BLINGABOWL IV* EDITION

(* - Previous Blingabowls have been re-numbered to reflect for our 2007 decision.)

Week Fifteen Recap

Rabbit def. Rob, 106.13-94.89:

I feel like someone, last week perhaps, was discussing how both Rob and Rabbit have been reliant on a select few star players. That person was a bit prophetic, really; Rob got less than 13 points combined from two of his studs, Wes Welker (5.47) and Rob Gronkowski (7.07), which doomed him. Even the Seahawks defense's big game (30.00) wasn't enough for him.

Meanwhile, Rabbit's two big-time players, Tom Brady (28.20) and Arian Foster (22.63) did show up. Thow in 15.33 from A.J. Green and 15.47 from Demaryius Thomas, and Rabbit had the winning formula. He advances to his third-straight Blingabowl.

Matt def. Ed, 118.64-88.17:

Matt's team put together a textbook definition of "balanced scoring"; every one of his flex-eligible starters (Dez Bryant, Reggie Wayne, Maurice Jones-Drew, Felix Jones, Jimmy Graham, and Santana Moss) either scored a touchdown or put up 100 yards rushing. Three (Bryant, Jones-Drew, and Moss) even scored the exact same number of points (11.33). With Matthew Stafford adding a huge 32.05 points, Matt easily advanced to his second Blingabowl in three years.

I was undone by Eli Manning's craptacular play (3.85) and to a lesser extent, Roy Helu's (7.43).

Allen def. Derrek, 118.37-87.31:

Allen beat Derrek for the fifth time in six tries, locking up a fifth-place finish. (Too bad his only loss to D in that time was in last year's third-place game.) No doubt, this will add fuel to the fire in the Blingaleague's version of Bears-Packers (nine total meetings, the most in league history).

"200 Points, Bitches"

Steelers defense:

Week Fifteen: 1.00

Season-To-Date: 107.00

This section is retired for the year (and likely forever, sadly). At least D made it halfway to his promise.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Matt's balanced team remained red hot, scoring 118.64 points.

Slapped Heartbeat: My 88.17 was a respectable, if disappointing, score for a Slapped Heartbeat.

Start of the Week: Rabbit made the right move, playing Demaryius Thomas (15.47) over... James Jones (2.27)? This was kind of a weak week.

Misplay of the Week: Rob left Toby Gerhart (19.33), Mike Tolbert (12.40), and Nate Burleson (16.80) on the bench, while he started LeGarrette Blount (2.10), Marion Barber (3.30), and DeSean Jackson (3.73). I'll let you decide which one qualifies for this award.

Weekly MVP: Matthew Stafford's 32.05 points are a big part of why Matt's Harrison Hammers are playing for the Sanderson Cup this week.

Weekly Dud: Eli Manning (3.85), come on down! You're the next contestant on "Ed's Collection of Stupid Quarterbacks!"

Pickup of the Week: Thomas, Demaryius. (Also the first Demaryius-for-Denarius transaction in Blingaleague (world?) history.)

Blingabowl IV Preview

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 9-5) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 9-6):

• Rabbit leads series, 4-2

Two years ago, these two met in Blingabowl II, in what seemed like a match up of destiny. After all, they were #1 and #2 all season long in 2009.

This year, Rabs hovered near the top of the standings all year, but never reached the dominant levels of the two years prior. Matt, meanwhile, found himself in ninth place as late as week nine, and didn't push into the top six until the very last week of the season.

And here they are, both looking to become the first two-time possessor of Lord Sanderson's Cup.

Despite their year-long status, Matt's team might actually be in better shape. He's been on a roll, having won five of six games, with triple-digit scoring in all six. Rabbit has also won five of six, but finds his team looking only somewhat like the won that got him here.

He's missing Greg Jennings, his second-round WR, to injury, and Fred Davis, his stalwart TE, to suspension. Davis's replacement, Jake Ballard, got hurt last week, so Rabs will have to rely on Anthony Fasano (@ NE). Matt's TE situation - Jimmy Graham (vs. ATL) - is a bit more promising.

Rabbit has the edge at QB, in Tom Brady (vs. MIA), though Matt has gotten some nice games from Matthew Stafford (vs. SD). At RB, Rabbit has the always-solid Arian Foster (@ IND); that's mostly a wash, though, as Matt trots out Maurice Jones-Drew (@ TEN).

As to the rest of their rosters, Rabs has a little more upside (though he has to wonder what happened to Mike Wallace (vs. STL)), but Matt's is a little safer (who wouldn't like Santana Moss (vs. MIN) this week?).

This is a really, really tough call. Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Third-Place Game

St. Olaf Real Stuff (Ed, 9-5) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 8-7

• Ed leads series, 3-2

Aaron Rodgers might not play a full game this week. Pick: St. Olaf Real Stuff.

Season Postmortems

(* Record/finish subject to change)

Ed Gross (St. Olaf Real Stuff, 9-5*, 3rd/4th):

I captured my first regular-season-first-place finish, and moved into a tie for second place in all-time record (with Babel, at 31-21), but I can't help but be disappointed. Maybe because, had I played Tim Tebow and Lance Moore instead of Eli Manning and Dwayne Bowe (what a great trade!), I would be facing off against Rabs in a rematch of last year's Blingabowl. Ah, well. There's always next year. Matt Forte and Ryan Mathews were huge for me all year, and Brandon Marshall had a sneakily great year, as well. My QB situation, thanks to Matt Schaub's overall meh-ness and Eli Manning's untimely suckiness, did me in.

Rob Gross (Location Nouns, 8-7*, 3rd/4th):

Rob's season has been analyzed to death, I feel. Aaron Rodgers, Wes Welker, and Rob Gronkowski were all extremely awesome. LeGarrette Blount and Peyton Hillis were possibly the weakest RB duo in the league. His kicker, David Akers, was good, but who cares?

Closing Thoughts

Pulley scored 100 points or more only five times during the regular season, topping out at 126.25 in his week thirteen Clash of Hatred. In his two postseason weeks (consolation bracket not endorsed by Blingaleague management), he has scored 153.76 and 138.10 points. What a mepsi.

Eddo

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