The Sanderson Gazette - 2010-11-10 - Butthome
"I hate you Yahoo! for your next-day point changes" - Pulley
"I hate stat corrections" - Kevin
They played each other.
Trade Announcement
Pulley has traded LeGarrette Blount (RB, Buccaneers) to Rob for Jason Witten (TE, Cowboys).
The trade deadline is November 26.
Week Nine Recap
Pat def. Matt, 90.77-90.61:
Matt went into the Monday night game needing the Steeler DEF, arguably his most valuable player this year, to score 9.17 points. For two and half quarters, it looked like he'd get what he desired. Then, Pat's quasi-hometown Bengals pulled through, bumping the Pittsburgh fantasy point total down to 9.00. The final outcome? The second-closest margin of victory in Blingaleague history (0.16 points), and a much-needed second win for Not You Fat Jesus.
Pulley def. Kevin, 99.34-97.91:
Not to be outdone, this matchup featured heartbreak on both ends. Pulley went to sleep Sunday night dreaming of his victory. Come Monday morning, Yahoo! had bumped Kevin back into the lead, generating a tirade from the MondoSquad manager. But, in a cruel twist for Kevin, Yahoo! corrected itself yet again, pushing Pulley's team back to victory. This is the second time this year stat corrections have doomed Kevin, and the fourth time he's lost by less than three points.
Derrek def. Dave, 109.77-100.78:
Of course, the above two losers have nothing on Mr. Fultz. His point total was the third-highest this week, but he had to take the loss. Even worse, he has the second-most points on the season, but sits a game under .500. Derrek moves into fourth place all by his lonesome, two games ahead of the seventh-place team.
Babel def. Ed, 98.53-60.16:
This game looked like a dual performance of suck until roughly 3:00 pm, when Babel's team caught fire. Ed's was not so lucky. As Babel noted, you can throw all records out the window when the Timberwolves hat is on the line. With the win, Babel moves all alone into fifth place, continuing his dramatic turnaround.
Rabbit def. Allen, 146.00-82.81:
Allen learns the futility of playing Rabbit, despite actually subbing out Tony Romo this week. Let's give him credit; his two free agent pickups (Matt Cassel and David Akers) both broke the 15-point barrier. Rabbit, meanwhile, had two guys (Terrell Owens and Arian Foster) break the 30-point mark.
Rob def. Mike, 95.16-83.07:
A fairly uneventful game between the Pullman's two most recent trading partners. Rob gets a big game from Peyton Hillis (33.20 points) to earn the victory. Mike was doomed by his lack of production from non-Giants players.
Current Standings
Rabbit, 7-2, 1074.51
Ed, 7-2, 911.21
Pulley, 7-2, 849.20
Derrek, 6-3, 870.34
Babel, 5-4, 875.99
Dave, 4-5, 977.56
Mike, 4-5, 810.24
Rob, 4-5, 787.87
Matt, 3-6, 878.96
Allen, 3-6, 661.62
Kevin, 2-7, 787.52
Pat, 2-7, 696.63
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Rabbit's team is exceedingly Blingums. Pralines & Dick's 146.00 points bring home its fourth Team Blangums award this season.
Slapped Heartbeat: Yours truly and his Leavitt Langoliers put forth a pitiful 60.16 points. What a mepsi.
Start of the Week: Pat took a chance, playing Patrick Crayton (9.33 points) over Steve Smith, Carolina version (1.20). He was rewarded with a very narrow victory.
Misplay of the Week: Kevin can only kick himself for playing Thomas Jones (3.20 points) over Ronnie Brown (17.23).
Playoff Scenarios
Believe it or not, three different teams can clinch playoff spots this week.
Rabbit clinches a playoff berth with:
a win and a Mike loss or tie;
OR
a tie and a Mike loss and the Rob/Dave game not ending in a tie.
Ed clinches a playoff berth with:
a win.
Pulley clinches a playoff berth with:
a win and a Mike loss or tie;
OR
a tie and a Mike loss and the Rob/Dave game not ending in a tie.
No one can be eliminated from playoff contention this week.
Week Ten Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 7-2, 1st) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 7-2, 3rd):
Make no mistake, this is a premier matchup. The two Dunlap High School alumni find themselves tied for first after nine weeks. For Rabbit, it's not a surprise; after all, he finished in second place last year, drafted like an all-star, and has already taken home four Team Blangums awards.
Pulley? Quite a different story. He finished dead last in 2009, hated his draft, and lost his first two games. Then, something clicked. He's riding a seven-game winning streak coming into this week, and hopes to make it eight.
At QB, the Manning brothers look to mostly cancel each other out. However, Rabbit seems to have distinct advantages at both RB (Foster and Jones-Drew vs. Tomlinson and new Panther starter Mike Goodson) and WR (Wallace, Owens, and Lloyd vs. Bowe, the enigma that is Randy Moss, and Derrick Mason).
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Other Blingamatches
Location Nouns (Rob, 4-5, 8th) vs. Our Lil' Albondigas (Dave, 4-5, 6th):
Dave is second overall in points, yet he has the same record as Rob. And is anyone convinced the latter's team isn't still a laughingstock? Granted, the return of Ben Roethlisberger and the resurgence of Mike Sims-Walker have pushed Rob far away from the cellar, but Dave's team is clearly better on the whole. Having to start Mark Sanchez, thanks to Philip Rivers's bye week, concerns me, but I like Dave to end his losing streak. Pick: Our Lil' Albondigas.
Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-6, 10th) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 6-3, 4th):
Derrek has to feel comfortable about his playoff chances, and this week he gets to prove his mettle against archrival Allen. I decidedly do not like Allen to end his five-game losing streak, however. Pick: D's AutoPicks.
Leavitt Langoliers (Ed, 7-2, 2nd) vs. The Grossmans (Mike, 4-5, 7th):
Despite getting debacled in week nine, Ed can clinch a playoff spot by simply winning this game. In fact, a win by Ed would also result in the winner of the Pulley/Rabbit matchup clinching a berth. The Grossmans, however, are frisky, and feature a brand new tight end (Vernon Davis), courtesy of Mr. Pulley. On the surface, it looks like this could be a very close match. Pick: Leavitt Langoliers.
Champaign Supernovas (Kevin, 2-7, 11th) vs. Not You Fat Jesus (Pat, 2-7, 12th):
The winner of this game leaves the loser alone in Blingalastplace. A bad week for Kevin's QB (Tom Brady) to play the Steelers. Pick: Not You Fat Jesus.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-6, 9th) vs. Cuban Fumin' Humans (Babel, 5-4, 5th):
Babel's team has been firing on all cylinders lately. Matt's, not so much. Making matters worse for the defending champ: Aaron Rodgers is on his bye week. That's probably enough for Babel to pull off a win. Pick: Cuban Fumin' Humans.
Closing Thoughts
Big props to everyone this week. Week nine was possibly the most competitive in Blingaleague history, with only one sub-80-point scoring team and four games decided by less than 13 points. And we all followed it up by making a whopping 17 transactions in the two days since, including another Pulley-related trade.
Vaya con Blingums,
Eddo