The Sanderson Gazette - 2010-11-17 - Best Blingaweek Ever
"Such is the craziness in the Blinaleague" - Mark D. Babel
Trade Recap
An actual blockbuster this time, albeit between the two last-place teams; Kevin dealt Tom Brady (QB, Patriots) and Michael Turner (RB, Falcons) to Pat for Jay Cutler (QB, Bears) and LeSean McCoy (RB, Eagles).
The trade deadline is November 26.
Week Ten Recap
Dave def. Rob, 122.15-116.09:
Rob was one of four Blingalites that saw a Monday-afternoon lead evaporate thanks to the Philadelphia Eagles. Dave completed a 30-point comeback a mere nine seconds into the second quarter of the Eagles' win when Jeremy Maclin (17.63 points) caught a long touchdown pass. DeSean Jackson was his other Eagle of note, scoring 19.57 points. Dave also got 20-point games from Mark Sanchez and Frank Gore, and finds himself all alone in sixth place. Playoffs?! We're talking about the playoffs?!
Babel def. Matt, 115.89-95.96:
Matt, the second in our list of newly-minted Eagle-haters, had a mere 28-point lead heading into the Monday night game. Of course, thanks to Michael Vick's possibly-record-setting day, Babel won handily. Vick's 51.65 points are believed to be a Blingaleague record. I can't be sure, since I don't have old data for individual players, but those of us chatting in StatTracker think so. And the games I spot-checked (such as Brady 2007) didn't reveal anything to dispute that guess.
Ed def. Mike, 125.13-124.36:
Not only is Mike's margin of defeat ninth-lowest all-time, his total score is fourth-highest all-time by a losing team. All in all, it was an extremely rough week for a team fighting for a playoff spot. Ed got a 30-point week from Roddy White and a 10-point week from the Philadelphia defense to push him barely over the top. Every one of Mike's non-special-teamers scored at least 10 points, as well.
Kevin def. Pat, 100.51-99.27:
The most recent trade partners also had a battle for the ages, with Kevin riding his newest RB, LeSean McCoy (17.10 points) to a come-from-behind victory. Pat's new players, Tom Brady (35.80) and Michael Turner (3.90), had a slight edge over Kev's, Jay Cutler (21.25) and McCoy. More (less?) importantly, Kevin pulls into a tie for tenth place with Matt.
Allen def. Derrek, 106.97-73.18:
It's fitting that Allen puts up his first 100-point week of the season when both his Panther RBs were injured. He destroys his rival Derrek (though they'll meet again in three weeks) thanks to 33.75 points from Matt Cassel.
Rabbit def. Pulley, 140.84-114.72:
I, for one, welcome our new Rabbit overlord. However, I'm tired of his dominance. Pulley is too, I'm sure, as he wasted a great week from Dwayne Bowe (36.80 points) and really strong weeks from Eli Manning (24.35) and Jamaal Charles (20.77). Who powered Rabbit this week? Mike Wallace (30.13), Maurice Jones-Drew (25.07), and Brandon Lloyd (24.00).
Current Standings
Rabbit, 8-2, 1215.35 (*)
Ed, 8-2, 1036.34 (*)
Pulley, 7-3, 963.92
Babel, 6-4, 991.88
Derrek, 6-4, 943.52
Dave, 5-5, 1099.71
Mike, 4-6, 934.65
Rob, 4-6, 903.96
Allen, 4-6, 768.59
Matt, 3-7, 974.92
Kevin, 3-7, 888.03
Pat, 2-8, 795.90
(*) Clinched playoff berth
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Half of this season's Team Blangums awards have gone to Pralines & Dick. This week, 140.84 was Rabbit's magic number.
Slapped Heartbeat: A respectable-for-the-Slapped-Heartbeat-award 73.18 points earned D's AutoPicks this one.
Start of the Week: The Eagles defense did it for the Leavitt Langoliers, getting 10.00 points when 9.24 was needed.
Misplay of the Week: No one gets this award. All the close losers put up great totals, and I don't want to punish any of them.
