"What up semi finals?" - Optimus Prime

Quarterfinals Recap

Derrek def. Pulley, 116.45-113.28:

Look who's back in the semifinals! For the third time in the four-year history of the Blingaleague, D has reached the final four. In 2007, he secured a first-round bye. In 2009, he destroyed Ed handily in the quarters. This year? He very nearly had a tough loss. Instead, Pulley came up just short, and Derrek moved on.

Pulley is no stranger to tough luck in the playoffs. In the 2007 quarterfinals, he lost to Babel despite scoring 114.83 points. Of course, he's also been on the winning end of a few classic playoff matches. In 2008, he defeated Allen by 0.72 points in the quarterfinals, and later edged Rob by 2.81 in Blingabowl II.

Wait, I should talk about the actual game between the two? Darren McFadden exploded to 41.77 points for D, whose only dud performance was turned in by Donald Driver (1.60).

Pulley had a good week, too. Jason Witten (21.20) and Derrick Mason (22.40) put up valiant efforts in a comeback attempt, and the Saints' defense scored an excellent 19.00, but it just wasn't enough. How do you say "victory" in Italian?

Allen def. Babel, 99.76-65.60:

Color me shocked. Color all of us shocked, actually. Not only did Allen emerge from the week nine ashes to make the playoffs, but he's now made some noise while he's here. It wasn't his best game - he failed to top 100 points for the first time in five weeks - but it was more than enough to leave Babel behind.

And boy, was Babel left behind. For the second time in three years, Babel's team saved it's worst score for his first playoff game. The Vikings are easy to blame, with Adrian Peterson and Visanthe Shiancoe sputtering to 2.60 and 0.93 points, respectively, but it really was a whole team effort. Michael Vick (23.10) and Wes Welker (15.33) were solid, but everyone else underperformed; in addition to the aforementioned Vikings, Davone Bess put up a meager 0.80 points.

Allen, meanwhile, put up a good, if not great, score. While Greg Olsen (0.80) and Ricky Williams (3.40) disappointed, everyone else Allen played had a solid week. His MVP would be Marques Colston, with 18.13 points, but the Atlanta defense (13.00) also stood out.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: While D's Autopicks didn't put up their highest total of the season, the 116.45 points they scored was enough to bring home this week's Team Blangums award.

Slapped Heartbeat: Cuban Fumin' Humans, 65.60.

Start of the Week: Strangely, no one. Both Derrek and Allen left some points on the bench this week. And the positions that scored max points for them were filled by no-brainer plays (Drew Brees and Donovan McNabb, for example). And I can't really give this award to a losing team. It will sit vacant for a week. We'll survive.

Misplay of the Week: When I saw that Pulley had played oft-benched Robert Meachem for 0.00 points, I was sure I'd found our Misplay of the Week. But looking more closely, his best option at the third WR slot was Jason Avant, whose 2.40 points would not have been enough to eke out a win. Remarkably, he had two receivers on his bench, Dwayne Bowe and Randy Moss, also put up zeroes.

Ultimately, Pulley does get this award. His favorite kicker, Rob Bironas, got him 4.00 points. Had he played Shaun Suisham, he'd have been rewarded with 12.00... and a spot in the semifinals.

Semifinals Preview

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 11-2, #1) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 8-6, #5):

Ah, yes, I remember how this one goes. Rabbit continues his march to the title game as the #1 seed, defeating #5 Derrek by 45 points.

Wait, what? That was one of last year's semifinals? Heh. As it turns out, these two are not only used to reaching the semis - three out of four years for D, two in a row for Rabs - they're also familiar with facing each other once they're there.

So how will this year's version play out? On the surface, Rabbit's team is stronger than his 2009 squad, while Derrek's is weaker. But will that hold true for one more week?

Honestly, it looks like it will. While Rabs is not without question marks, particularly Brandon Lloyd's place on a sinking ship and the Packers' defense's matchup against the New England steamroller, his team is still extremely strong. Peyton Manning and Jacob Tamme look to pick apart the Jaguars' iffy defense, and Arian Foster expects to continue his dominant season.

Plus, D's problem players are worse than Rabbit's. While Darren McFadden has a juicy matchup against Denver, both Donald Driver and Sidney Rice might be missing their QBs. Yahoo! likes Rabbit to reach Blingabowl IV; so do I. Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Leavitt Langoliers (Ed, 9-4, #2) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 8-6, #6):

Allen's season, to say the least, has been strange. He has two RBs on his roster that are out for the year (DeAngelo Williams and Clinton Portis) and a QB that likely is, too (Tony Romo). He can't seem to pick the correct TE much of the time. His primary QB (Matt Cassel), acquired midseason, might miss another week due to an appendectomy.

And yet, he has a good shot at coming one win closer to the Sanderson Cup.

He faces yours truly, and I am not without troubles of my own. Chris Johnson looks to be back, and my Falcons duo (Matt Ryan and Roddy White) is as strong as ever; however, the rest of my team is a shell of its former self. Greg Jennings might have Matt Flynn throwing to him. Antonio Gates is probably not playing. The Ravens' defense is tasked with stopping the Saints' offense this week.

I really don't have faith in a pick here, so I'll just go with the better QB. And in 2010, Matt Ryan bests Donovan McNabb. Pick: Leavitt Langoliers.

Fifth-place Game

Cuban Fumin' Humans (Babel, 8-6, #3) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 8-6, #4):

Pride is on the line between these two old rivals. It should be a good game, if anyone cares. Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Season Postmortems

(* - subject to change)

Mark Babel (Cuban Fumin' Humans, 8-6*, 5th or 6th):

It was a real up-and-down year for Mark's Humans. He got off to a rough start, but was able to right the ship. Then, as he got hopeful for a playoff run, his team collapsed. While Adrian Peterson contributed to that collapse, he also was a big reason why Babel reached the playoffs. Just before the draft, Babel wondered if he should have jettisoned Peterson and kept Ryan Grant instead. It turns out he had made the right decision after all.

Of course, his best move all year was nabbing Michael Vick off the waiver wire. Though Vick missed a few games, he was otherwise awesome.

If anything, Babel's weakness was his team's inconsistency. He could never be quite sure he was playing the right RB between Cedric Benson and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. Wes Welker and Anquan Boldin mixed in absolute garbage weeks with huge ones. Percy Harvin fought injuries all year.

Overall, it was a good season for Mark. But it ended bitterly.

Adam Pulley (Pullman's MondoSquad, 8-6*, 5th or 6th):

Pulley had one of the streakiest seasons in memory. He lost his first two, and badly at that. He then reeled off seven wins. Unfortunately, he then lost four of five, including his quarterfinal match with Derrek.

What went right? Jamaal Charles, first of all. And Dwayne Bowe, despite Pulley's lukewarm feelings on draft day, had a huge middle of the season. LaDanian Tomlinson was a great pickup, as well, helping Adam a lot during the big winning streak.

If Bowe and Tomlinson had stayed hot, maybe Pulley would have, as well. However, they both sputtered at the end of the season. It also didn't help that the #1 overall pick, Randy Moss, had a straight-up bad year.

Draft Lottery

Odds of getting the first pick:

Pat: 28.34%

Mike: 21.23%

Kevin: 14.81%

Matt: 14.20%

Dave: 13.27%

Rob: 8.14%

Closing Thoughts

Good luck to our remaining four Blingaleaguers. It's been great fun writing this all year, it makes me sad there are only two left.

Eddo

Previous Next

All Sanderson Gazettes