The Sanderson Gazette - 2012-09-26 - Like He's One of the Family
"I just can't get any fantasy luck this year" - Rob Gross, whose last two opponents have each failed to clear the 70-point barrier.
Week Three Recap
Pulley def. Allen, 100.96-86.43:
Pulley removes the zero in his win column thanks primarily to the wild game in Oakland. Against the Raiders, Mike Wallace and Antonio Brown put up 22.50 and 15.60 points, while Brandon Myers scored 7.33 for the silver-and-black, which is fantastic for an emergency tight end pickup. Allen had only three guys reach double figures (Brees (17.90), Welker (18.93), and Brandon Lloyd (14.40)), which is why he fell to 1-2 on the year.
Mike R. def. Kevin, 115.57-75.79:
The battle of undefeated teams was a complete dud, as Mike had control the whole way. He capitalized on Torrey Smith's (28.93) dramatic night, and strong weeks from his kicker (Gostkowski, 13.00) and defense (Chicago, 23.00) propelled him to victory. Kevin was hurt by his RBs, as Peyton Hillis and David Wilson combined for 1.30 points.
Rob def. Pat, 71.75-64.41:
This game had five double-digit scorers, with Heath Miller (20.00) and Ray Rice (22.63) leading the way for Rob and Pat, respectively. The less said about the rest of this matchup, the better.
Rabbit def. Richie, 114.48-84.99:
With QBs Tony Romo (4.12) and Philip Rivers (3.85) having off days, this one came down to whose supporting cast had a better game. And while Richie's can hardly be called a disappointment - with good games from Andre Johnson, Miles Austin, and Jacquizz Rodgers - Rabbit's stole the show. A.J. Green led the way with 31.50 points, and Maurice Jones-Drew wasn't far behind with 25.83, improving Rabs to 3-0 on the year.
Matt def. Babel, 138.49-76.91:
Babel took his beating at the hands of Jamaal Charles (36.63) and company like a gentleman. Calvin Johnson scored 27.87 for Mark, who got little else from his team. Matt saw only two players fail to hit the ten-point mark in this complete domination.
Ed def. Derrek, 125.00-91.61:
I finally played the right QB, as Ben Roethlisberger put up a huge 35.00 points. Andre Brown added 25.57 on Thursday night. Derrek took a zero from Kevin Smith, but otherwise had a good week, with Larry Fitzgerald pacing his team with 21.20 points.
Dave def. Schertz, 77.96-59.80:
Come on, Michael. You lost to Dave, now. And nearly a third of Dave's points came from his defense (Arizona, 24.00).
Current Standings
Mike R., 3-0, 336.38
Rabbit, 3-0, 334.31
Matt, 2-1, 354.89
Ed, 2-1, 299.52
Dave, 2-1, 291.84
Kevin, 2-1, 286.42
Rob, 2-1, 246.65
Allen, 1-2, 315.91
Pulley, 1-2, 280.25
Richie, 1-2, 273.33
Derrek, 1-2, 270.24
Babel, 1-2, 262.26
Pat, 0-3, 272.98
Schertz, 0-3, 236.53
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Matt couldn't quite best Allen's score last week, but his does take this week's award with 138.49 points.
Slapped Heartbeat: Schertz's 59.80-point game is enough to give this to him for the second week out of three.
Weekly MVP: Jamaal Charles scored 36.63 points for Matt.
Weekly Dud: Justin Blackmon's 0.93 was a major contributor to Schertz's poor showing.
Pickup of the Week: Andre Brown cleared waivers and wound up on Ed's team, putting up 25.57 points.
Start of the Week: Rob chose to play Heath Miller as his flex and was rewarded with a cool 20.00 points.
Misplay of the Week: Pat couldn't get Ramses Barden into his lineup in time, and it cost him 18.40 points in a close contest. (A special mention has to go to Derrek for sitting Adrian Peterson (11.40) for Kevin Smith (0.00), even though it didn't cost him in his game.)
Week Four Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Camp Hope (Pat, 0-3, 13th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-3, 14th):
All-time series tied, 0-0.
Well, there will be no better week for Schertz to get his first Blingaleague victory, as he faces fellow winless-on-the-year Pat. Which one will get the win and keep their slim playoff hopes alive?
Eli Manning has been a beast for Schertz, but has to face a strong Eagles defense this week. Meanwhile, Pat will have to choose between the shaky Jay Cutler and the partially-earless Matt Schaub (I'm very glad I got to put the term "partially-earless" in writing).
