The Sanderson Gazette - 2012-10-03 - Move Over, D

Mike R. and Rabbit each sit at 4-0 right now. Surprisingly, only one other guy has done this: Derrek, in 2010.

The bad news? D went on to lose six of his last nine games, just barely making the playoffs.

The good news? He did take third place overall.

Week Four Recap

Derrek def. Dave, 98.01-92.45:

Speaking of Derrek, he escaped with a narrow victory this week thanks primarily to his defense. I know what all you bitches are thinking: will the Texans defense get him 200 points this year? D's receivers (Dez Bryant, 16.00; Larry Fitzgerald, 14.53; Percy Harvin, 10.13) overcame a rough day for his QB (Alex Smith, 6.35). On the other side, Dave lost a winnable game thanks to some poor decisions (more on this later).

Allen def. Rob, 131.94-101.92:

Rob can truly be called unlucky this week, as he broke 90 for the first time this year, and still lost. Lady Luck's influence on Allen has been nonexistent - he's scored more than 130 points in each of his wins and less than 90 in each of his losses. As for this actual game? QBs Aaron Rodgers (31.25) and Drew Brees (32.30) canceled each other out, so Allen won this game on the legs of his RBs: Marshawn Lynch (22.73), Willis McGahee (20.27), and DeAngelo Williams (11.17).

Rabbit def. Kevin, 134.65-103.90:

Rabbit's RBs had a relatively weak week, and yet he still put up 134.65 points. He can thank Mr. Roddy White and his 34.53 points for that one, along with A.J. Green and his 21.60. Kev is another tough-luck loser, failing to outscore Rabs despite 34.40 points from Tom Brady and a quite solid 28.00 combined from his kicker (Matt Prater) and defense (Baltimore).

Mike R. def. Babel, 136.87-97.12:

Mike improves to 4-0 thanks to a solid all-around effort from his whole roster. His low scorer was Tony Gonzalez, with 6.80 points, and his high scorer was the Chicago defense, with 24.00 points. That's called balance, folks. Babel wasted a huge game from Michael Turner (25.37) in this loss.

Ed def. Pulley, 113.30-92.75:

Heading into the Monday night game, I needed roughly 18 points to overtake Pulley. Brandon Marshall scored 24.40 on his own. New acquisition Marques Colston (26.40) was my high scorer on the day. Pulley got a enormous game from the 49ers defense (32.00) thanks to two defensive scores and a shutout, but couldn't quite close the deal.

Matt def. Richie, 126.10-63.96:

Richie's team sure crapped the bed this week, as exemplified by the Jets defense's robust -2.00. Matt, who currently leads the league in scoring, had another strong week, with Peyton Manning exploding for 28.80 points and Jamaal Charles adding 20.27.

Pat def. Schertz, 65.51-57.72:

I make you guys the Game of the Blingaweek, and you respond with this garbage?

Current Standings

  1. Mike R., 4-0, 473.25

  2. Rabbit, 4-0, 468.96

  3. Matt, 3-1, 480.99

  4. Ed, 3-1, 412.82

  5. Allen, 2-2, 447.85

  6. Kevin, 2-2, 390.32

  7. Dave, 2-2, 384.29

  8. Derrek, 2-2, 368.25

  9. Rob, 2-2, 348.57

  10. Pulley, 1-3, 373.00

  11. Babel, 1-3, 358.08

  12. Pat, 1-3, 338.49

  13. Richie, 1-3, 337.29

  14. Schertz, 0-4, 294.25

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Mike R. takes home his second Team Blangums in four weeks, barely beating out two other 130-plus scorers with his 136.87.

Slapped Heartbeat: Schertz's 57.72-point game is enough to give this to him for the third week out of four.

Weekly MVP: Roddy White and the San Francisco defense had higher scores, but I'm going to give this to the Bears defense, whose 24.00 points propelled Mike R. to his come-from-behind Team Blangums.

Pickup of the Week: I get this for the second week in a row, as acquiring Marques Colston (26.40) via trade paid off handsomely.

Misplay of the Week: And then there's Dave. First, he traded the aforementioned Colston for Andre Brown and Martellus Bennett, who combined for 2.20 points. Second, he left DeSean Jackson (19.20) and Greg Olsen (17.87) on his bench, while Brown, Bennett, and C.J. Spiller (1.97) were in his lineup. Considering he lost by less than six points, any change would have earned him a win. Instead, he's still the same old DumbFace.