Playoff Scenarios
Rabbit has clinched a playoff berth.
Ed has clinched a playoff berth.
Pulley clinches a playoff berth with:
a win;
OR
a tie;
OR
a Mike loss or tie AND a Rob/Allen tie.
Babel clinches a playoff berth with:
a win AND a Mike loss or tie AND a Rob/Allen tie.
Derrek clinches a playoff berth with:
a win AND a Mike loss or tie AND a Rob/Allen tie.
Week Eleven Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Location Nouns (Rob, 4-6, 8th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 4-6, 9th):
It seems weird that a matchup between the current eighth- and ninth-place Blingaleague teams would be the game of the week. But, if you read the section immediately above this one, you'll see that this game has playoff implications on all but the top two and bottom three teams in our standings.
Also, it gives Allen a chance to be featured, for a change.
Matt Cassel has been a great pickup for Dr. Clark, putting up some nice numbers since Tony Romo's fragile collarbone left Allen in need of a QB. Rob's been working a matchup situation for the position, switching between Joe Flacco and Ben Roethlisberger.
But, most amazingly, Allen finds himself very much alive for the playoffs despite his top two RBs playing for the sadsack Panthers. Now that DeAngelo Williams is out for the year, Allen will have to rely even more on Ricky Williams and Marshawn Lynch.
And that is where Rob has the key advantage. Peyton Hillis has been huge for him all year, and LeGarrette Blount was a nice acquisition from the Pullman.
Matt, Pat, and Kevin have to wonder how in hell they're looking up at these two. And yes, I meant to offend you, Rob.
Pick: Location Nouns.
Other Blingamatches
Leavitt Langoliers (Ed, 8-2, 2nd) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 7-3, 3rd):
This game doesn't have quite the playoff implications of the Rob/Allen matchup, so it didn't make the Game of the Blingaweek cut. However, it does feature two teams hoping for byes. Pulley has to wonder if his team, its seven-game winning streak snapped, has peaked. Ed has to hold out that Shonn Greene turns into a late-season workhorse. Both have to hope they can somehow defeat Rabbit if the time comes. Pick: Leavitt Langoliers.
Champaign Supernovas (Kevin, 3-7, 11th) vs. The Grossmans (Mike, 4-6, 7th):
Mike hopes to bounce back from an insanely tough loss. At least he gets to face a team looking up at him in the standings. Kevin's no pushover, but Mike's team is also a little better than its record. And he doesn't have to start Thomas Jones. Pick: The Grossmans.
Not You Fat Jesus (Pat, 2-8, 12th) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 6-4, 5th):
D, who once seemed to be in contention for a bye, now has to pull his team together to avoid his second late-season collapse in three years. Pat's team is feisty for 2-8, and just came oh-so-close to a winning streak. Is an upset in the cards? Pick: Not You Fat Jesus.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 8-2, 1st) vs. Cuban Fumin' Humans (Babel, 6-4, 4th):
Babel's team is a lesson in perseverance. And in luck. He stuck with him team despite sitting at 2-4. He also nabbed Michael Vick after his planned starter went down. He rides a four-game winning streak into his matchup with Rabbit, the Destroyer of Fantasy Dreams. This week, though, I like Babel's matchups. Pick: Cuban Fumin' Humans.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-7, 10th) vs. Our Lil' Albondigas (Dave, 5-5, 6th):
Matt's looking towards next year, so I guess it's lucky he drafted so many rookies. Dave has finally reached .500 again, fitting to go along with his second-place points. Dave has a really good team. What a weird thing to say. Pick: Our Lil' Albondigas.
Closing Thoughts
I feel priveleged to write this newsletter. I thought last week was crazy, and then this brought four come-from-behind victories thanks to an insane Monday night game.
To top it all off, 2010 Week 10 now ranks as the second-highest scoring Blingaweek in history. Only the second Blingaweek ever (2007 Week 2) bests it, and by only 15 points total at that.
Next stop Vegas,
Eddo