The Sanderson Gazette - 2010-11-24 - Green Bay Casserole
"I hate stat corrections" - Kevin (redux)
Much-Delayed Corrections
Contrary to what was reported last week, Kevin did not defeat Pat 100.51-99.27. Rather, thanks to Yahoo!'s stat correction department, Pat now has the win, 100.27-99.51.
Jay Cutler had an extra sack added to his statline, taking a point away from Kevin. The Bears defense had an extra sack added to their statline as well, giving Pat the win-earning point.
Kevin has been bitten by the stat-correction monster thrice now.
Trade Recap
I won't rehash any of the debate, but Kevin gives Greg Jennings (WR, Packers) and the Packers DEF to Ed for Sam Bradford (QB, Rams) and the Eagles DEF.
The trade deadline is this Friday, November 26.
Week Eleven Recap
Derrek def. Pat, 122.53-119.70:
Pat's 119.70 poins are the eighth-most in a losing effort in Blingaleague history. Derrek, meanwhile, gets back on the winning track, all but clinching a playoff spot. D gets huge weeks from Steve Johnson (36.27 points) and Drew Brees (31.10), while Pat wastes a shutout from the Bears defense (21.00).
Allen def. Rob, 113.55-94.22:
What has come over Allen? His early 3-1 record was a bit fluky, as he didn't score 100 points in any of those wins. In fact, he didn't score 100 points until just last week. Now, however, he has two such games - and without his Panther RBs! Even more surprising, he's back in the playoff hunt! Rob, to Pulley's glee, appears to have blown a golden opportunity to sneak back into the playoff chase.
Rabbit def. Babel, 155.14-94.76:
Ho hum, another 140-plus point for Rabbit. This week's victim? Mark Babel, and his Humans that Fume. Rabbit gets 23.37 points or more from Peyton Manning, Mike Wallace, Arian Foster, and Maurice Jones-Drew. Babel got good weeks from Michael Vick (19.30 points) and Cedric Benson (19.33) in his losing effort.
Ed def. Pulley, 141.06-104.25:
Pulley's reward for his seven-game winning streak was to play Rabbit and Ed in consecutive weeks. Needless to say, he emerged from that gamut with an 0-2 record. A bit of that blame can go to Randy Moss, who followed up his one-catch week ten with a zero point week eleven. Ed got good weeks from Matt Ryan (23.45 points) and the Ravens defense (23.00). Greg Jennings had a ridiculous week (38.27) in the wake of the recent trade, though his points did not make the difference in this game; any WR on Ed's bench would have provided enough points to clear Pulley's total.
Matt def. Dave, 98.01-87.74:
Dave must be nervous. On the verge of making the playoffs for the first time in his Blingaleague career, he lays an egg against the Hammers. On the flip side, Matt has resurrected his playoff hopes, jumping into eighth place, one game behind Dave for sixth place. And this was despite playing Ryan Mathews and his big fat zero.
Kevin def. Mike, 81.85-51.81:
As Mike so aptly stated this week, this loss pretty much clinched his playoff elimination. And, scoring what he did, he doesn't deserve to make the playoffs. Kevin wins despite getting zero points from Seyi Ajirotutu (what a shocker) and -1 point from the Lions defense, and pulls himself out of the cellar in the process.
Current Standings
Rabbit, 9-2, 1370.49 (*)
Ed, 9-2, 1177.40 (*)
Pulley, 7-4, 1068.17
Derrek, 7-4, 1068.85
Babel, 6-5, 1086.64
Dave, 5-6, 1187.45
Allen, 5-6, 882.14
Matt, 4-7, 1072.93
Rob, 4-7, 999.18
Mike, 4-7, 986.46
Kevin, 3-8, 968.88
Pat, 3-8, 916.60
(*) Clinched playoff berth
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Make that six for eleven for Pralines & Dick. Rabbit's 155.14 points are the eleventh-most all time.
Slapped Heartbeat: The Grossmans live up to their namesake; Mike's team scores only 51.81 points.
Start of the Week: Derrek may have been tempted to play Donald Driver (4.13 points) instead of Steve Johnson, but didn't. He was rewarded with 36.27 points.
