The Sanderson Gazette - 2012-12-26 - Conclusive

In a true Blingaleague quirk, for the second straight year the #2 seed defeated the #6 in the Blingabowl, the #1 defeated the #4 in the third-place game, and the #5 defeated the #3 in the fifth-place game.

Blingabowl V Recap

Matt def. Babel, 128.58-112.87:

Like Matt last year, Babel's hot streak ended when up against the best possible opponent.

Matt Harrison won his second Sanderson Cup in four years thanks to a solid overall effort. More specifically, thanks to Peyton Manning. Matt took a chance on Manning's health, loading up on running backs and wide receivers early. And the living legend rewarded Matt handsomely. Manning was great all year, and the players Matt snagged in lieu of a sure-thing stud QB - Jamaal Charles and Trent Richardson - had great years. Charles led the way in Blingabowl V with 27.13 points.

Our 2012 runner-up, Mark Babel, has no reason to hang his head. He came quite close to upsetting his fourth high-quality opponent in four weeks, thanks to Calvin Johnson's 28.00 and the Cincinnati defense's 20.00 (has there been a better defensive pickup ever?).

All in all, this was a great season. Congratulations to both Blingabowl participants.

Third-Place Game

Rabbit def. Ed, 117.79-106.77:

Rabs finished in the money for the fourth straight year with a strong week. Roddy White led the way for the victor with 32.40 points.

Yearly Awards

Team Blangums: Matt led the league in total points and now has claim to Sandy. There can be no doubt about the legitimacy of this championship. (Honorable mentions: Rabbit, Mike R.)

Slapped Heartbeat: Richie's season-ending twelve-game losing streak makes this a fairly obvious choice. (Honorable mention: Pat.)

Yearly MVP: Peyton Manning was only fourth among QBs, but his consistency and low draft cost make him the winner. (Honorable mentions: Calvin Johnson, Matt Ryan, Adrian Peterson.)

Dud of the Year: Chris Johnson was the fourth overall pick, but did mostly nothing. (Honorable mentions: Greg Jennings, Maurice Jones-Drew, Larry Fitzgerald.)

Season Postmortems

(To clarify something: "Expected wins" is not my attempt to predict next year. Rather, it's me looking back at this past year, on a week-by-week scoring basis, and using history to figure out how many games a team "should" have won.)

Matt Harrison (Harrison Hammers, 13-2, 1st):

Matt has absolutely nothing to complain about. Jimmy Graham was a little disappointing, due to injury, but Matt can keep him for a seventh next year. And he also has Jamaal Charles (1st), Trent Richardson (2nd), Peyton Manning (4th), and Eric Decker (5th) as options.

Expected wins: 9.593 (regular season).

Mark Babel (Artifish Inteligents, 8-8, 2nd):

A lot has been said about Babel's magical playoff run, so I won't rehash too much. I will leave it at this: heading into week thirteen, Babel was 5-7 and in eighth place, coming off an 84-point effort in a loss to Pat.

Expected wins: 6.123 (regular season).

Blingapower Rankings

(Overall records include regular-season games only.)

14. Richie Armour (last year: N/A)

  • Overall record: 1-12 (.077)

  • Yearly finishes: 14th (2012)

It was a tough expansion year for Richie. He did win his first game, against a Blingaleague franchise that some really love to hate (Rob), but then was flat-out bad. It's much like another expansion team, who beat the Cowboys in their inaugural contest...

NFL equivalent: the 2002 Houston Texans.

13. Pat Gawne (last year: 11th)

  • Overall record: 19-33 (.365)

  • Yearly finishes: 8th (2009), 11th (2011, 2012), 12th (2010)

We make fun of Dave, but Pat's track record is actually a little worse, as he's only flirted with the playoffs once. Pat's teams tend to look a little better heading into the season, but he never seems to capitalize.

NFL equivalent: just like last year, the Oakland Raiders.

12. Dave Fultz (last year: 12th)

  • Overall record: 24-41 (.369)

  • Yearly finishes: 7th (2012), 8th (2010), 11th (2008, 2009), 12th (2011)

Dave just can't get over the hump and into the playoffs, even though he's had some decent seasons. Overall, he's still not running a good franchise, but he does seem to be improving.

NFL equivalent: the Miami Dolphins, which are an upgrade from being the Browns.

11. Mike Schertz (last year: N/A)

  • Overall record: 5-8 (.385)

  • Yearly finishes: 9th (2012)

Mike's expansion year started out rough, but he worked his way to a respectable finish and could be a legitimate contender as soon as next year.

