The Sanderson Gazette - 2012-10-31 - Do the Move with the Quirky Jerk

Quite the week this week - our lone undefeated team goes down, we see one of the closest final scores in league history, and Dave puts himself into playoff position!

Week Eight Recap

Matt def. Rob, 119.38-118.64:

Emotions ran high, as these two were in close contact at the Bears game all day. Rob knew he had to build up a big lead before Matt's Broncos and Saints played at night, and his team obliged. Of course, Matt surged ahead anyway. Going into Monday night, Rob needed a mere 7.72 points from Frank Gore. Gore scored 6.97. The 0.74 margin-of-victory is the eighth-lowest in Blingaleague history.

Dave def. Rabbit, 74.62-67.22:

Rabs missed Arian Foster like crazy, as his two RBs combined for less than eleven points (Alfred Morris, 5.90; LaRod Stephens-Howling, 4.87). Dave didn't have a good week either, but 16.20 from Matt Forte, 13.37 from Darren Sproles, and 14.00 from Sebastian Janikowski were enough for him to spring a monumental upset.

Mike R. def. Allen, 119.41-106.44:

If Chris Johnson (12.30) can keep giving Mike these OK games, he'll remain the favorite to hoist the Sanderson Cup come December. Thanks to the usual big games from Matt Ryan (24.90) and Demaryius Thomas (24.27), he earned another big win. Allen got 20.60 from Willis McGahee, but had to settle for a tough loss.

Schertz def. Babel, 104.38-61.65:

Look who got his second win! Mike's first two draft picks, LeSean McCoy (19.43) and Doug Martin (36.03) had huge games, but he didn't really need them. Babel crashed and burned this week, with only Michael Crabtree (22.40) giving him anything notable. Losing to Juju is not the way to keep pace with other playoff contenders.

Derrek def. Kevin, 109.75-75.73:

Another week, another win for D. Six of his nine starters reached double figures, and kicker Lawrence Tynes led the way with 19.00. Kevin got a big game from Tom Brady (31.50), but not much else.

Ed def. Richie, 107.10-84.13:

Not a particularly bad week for Richie, who got a whopping 22.27 from Jason Witten, but not a very good one, either. I was paced by Ben Roethlisberger (23.70) and the Giants defense (21.00).

Pulley def. Pat, 103.07-67.19:

Julio Jones was huge for Adam, putting up 23.30 points and leading a solid week across the board for his owner. Only Aaron Rodgers (13.70) can really be called a disappointment. On the other side, Pat turned in his second straight ugly week, with his own QB (Jay Cutler, 1.70) being a colossal wreck.

Current Standings

  1. Mike R., 7-1, 946.03

  2. Rabbit, 7-1, 865.47

  3. Matt, 6-2, 896.41

  4. Ed, 6-2, 853.18

  5. Derrek, 6-2, 799.28

  6. Dave, 4-4, 725.87

  7. Allen, 3-5, 814.01

  8. Pulley, 3-5, 742.41

  9. Babel, 3-5, 739.07

  10. Kevin, 3-5, 704.41

  11. Pat, 3-5, 659.45

  12. Rob, 2-6, 785.34

  13. Schertz, 2-6, 651.95

  14. Richie, 1-7, 668.52

Playoff Scenarios

Mike R. clinches a playoff berth with:

a win AND a Dave loss AND a Pulley loss AND a Babel loss AND a Kevin loss AND a Pat loss.

Rabbit clinches a playoff berth with:

a win AND a Dave loss AND a Pulley loss AND a Babel loss AND a Kevin loss AND a Pat loss.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Mike R. gets his second Team Blangums in a row - and fourth of the year - with 119.41 points.

Slapped Heartbeat: Prior to Michael Crabtree's Monday night explosion, Babel was in position to challenge the lowest score of all time. As it is, he still only scored 61.65.

MVP of the Week: Doug Martin scored a phenomenal 36.03 points for Schertz. Juju has to be psyched for his keeper potential.

Dud of the Week: The Vikings defense put up -6.00 for Babel. Combined with the MVP above (and Kyle Rudolph), this led to a ridiculous 38-to-negative-6 score following the Thursday night game.

Acquisition of the Week: At first glance, Matt's trading for Ahmad Bradshaw, who scored only 5.80 points, doesn't appear too hot. But Matt was able to play those points over Kenny Britt's 4.53, which gave him the win.

Misplay of the Week: Rob played Mikel LeShoure (5.80) and Antonio Brown (5.07), while Daniel Thomas (10.60) and Kendall Wright (12.27) sat on his bench.

Week Nine Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Bernard's Bullies (Mike R., 7-1, 1st) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 6-2, 5th):

Derrek leads all-time series, 3-2.

It's been a strange year. Derrek's 6-2, which is usually good for first place around now, but sits in fifth. These inflated records are due in large part to the five best teams having only played only five games between each other. Well, a sixth will happen this week.

Two of Mike's key players (Matt Ryan, vs. DAL; Demaryius Thomas, @CIN) have good-looking matchups. So does the Bears defense (@TEN). Of course, that last one means that Mike's "best" RB, Chris Johnson, has a bad one.

Derrek made the mistake of playing Christian Ponder over Alex Smith last week, and this week he has no choice but to play the Viking QB at Seattle. In fact, his Viking-heavy lineup has a big Seahawk problem. Is that enough to swing the game in Mike's favor?

Pick: Bernard's Bullies.

Other Blingamatches

Artifish Inteligents (Babel, 3-5, 9th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-5, 7th):

All-time series tied, 3-3.

These two are both very much alive for the playoffs now, but a loss here could be critical to their postseason hopes. Babel will be hoping the New Orleans defense is the cure for Michael Vick's troubles. Allen will be scrambling to cover for his Patriot WRs and his 49er kicker, who are all on bye.

Pick: Artifish Inteligents.

DumbFace 4 President (Dave, 4-4, 6th) vs. Location Nouns (Rob, 2-6, 12th):

Dave leads all-time series, 3-2.

Don't look now, but Dave's in playoff position. Is this the year he finally breaks through to play in week fourteen? Rob's resigned himself to playing spoiler for the rest of the year. Would it even be sweet to spoil Dave's possible moment in the sun?

Pick: DumbFace 4 President.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-5, 8th) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-7, 14th):

All-time series tied, 0-0.

These guys both have bye-week issues, both missing a RB and their defense (and in Richie's case, possibly what it finally takes to get him to give up on the Jets). Pulley's missing two RBs, though, which could balance out the fact that Philip Rivers is now a crappy QB.

Pick: DICK ARMOUR.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 7-1, 2nd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-6, 13th):

All-time series tied, 0-0.

This, my friends, is a mismatch.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Half of a Horse (Ed, 6-2, 4th) vs. Our Doug is a White (Pat, 3-5, 11th):

Ed leads all-time series, 3-0.

Pat desperately needs a win to keep his playoff hopes alive. I'm not sure he'll get his wish, though. My team is going strong and has some nice matchups this week. He'll need a big week from Ray Rice in Cleveland, which isn't really asking for that much...

Pick: Half of a Horse.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-2, 3rd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-5, 10th):

Kevin leads all-time series, 4-1.

I was quite surprised at the lopsided history on this one. Considering Kevin's QB (Tom Brady) and TE (Vernon Davis) are on bye, I think Matt pulls a bit closer.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Sunday Huddle

Nothing planned, but I'll be watching football all day Sunday. Anyone who wants to join in is more than welcome.

Closing Thoughts

Although the top of the league has a nice cushion on sixth place and lower, there are still seven more teams within two games of Dave for that final playoff slot. Really, almost no one is out of this yet.

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