Ed: Remarkable.

Ed: (Remarkable is a word that is not used enough).

Ed: I will use it in the next Gazette.

Rob: Can that quote be used in the next Gazette?

Rob: Attribute it to yourself.

The low score among the two quarterfinal games was over 114 points. Remarkable is a good word.

Week Fourteen Recap

Matt def. Derrek, 125.62-115.30:

Derrek got off to an iffy start on Thursday night, with Rashard Mendenhall and the Steelers defense combining for a ho-hum 21.60 points. And after the early Sunday games, it looked like he had no chance. Matt got a whopping 39.30 from Maurice Jones-Drew, along with 16.80 from Santana Moss and 14.75 from Matthew Stafford, and opened up a fifty-plus-point lead.

But D roared back, thanks to Philip Rivers (20.00), Larry Fitzgerald (25.87), and Michael Bush (16.33). As such, this game was tight going into the Sunday night game. Mario Manningham came through with 14.27 points for Derrek, but Matt prevailed thanks to his Cowboys: Dez Bryant (12.67), DeMarco Murray (3.30), and Dan Bailey (11.00). Derrek will fall shy of a third-straight third-place finish.

Rob def. Allen, 160.55-114.19:

Big weeks were expected of both these guys. Allen certainly met expectations, with Drew Brees's 23.45 points leading the way. And in a turnabout from the regular season, his RBs were his strength; Steven Jackson scored 20.30 points and Marshawn Lynch put up 18.57. But their Monday night heroics were not enough.

Not enough, because Rob's team just went off. Rob Gronkowski had 33.33 points. Nate Washington added 23.33, Marion Barber 19.07, and the Seahawks defense 17.00. Aaron Rodgers actually had a poor day by his standards (17.05), yet Rob still rolled.

"200 Points, Bitches"

I'm going to give D his playoff scores, for the hell of it.

Steelers defense:

Week Fourteen: 14.00

Season-To-Date: 106.00

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Robert Edward Gross, 160.55 points. Second-highest playoff total of all time, behind only himself.

Slapped Heartbeat: Allen's 114.19 is the strongest Slapped Heartbeat we've ever had.

Start of the Week: Matt wisely played Santana Moss (16.80) over David Nelson (2.67) and Johnny Knox (4.93).

Misplay of the Week: Derrek played BenJarvus Green-Ellis (1.90) instead of Early Doucet (15.73), costing himself enough points for a win.

Weekly MVP: Maurice Jones-Drew scored four touchdowns for the Jaguars, and 39.30 fantasy points for Matt.

Weekly Dud: That would be the aforementioned Green-Ellis, with 1.90 points.

Semifinals Preview

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 8-5, 2nd) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 8-6, 4th):

• Rob leads series, 3-2

This is a juicy matchup, folks. In all likelihood, these are the two best teams in this year's Blingaleague. And one won't make the Blingabowl.

Rob's team is quite good, but far from flawless. To begin, he really has a three-man team: Rodgers, Welker, and Gronkowski. His RBs, despite a great quarterfinal round, are uninspiring. Neither Nate Washington nor DeSean Jackson can give much confidence filling out his receiving corps. Essentially, if his Big Three have down weeks, he's toast.

Rabbit's team is a bit more well-rounded, but is not without questions. You could even argue that he relies more on Arian Foster and Tom Brady than Rob relies on his top guys. Mike Wallace and A.J. Green at one time formed an amazing WR tandem; recently, though, their production has declined.

Ah, who are we kidding? These two teams boast five of the top fourteen overall scorers. This figures to be a wild game.

Pick: Location Nouns.

St. Olaf Real Stuff (Ed, 9-4, 1st) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 8-6, 6th):

• Matt leads series, 3-2

Neither Matt nor myself is a stranger to the Blingabowl; he won two years ago, while I finished second last season. (The other semifinal features two similarly-experienced teams; between the four of us, we make up five of the six previous Blingabowl entrants.)

Matt's team has been hot when it's mattered most, thanks to MJD's MVP-calibre season and DeMarco Murray's emergence. The latter, however, will miss this weekend's games. Luckily, Matt has Felix Jones ready to step in. He also hopes Jimmy Graham can feast on a weak Vikings defense, and that Matthew Stafford can put up big numbers against the Raiders.

My team, while not quite up to the standards of prior Blingaleague #1 seeds, is no pushover. Even without Matt Forte, I have a couple productive RBs in Ryan Mathews and Roy Helu. The former has a poor matchup this week, however, facing the Ravens. My WRs aren't bad, either: Vincent Jackson faces the stout Ravens, but Brandon Marshall (@ BUF) and Dwayne Bowe (vs. GB) or Lance Moore (@ MIN) have good matchups.

It looks like this winner of this game will be the underdog next week, no matter what, but certainly capable of a win.

Pick: St. Olaf Real Stuff.

Fifth-Place Game

D's AutoPicks (Derrek, 8-6, 3rd) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 7-7, 5th):

Purely for draft order. Pick: Optimus Prime.

Season Postmortems

Derrek Drenckpohl (D's AutoPicks, 8-6*, 5th/6th):

Derrek made a big splash in the draft, taking the Steelers defense in the third round. What a laugh we all had. Surrounding that, however, he drafted his usual good team. Larry Fitzgerald had a good year receiving passes from awful QBs. Philip Rivers wasn't a particularly good real-life QB, but he had a decent fantasy year. Darren McFadden was rolling until he got hurt; D had Michael Bush to fill in and continue the good play. Only Rashard Mendenhall could be considered a true disappointment.

Allen Clark (Optimus Prime, 7-7*, 5th/6th):

Allen's season was so promising once; he was in first place for five straight weeks, but struggled to the finish. Drew Brees was a great first-round pick. Steve Smith and Steven Jackson re-lived some of their glory days. And Marshawn Lynch finished the season like a fantasy MVP. Allen's main problem was that he often picked the wrong combination of Brandon Lloyd, Santonio Holmes, Willis McGahee, and Jonathan Stewart to fill out his starting roster.

Closing Thoughts

Good luck everyone!

Eddo

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