Misplay of the Week: Pat played Lance Moore and his 5.73 points over Patrick Crayton (20.00) and Nate Washinton (15.60), costing himself a win that could have moved him into playoff contention.
Playoff Scenarios
Rabbit has clinched a playoff berth.
Rabbit clinches a first-round bye with:
a win or tie;
OR
a loss AND a Pulley loss AND a Derrek loss.
Ed has clinched a playoff berth.
Ed clinches a first-round bye with:
a win or tie;
OR
a loss AND a Pulley loss AND a Derrek loss.
Pulley clinches a playoff berth with:
a win or tie;
OR
a loss AND an Allen loss or tie.
Derrek clinches a playoff berth with:
a win or tie;
OR
a loss AND a Dave loss or tie;
OR
a loss AND an Allen loss or tie.
Babel clinches a playoff berth with:
a win AND a Dave loss or tie;
OR
a win AND an Allen loss or tie;
OR
a tie AND a Dave loss AND an Allen loss.
Week Twelve Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 7-4, 3rd) vs. Our Lil' Albondigas (Dave, 5-6, 6th):
You've heard of the Clash of Hatred? Well, this game could be called the Clash of Desperation.
Pulley, oh-so-close to a playoff spot, has lost two in a row, albeit against the two teams tied for first. And now, he faces the #2 point-scorer in the Blingaleague. He clinches a playoff spot with a win or tie, and can even clinch with a loss and help from Pat. Of course, no one wants to enter the playoffs on a losing streak.
Dave's desperation is even higher. He's on the verge of making the playoffs for the first time ever, but still is assured of nothing. His odds are good, as his point total would likely win him any tiebreaker, but with his history, he can't be too confident.
Is the Texans' defense the elixir that Randy Moss needs to break out for Pulley? Will Philip Rivers continue his record-breaking pace? Will I ever stop asking questions? (Answers: I think so; probably; in due time.) Pick: Our Lil' Albondigas.
Other Blingamatches
Not You Fat Jesus (Pat, 3-8, 12th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 5-6, 7th):
Allen is in a familiar spot: seventh place. He's finished there twice in three years, but hopes to vault into playoff contention. Pat, too, can harbor playoff hopes, as no one has yet been eliminated. Honestly, though, I don't see either of these teams reaching week fourteen. Pick: Not You Fat Jesus.
Location Nouns (Rob, 4-7, 9th) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 7-4, 4th):
Derrek sits in the same boat as Pulley: a win, and he's in. He pulled out of his losing streak last week, and hopes to continue his winning ways this week against Rob's resurgent squad. Rob retains some playoff hopes himself, though he has to leapfrog three people as it is. This should be a high-scoring affair. Pick: D's AutoPicks.
The Grossmans (Mike, 4-7, 10th) vs. Cuban Fumin' Humans (Babel, 6-5, 5th):
Babel controls his own destiny, if you will, and will clinch a playoff berth this week with a win and help. Mike needs a win, another win, and more help. The outlook isn't so good for The Grossmans, but the Humans should be moderately confident. Pick: Cuban Fumin' Humans.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 9-2, 1st) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-7, 8th):
The second rematch of Blingabowl III isn't very sexy. Rabbit's all but clinched a bye, and Matt's on the outside of the playoffs. The latter has put himself back into the playoff picture thanks to his defeat of Dave, but rightly feels hopeless, having to go through the assumed Team Blangums winner to even think of making the playoffs. Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Leavitt Langoliers (Ed, 9-2, 2nd) vs. Champaign Supernovas (Kevin, 3-8, 11th):
Kevin's hopes for a third-straight playoff appearance have disappeared, and his chance to play spoiler won't come about until his rivalry matchup with Dave next week, so this weeks' game is fairly inconsequential. Ed still hopes for the #1 overall seed, though that would also require Rabbit losing at some point. Pick: Leavitt Langoliers.
Closing Thoughts
Rabbit's 1370.49 points are already the third-most in Blingaleague history, behind only 2007 Katie (1574.37) and 2009 Matt (1378.92). He's on pace to finish first all-time.
Both Dave and Ed are on pace to pass 2009 Matt, as well.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Ed