While neither has a super-promising QB situation, the top two overall picks - Ray Rice (Pat, vs. CLE) and LeSean McCoy (Schertz, vs. NYG) - will be squaring off. It's not as sexy as Luck vs. RGIII, but it could give us an exciting match.
Pick: Camp Hope.
Other Blingamatches
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 3-0, 2nd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-1, 6th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 3-1.
Kevin's reward for his 2-0 start was to face the other undefeated teams in successive weeks. Last week he got blown out by Mike, and this week he goes up against Rabbit's dynastic squad. Kevin's Tom Brady (@BUF) gets a much better matchup this week, but stud WR Victor Cruz's (@PHI) balances that out a little. Rabs will look for Arian Foster (vs. TEN) and A.J. Green (@JAC) to continue their A+ seasons.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Bernard's Bullies (Mike R., 3-0, 1st) vs. Artifish Inteligents (Babel, 1-2, 12th):
Babel leads all-time series, 3-2.
Mike's got quite a season going, so far, but we've seen him look like the team to beat after three weeks before. He has to like his chances to continue his run, though, with Matt Ryan and Tony Gonzalez facing a Carolina team that the Giants lit up last Thursday. His weak RB stable has to be a concern, but for now, he'll try to ride the wave his WRs are supplying. Babel has to hope Michael Vick gets his shit together against the Giants, and that Calvin Johnson has a big game against a Vikings team that has looked fairly impressive so far. His RBs are a tad stronger than Mike's, but not exactly the stuff poems are written about.
Pick: Bernard's Bullies.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-1, 3rd) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-2, 10th):
All-time series tied, 0-0.
Just 51 weeks ago, Richie was giving a best man speech at Matt's wedding. This week, Matt will be decked out in a tux to watch Richie get married. And while they'll be friendly on the outside, they will be full of loathing on the inside, as this is a big game for both of them. Matt could use a second-straight big week to put himself in good position four weeks in, and Richie needs to get a win to keep pace with a deep league.
Pick: DICK ARMOUR.
Half of a Horse (Ed, 2-1, 4th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-2, 9th):
Ed leads all-time series, 3-1.
Now that I have healthy running backs - and a shiny new WR to play with, thanks to Dave - my team looks a good deal stronger than it used to. And for Pulley, it's a bad week to face a strong-looking team, with both his Steeler WRs on bye and Matthew Stafford (vs. MIN) nursing an injury. I'll be hoping that Greg Jennings and Marques Colston put up big numbers against each other, and that the Cowboys defense can take advantage of the Bears and their sackable QB.
Pick: Half of a Horse.
DumbFace 4 President (Dave, 2-1, 5th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-2, 11th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 3-1.
The good news for Dave: he's currently in playoff position, and now he has a startable RB and TE. The bad news: he lost his top WR to get those, and Cam Newton (@ATL) looks very human so far. Derrek, meanwhile, will send out excellent duos at both RB - Darren McFadden (@DEN) and Adrian Peterson (@DET) - and WR - Larry Fitzgerald (vs. MIA) and Percy Harvin (@DET).
Pick: D's Nuts.
Location Nouns (Rob, 2-1, 7th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 1-2, 8th):
Allen leads all-time series, 3-2.
Thanks to a favorable schedule and despite his two best players, Aaron Rodgers (vs. NO) and Rob Gronkowski (@BUF), being mostly dud-ish so far, Rob has won two games. Allen's team is led by Drew Brees (@GB), who has put up good fantasy numbers despite the Saints' collapse. This week, their two QBs look to cancel each other out, and I like the rest of Allen's team more.
Pick: Optimus Prime.
Trade Recap
Trade between Ed and Dave.
Ed receives: Marques Colston (WR, Saints) and Scott Chandler (TE, Bills).
Dave receives: Andre Brown (RB, Giants) and Martellus Bennett (TE, Giants).
Sunday Huddle
This past week, a few of us hung out at my place, watched football, ate chili, and had a generally blingums time. All while Richie texted us frequently from his own house, just ten minutes away. And though I can't host a Huddle this week, I will surely be looking to pick it up again next week, so keep your Sunday free if you want to be a part of it!
Closing Thoughts
Congratulations to Richie, who marries the lovely Kim this upcoming Saturday!
Eddo