NFL equivalent: the 1995 Carolina Panthers, who went 7-9 and reached the NFC championship the very next year.

10. Kevin Pattermann (last year: 9th)

  • Overall record: 30-35 (.462)

  • Yearly finishes: 5th (2009), 6th (2008), 8th (2011), 10th (2010, 2012)

A few years ago, Kevin was a good bet to reach the playoffs. He's really fallen off the past few years, though.

NFL equivalent: San Diego Chargers (last year: Cincinnati).

9. Mike Romor (last year: 10th)

  • Overall record: 31-34 (.477)

  • Yearly finishes: 6th (2012), 8th (2008), 9th (2011), 10th (2009), 11th (2010)

Mike R. was an annual disappointment, but he finally broke through with a great regular season this year. His playoff flameout was extremely disappointing, though.

NFL equivalent: the Detroit Lions (unlike last year's equivalent, the Bills, Mike now has a playoff appearance under his belt).

8. Adam Pulley (last year: 5th)

  • Overall record: 28-37 (.431)

  • Yearly finishes: 1st (2008), 5th (2010), 10th (2011), 12th (2009, 2012)

Boy, that Blingabowl I championship seems like an eternity ago, doesn't it?

NFL equivalent: the St. Louis Rams (last year's choice, the Buccaneers, could also apply).

7. Rob Gross (last year: 4th)

  • Overall record: 33-32 (.508)

  • Yearly finishes: 2nd (2008), 4th (2009, 2011), 7th (2010), 13th (2012)

Like Pulley, Rob drops three spots after an awful 2012. He's had more overall success than his great rival since 2008, though.

NFL equivalent: Tennesse Titans (last year: San Diego).

6. Allen Clark (last year: 8th)

  • Overall record: 34-31 (.523)

  • Yearly finishes: 4th (2010), 5th (2008, 2011), 7th (2009), 8th (2012)

Allen's been a consistent playoff contender, if not a top team. He doesn't always make the playoffs, but he's also not a truly bad team when he misses.

NFL equivalent: the Chicago Bears (last year: the Titans).

5. Mark Babel (last year: 7th)

  • Overall record: 37-28 (.569)

  • Yearly finishes: 2nd (2012), 4th (2008), 6th (2010), 7th (2011), 9th (2009)

Somewhat surprisingly, Babel has the third-best regular-season record in Blingaleague history. This year, he went on a magical run that included an upset of a historically great franchise.

NFL equivalent: the Denver Broncos, who have one of the best records in the NFL over the past ten years, plus a dash of Tebow/Manning magic (last year: Dallas).

4. Derrek Drenckpohl (last year: 6th)

  • Overall record: 36-29 (.554)

  • Yearly finishes: 3rd (2009, 2010), 5th (2012), 6th (2011), 7th (2008)

Another year, another playoff appearance.

NFL equivalent: the Cincinnati Bengals, who have made the playoffs three of the past four years (last year: NYJ).

3. Ed Gross (last year: 2nd)

  • Overall record: 39-26 (.600)

  • Yearly finishes: 2nd (2010), 3rd (2008, 2011), 4th (2012), 6th (2009)

In a long-term sense, Derrek and I are pretty similar, albeit I've had just a touch more success.

NFL equivalent: still the Baltimore Ravens.

2. Matt Harrison (last year: 3rd)

  • Overall record: 35-30 (.538)

  • Yearly finishes: 1st (2009, 2012), 2nd (2011), 9th (2010), 12th (2008)

Matt's either had great playoff runs or been on the outside looking in. He also has multiple championships.

NFL equivalent: the New York Giants (last year: Arizona).

1. Nick "Rabbit" Warren (last year: 1st)

  • Overall record: 46-19 (.708)

  • Yearly finishes: 1st (2010, 2011), 2nd (2009), 3rd (2012), 9th (2008)

Just because he doesn't win the championship ever year, it doesn't mean Rabs doesn't run the premier Blingaleague franchise.

NFL equivalent: New England Patriots, like last year.

Draft Lottery

The odds for getting the #1 overall pick are:

Richie: 27.75%

Rob: 17.53%

Pulley: 14.14%

Pat: 11.04%

Kevin: 10.13%

Schertz: 9.54%

Allen: 4.96%

Dave: 4.9%

Sunday Huddle

The Blingaseason may be over, but this week still has a good-looking slate of games. Anyone who's up for hanging out, let me know.

Closing Thoughts

Merry belated Christmas and Happy New Year to all!

Ed