The Sanderson Gazette - 2011-12-28 - Repeatable
"I'm going to start a tally of how many times you mention 2007 in the Gazette, only to say that we don't count 2007" - Rob.
Forgive me if some of the standard content is a little brief; there's a very special feature towards the end of this edition.
Blingabowl IV Recap
Rabbit def. Matt, 119.09-92.61:
Two years later, the outcome is reversed. Rabs concludes a three-year run of blangums performances with a convincing win to take home the Sanderson Cup (hopefully, I'll actually get it to him this year). Mr. Warren got the usual excellence from Tom Brady (28.90) and Arian Foster (23.93), with 18.50 points supplied by Kevin Smith.
Matt got good quarterbacking, as well, with Matthew Stafford producing 28.15 points. And despite Reggie Wayne's 20.13 and Maurice Jones-Drew's 19.10, he couldn't muster enough to take down the defending champ.
Third-Place Game Recap
Ed def. Rob, 111.09-106.89:
I avoid having to pay out any third-place winnings, thanks to my narrow victory over Rob. Brandon Marshall came through hugely, with 26.80 points. Rob got 35.95 from Aaron Rodgers, but it wasn't quite enough.
Yearly Awards
Team Blangums: Pralines & Dick. Again.
Slapped Heartbeat: The Yips. Again.
Most Valuable Player: Now, this is tough. Maurice Jones-Drew came through down the stretch for Matt, Aaron Rodgers was the top overall scorer for Rob, and Arian Foster was huge for Rabbit, but missed two games. I'm going to give this award to Rob Gronkowski, who was so much better than the next-best TE, it was remarkable.
Honorable mentions: Jones-Drew, Rodgers, Foster, LeSean McCoy.
Biggest Dud: Kevin was excited that Chris Johnson fell to him at #4 overall. He shouldn't have been. Johnson was the main culprit for Kev's disappointment of a season.
Honorable mentions: LeGarrette Blount, DeAngelo Williams, Steelers defense.
Best Midseason Acquisition: Even though his team wasn't particularly good, Kevin struck gold by picking up Victor Cruz, who wound up with over 1,000 yards receiving on the year.
Honorable mentions: Santana Moss (Matt), Roy Helu (Ed), CJ Spiller (Pulley).
Best Draft: I grabbed Matt Forte, Ryan Mathews, and Brandon Marshall with three straight picks, riding them to nine wins.
Honorable mentions: Rabbit, Matt, Rob.
Worst Draft: Pat took Beanie Wells in the third, and he had a good year. Otherwise, ouch. Andre Johnson in the first. Peyton Manning in the second. Chad Ochocinco in the fifth.
Honorable mentions: Dave, Pulley.
Season Postmortems
Nick "Rabbit" Warren (Pralines & Dick, 10-5, Blingabowl IV Champion):
Rabbit continued riding the Arian Foster train, and supplemented him with Tom Brady and AJ Green via the draft. He also works the waiver wire like a pro. There's not really much more to say: we all know Rabs is a fantasy all-star.
Matt Harrison (Harrison Hammers, 9-7, second place):
Matt had a great year-end run, thanks to Maurice Jones-Drew and Matthew Stafford. DeMarco Murray also looks like a great keeper.
Final Standings
Rabbit
Matt
Ed
Rob
Allen
Derrek
Babel
Kevin
Mike
Pulley
Pat
Dave
Special Feature: Blingapower Rankings
I'll just dive right into this...
(Overall records include playoff games.)
12. Dave Fultz
Overall record: 18-34 (.346)
Yearly finishes: 11th, 11th, 8th, 12th
Dave is - how do I put this delicately? - craptacular at fantasy football. And he does this despite acquiring decent talent on draft day; he's had Philip Rivers, Matt Forte, and now Cam Newton as great keepers. He's consistently bad, though, and even in the one year he was kind of good (2010), he missed out on the playoffs. What NFL team does that sound like? How about: the Cleveland Browns.
11. Pat Gawne
Overall record: 14-25 (.359)
Yearly finishes: N/A, 8th, 12th, 11th
Pat's been nearly as bad as Dave, frankly. His first year (2009), he came close to the playoffs, but since has not been good. However, he's always capable of knocking off a top team, should his team put together a good week. He also took over a once-strong franchise. NFL equivalent: the Oakland Raiders.
