The Sanderson Gazette - 2010-10-28 - Bring your green hat
"Being drunk on a Thursday is impressive?" - E$
Week Seven Recap
Mike def. Matt, 94.54-93.55:
The current NIU student defeats the former NIU student (alumnus?), thanks to the Giants' dominance on Monday night. Despite posting the "weakest smack talk ever", Mike rides three New York players (Bradhaw, Nicks, Tynes) and their 12+ points to defeat Matt. The Hammers can take solace in the fact that they're the best 2-5 team in Blingaleague history.
Rabbit def. Pat, 111.85-63.85:
Rabbit says, "Next!" What happened to Pat's team? Only LeSean McCoy (12.00 points) and, surprisingly, the Bears' defense (18.00) score in double digits for Mr. Gawne, leading to an easy win for Pralines & Dick. (Pat has now lost six games in a row, a Blingaleague record.)
Kevin def. Dave, 120.79-99.27:
Tough loss for Dave, and, despite Kevin's efforts, Kenny Britt will not draw the "Misplay of the Week" award (stayed tuned, I know you all can feel the excitement!).
Pulley def. Rob, 111.10-90.81:
Hatred delivered. Dwayne Bowe, fantasy stud? (Pulley's five straight wins might also be a Blingarecord, but I'm not 100% sure.)
Ed def. Allen, 111.18-50.58:
Yes, I benefit from a second-straight bye week bonanza. And no, I wouldn't have lost either game had my opponent been diligent.
Babel def. Derrek, 107.09-104.37:
A huge win for Babel, who keeps his Blingabowl hopes alive. Derrek drops into a tie for second place, despite Steve Johnson's (has there ever been a more anonymous fantasy football starter before?) best efforts (he scored 27.07 points).
Current Standings
Ed, 6-1, 764.87
Rabbit, 5-2, 785.38
Derrek, 5-2, 697.12
Pulley, 5-2, 662.72
Dave, 4-3, 796.03
Mike, 4-3, 662.92
Babel, 3-4, 690.85
Allen, 3-4, 530.87
Matt, 2-5, 703.81
Kevin, 2-5, 605.51
Rob, 2-5, 564.53
Pat, 1-6, 559.73
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Two weeks ago, the Champaign Supernovas were winless; now, Kevin possess the Team Blangums award. Blingalife is random, no?
Slapped Heartbeat: Allen, you have to check your lineup EVERY week!
Start of the Week: Kevin deserves this for playing Thomas Jones (18.50 points) over Ronnie Brown (4.07). (OK, this was a week weak.)
Misplay of the Week: Derrek lost by 2.72 points. Darren McFadden scored 44.63 on his bench.
Week Nine Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-2, 4th) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 5-2, 3rd):
Can D stop Pulley's winning streak? Which 5-2 team will move into (at least) a solid third place?
I might hate myself tomorrow for saying this, but we all should give Pulley some credit: his team was shit last year; he had a rocky draft; he started 0-2. But here we are, ready to deal with a feisty MondoSquad come playoff time.
And yet here sits D, who must be eager to end Pulley's run. Derrek has bonafides, oh yes - he placed last year, and his team is one close loss from being tied for first.
These games get harder to pick by the week. For now, I'll say: D's AutoPicks.
Other Blingamatches
Leavitt Langoliers (Ed, 6-1, 1st) vs. Our Lil' Albondigas (Dave, 4-3, 5th):
Dave can taste the playoffs. As the only Blingaleague member to never play past week thirteen, he has to be hungry right now. Unluckily, he faces the current first-place Langoliers. Luckily, his "big week of byes" coincides with his opponent's. Pick: Our Lil' Albondigas.
Champaign Supernovas (Kevin, 2-5, 10th) vs. Cuban Fumin' Humans (Babel, 3-4, 7th):
Kevin's hot. Yahoo! predicts he'll win. But I can't pick against Babel's team, which has finally parlayed a high score into a win, can I? Pick: Cuban Fumin' Humans.
Not You Fat Jesus (Pat, 1-6, 12th) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 2-5, 11th):
Rob should easily win the battle of the TX '10s - Pat's Eagle-filled team is crippled by the bye week. Pick: Location Nouns.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 5-2, 2nd) vs. The Grossmans (Mike, 4-3, 6th):
Why Mike felt that re-naming his team after Washington's backup QB would help him surge towards the playoffs, I have no idea. Pick: Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, you have a strong roster).
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-5, 9th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-4, 8th):
Allen's season has been doomed by the Panthers' struggles and Tony Romo's fragile collarbone. Matt deserves this break. Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Closing Thoughts
Props to Matt (and Andrea) for throwing a fun "Nerd Party".
Additionally, I'm telling all of you now that I will be hosting a Christmas party on Friday, December 17,
...and I'm drunk again this week,
Eddo