The Sanderson Gazette - 2011-10-26 - Focus on the Victory
"I can't wait for the Gazette, for you to talk about how badass I am" - Allen R. Clark.
Week Seven Recap
Allen def. Babel, 115.16-109.47:
Our Game of the Blingaweek certainly deserved the distinction. Going into the Sunday night game - hell, three-quarters into it - first place was still in doubt. It was Drew Brees's 34.25 points that pushed Allen to victory, while Marques Colston's 25.07 just couldn't get it done for Babel. Oh, and Allen even played his oldest friend, Jonathan Stewart, and got 12.80 points as a reward. Don't be surprised if we see this matchup again come December.
Rabbit def. Pulley, 165.25-63.37:
What a karate explosion! Rabs puts up the fifth-highest score in modern Blingaleague history (read: 2008-present) and the only triple-digit victory in the same span (though Pulley can be partially credited for the latter). It was Arian Foster's 45.37 points leading the way for Rabs. Meanwhile, Pulley's "meh" day consisted of two 11.87-point scorers (Shonn Greene and Darrius Heyward-Bey).
Dave def. Rob, 122.26-70.65:
Rob, who once looked like the class of the 2011 Blingaleague, has now lost three in a row. Dave, the former court jester of our fair kingdom, has reeled off two wins in a row to pull within a game of a playoff spot. The former was done in by his RBs (Peyton Hillis, 0.00 (inactive); Earnest Graham, 1.03 (injured in the first quarter)). The latter was pushed to victory by Cam Newton (24.70), Darren Sproles (23.33), and Plaxico Burress (21.33).
Matt def. Derrek, 110.89-59.96:
DeMarco Murray was the breakout player of the week, scoring 31.30 points for Matt. Harrison also got good games from his other Cowboy, Dez Bryant (18.00), and his seaon-long stud, Jimmy Graham (19.20). On the opposite end, Derrek's high-scorer was Michael Bush, with a meager 11.50 points.
Mike def. Kevin, 75.32-56.28:
Mike's had his share of tough losses this year, so it's fair that he got a lucky break this week. His only truly good game came from Adrian Peterson, who broke out of his relative slump with a 23.50-point day. Kevin would probably like to forget about his week, too; his high- and low-scorers were both Colts (Delone Carter, 12.90; Curtis Painter -0.55). He even got a flat zero from his kicker, Bill Cundiff!
Ed def. Pat, 93.93-48.73:
I get back in the saddle, with a solid, though not impressive, week. Matt Forte, as is his wont, scored 25.57 points and paced my team. Pat's team did not bounce back from its recent struggles; in fact, it might be getting worse. Beanie Wells added injury to his low 4.20 points, and even studly Ray Rice only scored 5.47 this week.
Current Standings
Allen, 5-2, 760.13
Rabbit, 4-3, 823.07
Babel, 4-3, 740.94
Mike, 4-3, 735.65
Matt, 4-3, 723.45
Ed, 4-3, 713.40
Derrek, 4-3, 675.81
Rob, 3-4, 777.33
Dave, 3-4, 754.96
Kevin, 3-4, 699.67
Pulley, 2-5, 599.19
Pat, 2-5, 589.02
"200 Points, Bitches"
It's almost not funny any more.
Steelers defense:
Week Seven: 7.00
Season-To-Date: 45.00 (6.43 per week)
Points To Goal: 155.00 (25.83 per week)
Weekly Awards
Two new awards this week, courtesy of the mind of Robert Roundhouse.
Team Blangums: Rabs is rolling; 165.25 points this week, and now the overall high scorer.
Slapped Heartbeat: Pat's 48.73 makes Peyton Manning cry.
Start of the Week: Allen started Jonathan Stewart, who scored 12.80 points, over Willis McGahee, who scored 5.60. That 7.20-point difference edged him ahead of Babel.
Misplay of the Week: Only Babel lost a close enough game to make a bad misplay, and he actually had no chance with his bench players. So this award will be vacant until week nine.
Weekly MVP: This is one of the two new awards, to go to the player who was the most instrumental to his owner's victory. The inaugural version goes to Drew Brees, whose 34.25 points led Allen's team to a huge win.
Weekly Dud: Curtis Painter scored -0.55 points. Nice try, Kev.
Week Eight Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Oedipus Rex Ryan (Mike, 4-3, 4th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-3, 2nd):
Our featured matchup pits two guys who have had strong seasons, but less-than-ideal records to show for it. Mike's had his share of rough losses, while Rabs started quite weakly before turning on the jets.
And both are projected to have very nice weeks.
Adrian Peterson and Fred Jackson are the strengths of Mike's team, and this week they get to go up against the Panthers and Redskins, respectively. And even though Mike might have to start Doug Baldwin (vs. CIN), his WR corps is still solid, with Miles Austin (@PHI) and Hakeem Nicks (vs. MIA) ready to pick up the slack.
For Rabbit, Mike Wallace seems to be good for at least a long TD each week. This week, he gets to tear into the shaky Patriots defense. Arian Foster has also been ridiculous since returning from injury, but has to face a Jaguars defense that just bottled up Ray Rice. And his stud QB, Tom Brady, has to go up against the Steelers defense.
Mike should have a solid week, no matter what. Rabs, on the other hand, seems to be more variable, more likely to explode, but also to have a tough go of it. Will his recent point barrage continue?
I'm guessing it will. Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Other Blingamatches
St. Olaf Real Stuff (Ed, 4-3, 6th) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 3-4, 8th):
Rob's lost three games in a row, and now his best player, Aaron Rodgers, is on a bye week. Ouch for him. But good for me? Sure, even though my best player, Matt Forte, is also on bye; at least have someone more promising than Alex Smith to step in.
Pick: St. Olaf Real Stuff.
Goulden Pink OBGYN's (Babel, 4-3, 3rd) vs. The Yips (Dave, 3-4, 9th):
Dave's on a roll, but he has a lot of byes to deal with this week. Even Cam Newton can't overcome that. Babel, on the other hand, appears to be at full strength. It looks like he'll keep pace with the pack of 4-3 teams and return Dave to his usual place: on the outside, looking in.
Pick: Goulden Pink OBGYN's.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-4, 10th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 5-2, 1st):
Allen just keeps winning. Is that badass? Perhaps. At the very least, Drew Brees is a stunter. However, Allen will be without a more subtle strength of his team - the Jets defense - in week eight. Will that be enough for Kevin's team to emerge victorious? I predict Kevin gives the six teams immediately behind Allen a reason to cheer.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-3, 5th) vs. Camp Hope (Pat, 2-5, 12th):
Pat really needs a win, and he has some hope in his camp, with Andre Johnson set to return from injury. Matt must be licking his chops, with Ben Roethlisberger getting to throw against the New England defense.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-5, 11th) vs. D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 4-3, 7th):
It's an odd-numbered year, so Pulley's team is bad. And at press time, he has no QB or TE to start. Somone trade him some keepers, quick! Derrek's team doesn't look great this week, but it's likely enough to defeat the Pullman.
Pick: D's AutoPicks.
Closing Thoughts
Allen is all alone in first place. Weird.
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