10. Mike Romor
Overall record: 20-32 (.385)
Yearly finishes: 8th, 10th, 11th, 9th
Honestly, I was surprised Mike's finishes were so poor. He has a knack for putting together fast starts, but then stumbling to the finish. Kind of a tease, in a way. NFL equivalent: the Buffalo Bills.
9. Kevin Pattermann
Overall record: 26-30 (.464)
Yearly finishes: 6th, 5th, 10th, 8th
We've reached the next tier of Blingafranchises. Kevin is no stranger to the playoffs (he's made it twice), but has yet to make any noise while he's there. He generally drafts talented players, but they tend to disappoint. NFL equivalent: the Cincinnati Bengals.
8. Allen Clark
Overall record: 31-28 (.525)
Yearly finishes: 5th, 7th, 4th, 5th
Allen, remarkably (there's that word again), has made the playoffs three out of four years. He's been an overlooked, yet not great, franchise. NFL equivalent: the Tennessee Titans.
7. Mark Babel
Overall record: 31-25 (.554)
Yearly finishes: 4th, 9th, 6th, 7th
Babel is undoubtedly a flagship Blingaleague franchise. He is actually tied for second-best regular-season record, thanks to finishing over .500 three out of four years. He even went 11-2 in 2008. And yet, he always disappoints come playoff time. NFL equivalent: the Dallas Cowboys.
6. Derrek Drenckpohl
Overall record: 32-28 (.533)
Yearly finishes: 7th, 3rd, 3rd, 6th
Derrek is a lot like his rival, Allen. He never really has a great team, but he consistently makes the playoffs. Unlike Allen, he's actually taken care of some business once he's there. So, he puts together teams that reach the semifinals, but never really seem that good. This one's easy. NFL equivalent: the New York Jets.
5. Adam Pulley
Overall record: 28-29 (.491)
Yearly finishes: 1st, 12th, 5th, 10th
Pulley was a tough one to rank; in the end, I gave him quite a bit of credit for having one of four names engraved on Sandy. It helps that he had another year where he was strong, despite failing to advance in the playoffs. As to an NFL equivalent - he won a championship a while back, has made the playoffs since, and also been awful at times. That sounds like: the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
4. Rob Gross
Overall record: 33-27 (.550)
Yearly finishes: 2nd, 4th, 7th, 4th
It must kill Pulley to see Rob ahead of him, but that's life. Unlike his rival, Rob has never won the Sanderson Cup; however, he's been a very strong franchise throughout Blingaleague history. He just can't get it done come playoff time. NFL equivalent: the San Diego Chargers.
3. Matt Harrison
Overall record: 28-29 (.491)
Yearly finishes: 12th, 1st, 9th, 2nd
Matt was the toughest franchise to rank properly. He's either made it to the Blingabowl or sat in the bottom tier of the league. So, like I did with Pulley, I gave considerable weight to his name having been forever attached to Sandy's base. It wasn't much easier to find an NFL team that fits him, either. Finally, it dawned on me; what team has mixed in some nice playoff runs with some really crappy seasons? That's right: the Arizona Cardinals.
2. Ed Gross
Overall record: 35-26 (.574)
Yearly finishes: 3rd, 6th, 2nd 3rd
On one hand, I've never won the Blingabowl, only making it there once. On the other, I've finished in the money three times (tied with Rabbit) and have the second-best overall record. After conferring with a few of you, I realized that #2 is the right place for me; I'm regularly one of the best teams, but I just can't get over the top. NFL equivalent: the Baltimore Ravens.
1. Nick "Rabbit" Warren
Overall record: 39-19 (.672)
Yearly finishes: 9th, 2nd, 1st, 1st
Rabs is clearly the class of the Blingaleague. Two straight championships. Three straight Blingabowl appearances. Twice as many victories as losses. NFL equivalent: the New England Patriots.
Closing Thoughts
I sincerely hope everyone had a great holiday, and I wish you all a happy new year.
Expect to receive the next Gazette in the spring.
Eddo