The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-09-03 - Be Prepared

Lo, the season is upon us!

Week One Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Limited Characters (Babel) vs. San Jose Sharknados (Mike R.):

Babel leads all-time series, 4-3.

Mike "Bernie" Romor looks for revenge against the man who ended his 2012 season, Mark "Babel" Babel.

Both these guys waited on QBs, with Babel relying on Ben Roethlisberger against the Titans and Mike starting Eli Manning against Dallas. Neither excites me.

Babel's strength lies in his #1 keeper, Calvin Johnson (vs. MIN) and his solid RBs (Frank Gore, vs. GB; Ryan Mathews, vs. HOU) and TE (Tony Gonzalez, @NO). Mike's got a solid all-around receiving corps (Demaryius Thomas, vs. BAL; Jordy Nelson, @SF; DeSean Jackson, @WAS), but only one truly formidable RB (Maurice Jones-Drew, vs. KC).

This looks to be a tight game, and I think we'll see a repeat of last December.

Pick: Limited Characters.

Other Blingamatches

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin):

Pulley leads all-time series, 5-2.

I was surprised the all-time series was so lopsided here; it's not like Pulley is a perennial powerhouse or Kevin never sniffs the playoffs. With that said, this is, to be simple, a matchup of RBs vs. WRs. Pulley's pass catchers (Andre Johnson, @SD; Julio Jones, @NO; Wes Welker, vs. BAL) look great, but can they outscore Kevin's RBs (Alfred Morris, vs. PHI; Marshawn Lynch, @CAR; Reggie Bush, vs. MIN)? Pulley has a strong-looking roster, but I prefer Kevin's.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Vinegar Strokes (Pat) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek):

Derrek leads all-time series, 3-1.

Is this the year Pat breaks through to the playoffs? And will D miss them for the first time since Year One? To be honest, I'm not as impressed with either of these lineups as the previous matchup. Even though Derrek as Adrian Peterson (@DET), I like Pat's RBs (Arian Foster, @SD; Eddie Lacy, @SF) a little better, on the whole, so I'll use that to make my pick.

Pick: Vinegar Strokes.

DumbFace 4 President (Dave) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-2.

Has Dave really beaten Rabbit twice? Weird. Like Pat, Dave's looking for his first playoff berth. And like Derrek, Rabs has made it every year except for 2008. This specific matchup might come down to QBs, and I like Dave's (Cam Newton, vs. SEA) a little better than Nick's (Matthew Stafford, vs. MIN).

Pick: DumbFace 4 President.

THRILLHO (Rob) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz):

Schertz leads all-time series, 1-0.

Rob bolstered his RBs via a trade that our Mom arbitrated, leading to this matchup of stellar backs. C.J. Spiller (vs. NE) and Ray Rice (@DEN) probably cancel out Matt Forte (vs. CIN) and Doug Martin (@NYJ), so this comes down to other positions. These WRs lineups are just OK, so I'll go with the better QB. And that's Rob's Peyton Manning (vs. BAL).

Pick: THRILLHO.

Half of a Horse (Ed) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt):

Matt leads all-time series, 6-2.

I'm not loving my team this year, so you can imagine how I felt before jettisoning Mike Wallace for Brandon Marshall (while downgrading at RB). And I get to face the defending champ in week one? Ouch. Matt's team doesn't look as good as last year's version, but it should be enough to shrug me off.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

DICK ARMOUR (Richie) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen):

Allen leads all-time series, 1-0.

Richie built a team without any glaring holes. Allen's best RB is DeAngelo Williams. This pick seems too easy...

Pick: DICK ARMOUR.

Some Other Predictions

Four also-rans from 2012 - Kevin, Richie, Schertz, and Pulley - might have the four strongest post-draft lineups. At least two will make the playoffs.

I will miss the playoffs for the first time ever (though Vick Ballard will outscore Ahmad Bradshaw on the season).

How about the second-year starting QBs? Luck will be better than last year; Griffin will be about the same; Kaepernick and Wilson will be a little bit worse, but still pretty good.

Matt will make a trade for a RB mid-season, to avoid missing the playoffs the year after winning the Sanderson Cup.

Sandy will have a first-time owner sixteen weeks from now.

League Dues

For those of you who haven't paid me, please send $40 to 3514 N. Leavitt, Chicago, IL 60618 as soon as you can.

And remember, the extra $10 each will go towards weekly payouts for Team Blangums.

Closing Thoughts

Good luck to everyone, and let's have another Blingums year!

Ed