Dave.)

Jackie Moon's Bounce (Mike) vs Optimus Prime (Allen)

It has come to my attention that Allen is in TWO fantasy football leagues this year. Combine that with his competent drafting, and there's a lot of hope radiating out of the Ukranian Village (and Erin's heart, but no one wants to hear that) this year. Pick: Allen, with marginal confidence.

Weekly Awards

Nothing happened this week. That won't stop me from giving out awards.

Team Blangums: Pralines & Dick. Benjamin is nobody's friend.

Slapped Heartbeat: Optimus Prime. Blow me off for dinner, eh? I hope this hurts, Allen.

Start of the Week: Pulley, for making the most sensible free agent pickup, Kareem Huggins.

Misplay of the Week: Dave, why did you waste a waiver claim on Brandon Jackson?

Closing Thoughts

Dave closed on his new home this very day! Let's all congratulate him, as it was a long and arduous process. (Moral of the story: never go for a short sale.)

Also, I apologize for not recognizing the wedding of Derrek and Molly Drenckpohl. It was a blast, and we all wish you the best - congratulations again!

The autum wind is a Raider,

-Eddo