Week Five Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-0, 2nd) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-2, 5th):

All-time series tied, 2-2.

What's more surprising, that Rabs and Allen have split their all-time series, or that doesn't have any Team Blangums trophies to go along with his 4-0 start?

Rabbit has one of the strongest team cores I can recall, as he trots out Roddy White, A.J. Green, Arian Foster, and Maurice Jones-Drew on a weekly basis. Add in the up-and-down Tony Romo and the so-far-solid Alfred Morris, and it's quite expected that our defending champ is undefeated nearly a third of the way through the year.

Allen's been much less steady, but he does have the single highest score of the year, back in week two. Despite (or maybe partially due to) the Saints' 0-4 start, Drew Brees has been worthy of his first-round keeper slot. The rest of Allen's roster has been less consistent, but at least they've coordinated their good weeks well enough to get him two huge victories.

As for this week, Allen's got a shot an the upset, with Rabs having to play Kevin Kolb... but I'm not going to go against Mr. Warren until he gives me a reason to.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Other Blingamatches

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-1, 3rd) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-3, 10th):

Pulley leads all-time series, 3-1.

"I look forward to the Gazette's preview of the Harrison Hammers vss the Pittsburgh Steelers" - Matt Harrison.

Pulley's Steeler-heavy roster is going through a rough two-week stretch: a bye last week and against the Eagles stout defense this week. Meanwhile, Matt can compete with Rabbit for the most matchup-proof RBs in the league.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Half of a Horse (Ed, 3-1, 4th) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 2-2, 9th):

Ed leads all-time series, 4-2.

Like Allen, I've had two sub-90-point weeks mixed with two strong ones. The reason I have one more win? I played Allen during one of my down weeks. My team doesn't really have a glaring weakness, but it's not quite as imposing as the three in front of me. Meanwhile, Rob has several weaknesses, but also a few big strengths. And this week, I can easily see him capitalizing on those.

Pick: Location Nouns.

DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-3, 13th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-2, 6th):

All-time series tied, 0-0.

Richie has definitely shown the perils of being an expansion team (Schertz has too, but we'll get to that). Looking at his roster, it's not that he didn't draft well, it's moreso that not having at least one top-line player pre-loaded is holding him back. This week he faces Kevin, who started 2-0, but is certainly vulnerable. Kev does still have Tom Brady, though.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-2, 8th) vs. Artifish InteliGents (Babel, 1-3, 11th):

Babel leads all-time series, 3-1.

Neither D nor Babel can be very happy right now, as their rosters are not up to their usual standards. And to top it all off, they're both hit hard by byes this week. So at least one of them can get a crucial win - for D, it would put him in the thick of the playoff picture, and for Babel, it would keep his season alive - despite a potential low score.

Pick: Artifish InteliGents.

Bernard's Bullies (Mike R., 4-0, 1st) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-4, 14th):

All-time series tied, 0-0.

It's the Mike Bowl! And boy, does it look lopsided. Juju, while hurt by not having a keeper, also has unfortunately seen many of his picks flop completely. And his only real strength - QB - has a surplus of value (Eli Manning and Robert Griffin III). He'll need to make a fairly drastic move to turn this season around, or start looking towards next year. Meanwhile, Bernie - who has a history of strong starts - looks like the real thing.

Pick: Bernard's Bullies.

DumbFace 4 President (Dave, 2-2, 7th) vs. Camp Hope (Pat, 1-3, 12th):

Dave leads all-time series, 3-0.

Dave's got a competent team - and while that's not unprecedented, it's certainly not typical. And he's getting first-round pick Matt Forte back from injury, which can only help. Pat's team is trending downward, having scored in triple figures in weeks one and two, but below 70 that past two weeks, though he still might have the top fantasy player overall in Ray Rice.

Pick: DumbFace 4 President.

Sunday Huddle

There's no Sunday Huddle planned, but I'm always up for getting a crowd together, so if you're interested, speak up.

In the future, if anyone wants to go to DeKalb at some point this year to meet up with Mike R. on a Sunday, we can have a Weekend at Bernie's (note: I am not responsible for calling it that).

Closing Thoughts

In addition to congratulating Richie for now being married, I think we all need to recognize him for something else. After not making a single roster move back in the prehistoric Blingaleague days (2007), he has now successfully made roster moves while on his honeymoon. You've come a long way, friend.

EWG