The Sanderson Gazette - 2010-12-30 - Season's Wrappings

SEASON IN REVIEW

Blingabowl IV Recap

Rabbit def. Ed, 129.25-93.16:

For a moment on Sunday, I thought I had a shot. How foolish I was.

Rabbit's Blingabowl got off to a big start, with Mike Wallace scoring 19.87 points on Thursday night. He was set back some when Maurice Jones-Drew was ruled out for Sunday, and had to play Ryan Torain instead. That looked to be costly for a while, as neither Torain nor Santana Moss was doing much against the Jaguars. All while Mike Thomas was having a big game for Ed in the same NFL contest.

But Torain scored a touchdown in the second half, and Moss slowly gained yardage, and the two Redskins finished with 13.03 and 11.33 points, respectively. Ed's Jaguars canceled them out, as Thomas put up 19.20 points and Marcedes Lewis added 4.93.

The Sunday afternoon games made the difference, though. While Vincent Jackson's 7.20 points were less than ideal, Peyton Manning (19.45), Arian Foster (20.97), and Jacob Tamme (16.40) more than made up for that. Rabbit didn't play his best defense (New England, 23.00 points), but he did get 14.00 from the Packers.

Ed's undoing was started Chris Johnson's sub-standard week. Last season's stud put up a mere 5.80 points in his last game in a three-year run for Ed. Michael Bush didn't help from the other RB spot, scoring only 3.90 points. His WRs were fine, but not spectacular, with Roddy White and Brandon Marshall putting up 11.73 and 13.60 points to go along with Mike Thomas's big day.

Overall, no one can doubt that Rabbit deserves the Sanderson Cup. He dominated the Blingaleague in a way that no one had before. Blangums for him.

Third-place Game Recap

Derrek def. Allen, 93.23-82.20:

The Giants' defense provided -3.00 points for Derrek, and Matt Cassel put up 28.70 for Allen. The rest of this game belonged to D. Kellen Winslow led the way with 25.07 points. Sebastian Janikowski scored 18.00. Meanwhile, Allen got 0.67 from Greg Olsen and a shockingly-low 1.00 from David Akers. As a result, Derrek earns the Blingaleague bronze medal for the second year in a row.

Yearly Awards

I'm going to forgeo the weekly awards, since there were only two games this week. Rob gave me a better idea: seasonal awards. (If you have any other ideas, please share. This is a fun section.)

Team Blangums: Pralines & Dick. Rabbit's team is obviously our winner.

Slapped Heartbeat: Not You Fat Jesus. Pat's team finished last in both points and record, though he did manage to win the consolation bracket. (Note: consolation bracket not endorsed by Blinaleague management.)

Most Valuable Player: Arian Foster, Pralines & Dick. Foster was the stallion of Rabbit's team all year. He finished as the #1 running back by an incredible margin, scoring 314.80 points.

Honorable mentions: Michael Vick, Roddy White, Brandon Lloyd, Dwayne Bowe, Aaron Rodgers, Antonio Gates.

Biggest Dud: Randy Moss, Pullman's MondoSquad. Pulley made Moss the #1 overall pick, and was rewarded with only 80.00 points. His yardage totals for weeks eight through thirteen were 8, bye, 26, 0, 23, 13. A pathetic season for a former stud.

Honorable mentions: DeAngelo Williams, Larry Fitzgerald, Steve Smith (both versions), Ryan Matthews, Pierre Thomas, Shonn Greene, Brett Favre.

Best Midseason Acquisition: Michael Vick, Cuban Fumin' Humans. Babel put a lot of faith in Kevin Kolb, who proceeded to get hurt in week one. Smartly, Mark picked up Michael Vick. Vick wound up being the top-scoring QB, and broke the 50-point barrier against the Redskins in week ten. His contributions were the main reason Babel turned his season into a playoff berth.

Honorable mentions: Brandon Lloyd, Matt Cassel, Marcedes Lewis, Michael Bush, Danny Woodhead, Jacob Tamme.

Best Draft: Rabbit. He smartly grabbed Peyton Manning in the second round, but his best work was rounds five through seven, in which he took Arian Foster, Mike Wallace, and Terrell Owens.

Honorable mentions: Ed, Dave.

Worst Draft: Matt. His all-rookie strategy crashed and burned. Calvin Johnson was a great pick at the end of the first round. No one else was.

Honorable mentions: Pulley, Kevin.

Season Postmortems

Nick "Rabbit" Warren (Pralines & Dick, 13-2, Blingabowl IV Champion):

Rabbit's team was the best team the Blingaleague has ever seen. He broke the total points record. He only lost twice. He won Team Blangums six times during the regular season. If he made a bad pickup during the season, I can't find it.

Ed Gross (Leavitt Langoliers, 10-5, second place):

After being named the consensus favorite following the draft, I nearly fulfilled expectations. Roddy White and Antonio Gates were great picks, but there was disappointment. Chris Johnson disappeared at the end of the year. Shonn Greene was pretty bad all year. Overall, though, it's tough to complain.

Final Standings

  1. Rabbit

  2. Ed

  3. Derrek

  4. Allen

  5. Pulley

  6. Babel

  7. Rob

  8. Dave

  9. Matt

  10. Kevin

  11. Mike

  12. Pat

Draft Lottery

Odds of getting the first pick:

Pat: 28.34%

Mike: 21.23%

Kevin: 14.81%

Matt: 14.20%

Dave: 13.27%

Rob: 8.14%

Closing Thoughts

It's been a great season. Enjoy this Gazette, it will be the last until Springtime.

Eddo