The Sanderson Gazette - 2012-10-24 - A Blingaleague Divided
This year's division between the haves and the have-nots continues: five teams are 5-2 or better, while no one else even has four wins.
As a result of that latter point, with six weeks left in the regular season, no team is more than two games out of the sixth spot. And as Matt can tell you from experience, the sixth seed can certainly reach the Sanderson Cup final.
Week Seven Recap
Rabbit def. Rob, 99.42-98.12:
I'll get this fact out of the way: this was the sixteenth-closest score in Blingaleague history. Rob fell just one ten-yard garbage-time catch for Mikel LeShoure away from handing Rabs his first loss, but the undefeated one held on. Randall Cobb (25.77) and Arian Foster (22.47) drove Rabbit to victory, while Rob got great weeks from Rob Gronkowski (22.40) and Frank Gore (19.90) in defeat.
Mike R. def. Dave, 138.63-116.95:
If you're ever confused as to what a "tough loss" is, just look this game up. The Fultz Brothers had the second-highest total of the week - not even close to third - and still lost by twenty points. Mike R. continues his great season, finally getting a huge week from Chris Johnson (31.90). Vincent Jackson scored 34.80 for Dave, but left six points on the field when he got caught from behind.
Matt def. Allen, 95.14-80.58:
Only the equivalent of one passing yard separated Matt's Josh Freeman (32.90) from Allen's Drew Brees (32.95), so this game came down to the RB and WR positions. Matt got very little production (Kenny Britt, 4.00; Trent Richardson, 2.27; Mark Ingram, 2.10). Allen, somehow, was worse: Brandon Lloyd (0.80), LeGarrette Blount (-0.20), and DeAngelo Williams (0.40) combined for eight total yards.
Derrek def. Pat, 97.03-41.41:
This is a good microcosm of Derrek's Blingaleague history: he's good (nearly 100 points) and also lucky (his opponent barely cracks 40). This week, it was Adrian Peterson (22.10) and the Texans defense (22.00) leading the way for D, as usual. Pat's high scorer was Jay Cutler, with 9.90.
Babel def. Richie, 99.19-80.81:
Don't look now, but Babel is right back in the playoff hunt. He can thank Carson Palmer (20.30), filling in for Michael Vick, primarily, though his whole team put together a solid effort. Richie got 20.55 points from his own fill-in, Ryan Fitzpatrick, but dropped his sixth straight anyway.
Pulley def. Kevin, 75.89-58.66:
Pulley saw the best and worst of his recent trade with his mortal enemy. On the one hand, Aaron Rodgers put up a stellar 26.10 points. On the other, he had to start Michael Jenkins (0.93) and something called Baron Batch (0.40). The latter failings didn't matter, as Kevin got two big zeroes (Vernon Davis and Mario Manningham).
Ed def. Schertz, 93.96-71.53:
Schertz had two zeroes of his own (Golden Tate and Kyle Rudolph). His potential keepers look fine, though: Robert Griffin III scored 22.80 and Doug Martin scored 19.43. I was paced, once again, by my WRs Brandon Marshall (16.80), Marques Colston (15.73), and Reggie Wayne (9.73).
Current Standings
Rabbit, 7-0, 798.25
Mike R., 6-1, 826.62
Matt, 5-2, 777.63
Ed, 5-2, 746.08
Derrek, 5-2, 689.53
Allen, 3-4, 707.57
Babel, 3-4, 677.42
Dave, 3-4, 651.25
Kevin, 3-4, 628.68
Pat, 3-4, 592.26
Rob, 2-5, 666.70
Pulley, 2-5, 639.34
Richie, 1-6, 584.39
Schertz, 1-6, 547.57
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Mike R. gets his third Team Blangums of the year thanks to his 138.63 points.
Slapped Heartbeat: Pat's 41.41 is the second-lowest score in Blingaleague history.
Dud of the Week: Vernon Davis scored zero points for Kevin in a winnable game.
Start of the Week: Rabbit benched Santana Moss and his 18.93 points... and it earned him a victory. That's because Randall Cobb scored 25.77 in a starting slot.
Misplay of the Week: Kendall Wright scored 2.53 points for Rob. Either Heath Miller (15.07) or Domenik Hixon (4.27) would have given him enough to upset Rabs.
Week Eight Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Bernard's Bullies (Mike R., 6-1, 2nd) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-4, 6th):
Allen leads all-time series, 3-2.
Bernie's got a good team. He's gotten Team Blangums thrice and his only loss is to the 7-0 Rabbit. And he has more points than Rabs. He will make the playoffs for the first time ever.
This week he goes up against another current playoff team, albeit one who's barely hanging on. Allen's point total is enough to push him ahead of the four other 3-4 teams, but he is not in a position of strength. His RBs beyond Marshawn Lynch are shaky. Wes Welker is his only reliable WR. Drew Brees has really carried the load for his up-and-down team.
And if Chris Johnson stays hot, Mike R. has no real weaknesses. And Johnson plays the Colts this week.
Pick: Bernard's Bullies.
Other Blingamatches
DumbFace 4 President (Dave, 3-4, 8th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 7-0, 1st):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-1.
I'm surprised Dave has ever beaten Rabbit. Will #2 come this year? Well, Rabs has to lose at some point, and Arian Foster and A.J. Green are both on bye. But I'm sure the Fultz brothers - with Cam Newton up against the formidable Bears defense - will find a way to lose.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 5-2, 3rd) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 2-5, 11th):
Matt leads all-time series, 3-2.
Rob will be hoping that another of his RBs (Mikel LeShoure) has a good game against Seattle this week. Matt's QB (Peyton Manning) is playing against the Saints. Who do you think I'm picking?
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Artifish Inteligents (Babel, 3-4, 7th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 1-6, 14th):
All-time series tied, 0-0.
Babel's outlook wasn't so good two weeks ago, but he's now only looking up at Allen for the sixth playoff spot. Now, with Michael Vick back, he gets to play our current cellar-dweller. And I can't pick in favor of a guy who had two lineup zeroes last week.
Pick: Artifish Inteligents.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-4, 9th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 5-2, 5th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 4-0.
Kevin's 2-0 start has spiralled out of control. And right now, Derrek is having a tough loss of a season: five wins, but only in fifth. I said before I won't pick someone who had two zeroes last week, and I will remain consistent.
Pick: D's Nuts.
Half of a Horse (Ed, 5-2, 4th) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-6, 13th):
All-time series tied, 0-0.
I'm another one of the "haves". Richie is not. And now he's focusing on finding keepers. Will anyone oblige him?
Pick: Half of a Horse.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-5, 12th) vs. Our Doug is a white (Pat, 3-4, 10th):
Pulley leads all-time series, 2-1.
If neither you nor your opponent broke 80 points the week prior, you get the last preview. Pat's team looked like it had playoff potential, but now his sliding down the standings. And with Ray Rice and Anquan Boldin on their bye weeks, and with Pulley having Aaron Rodgers against the Jaguars, I don't see Pat turning around his season this week.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Sunday Huddle
No Sunday Huddle at my place this week, as I'll be watching the Bears tear Cam Newton a new one at Soldier Field.
Closing Thoughts
This year has been the exact opposite of last year, when everyone was tightly bunched. One similarity, though, is that everyone is still very much alive for the playoffs. Even the expansion teams are only two games behind Allen for the final spot - a three-game winning streak is not out of the question, and would be huge for anyone's playoff hopes.
Eddie