The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-09-18 - Historical Blangums

This past week was the eleventh-highest scoring of all-time (and an error from last week's Gazette: week one was the third-highest scoring of all-time).

In addition, we now have the three highest point totals ever after two weeks.

And there's even more history, keep reading!

Week Two Recap

Matt def. Kevin, 171.54-151.29:

Wow. Matt's score is the second-highest of all-time. And Kevin's is the fourteenth-highest ever! Mark Ingram's 2.00 couldn't offset th rest of Matt's roster, which featured five players over 20. Kevin got 32.73 from Marshawn Lynch and 36.43 from Michael Vick, and really didn't have any disappointments, either.

Pulley def. Mike R., 136.95-105.22:

So how did Pulley follow up his Team Blangums? With another outstanding week! Julio Jones paced the MondoSquad with 30.27 points. DeSean Jackson had 31.73 for Mike, but it was th bottom of the roster that did him in. He had three players (Maurice Jones-Drew, 2.83; Kellen Winslow, 2.13; Justin Tucker, 0.00) score less than Pulley's lowest (Rob Bironas, 6.00).

Allen def. Rabbit, 102.44-92.60:

Aaron Rodgers's 35.70 points led the way for Dr. Clark as he upset Rabs. He also got help from the Bears defense, which put up 12.00. Rabbit was led by Randall Cobb's 23.07, but done in by Stevan Ridley's 4.00 and Jared Cook's 1.33.

Richie def. Rob, 83.55-73.85:

Every single player on Richie's roster underperformed Yahoo's expectations, except for Greg Olsen (17.20). And Richie still won. Rob got over-performances from Peyton Manning (23.05) and Julius Thomas (12.27), but also fell short of expectations.

Schertz def. Babel, 124.54-81.97:

Schertz's leading scorer was the Seahawks defense, with 24.00 points, but it was mostly a balanced effort, with everyone else coming in between 7.00 (Matt Bryant) and 21.60 (DeAndre Hopkins). Babel wasted a 27.47-point week from Calvin Johnson, mostly thanks to his other two WRs (Lance Moore, 2.00; Anquan Boldin, 0.93).

Ed def. Derrek, 104.24-68.08:

I was paced by both the usual suspects, Matt Ryan (24.70) and Brandon Marshall (21.07), and the unusual, Knowshon Moreno (23.17). Derrek was undone by Colin Kapernick (4.05) and Vernon Davis (2.67).

Pat def. Dave, 91.19-70.28:

The other J. Jones - James - scored 21.73 points for Pat. That was really the only notable player in this game.

Current Standings

  1. Pulley, 2-0, 278.25

  2. Schertz, 2-0, 237.41

  3. Ed, 2-0, 214.91

  4. Allen, 2-0, 207.85

  5. Matt, 1-1, 256.92

  6. Mike R., 1-1, 240.59

  7. Rabbit, 1-1, 228.75

  8. Derrek, 1-1, 199.52

  9. Pat, 1-1, 182.90

  10. Richie, 1-1, 170.86

  11. Kevin, 0-2, 270.24

  12. Babel, 0-2, 179.48

  13. Rob, 0-2, 179.46

  14. Dave, 0-2, 168.02

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Matt, 171.54.

Slapped Heartbeat: Derrek's 68.08 is good for a slappin'.

Weekly MVP: Aaron Rodgers put up 35.70 points in a close win for Allen.

Start of the Week: Allen chose to play Ahmad Bradshaw (15.03) over Denarius Moore (0.00.).

Pickup of the Week: Ed traded for Knowshon Moreno, who scored 23.17.

Week Three Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-0, 1st) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-0, 2nd):

Schertz leads all-time series, 1-0.

Pulley's total is the higest ever after two weeks. And not by a little, either. The previous high? Dave's 252.27 in 2010. Let that sink in.

He's going up against Schertz this week, and it looks to be tough. Pulley's matchup at QB is not great, as Andrew Luck visits the 49ers (and his old college coach). Meanwhile, Schertz is starting Russell Wilson at home against Jacksonville.

Pulley definitely has the WR edge, though, with Julio Jones (@MIA), Andre Johnson (vs. BAL), and Wes Welker (vs. OAK).

Pick: schertzopotamus (he also has the Seahawks defense against the Jaguars, for God's sake).

Other Blingamatches

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-1, 5th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-0, 4th):

Matt leads all-time series, 3-2.

Matt's finally off the Mark Ingram train... but he's only playing Danny Woodhead (@TEN) instead. I'm not sure it's that big an improvement. Of course, Allen's RBs (DeAngelo Williams, vs. NYG; Montee Ball, vs. OAK; Ahmad Bradshaw, @SF) aren't exactly amazing.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-2, 11th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 0-2, 13th):

Rob leads all-time series, 5-2.

Let's talk about Kevin for a bit. His 270.24 is the second-highest total ever after two weeks. His two scores so far (118.95 and 151.29) would have gone 2-0 over 82% of the time, and 0-2 less than 1% of the time. Marshawn Lynch (vs. JAC) could have a gigantic week. But will Rob's team finally stop underperforming?

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

San Jose Sharknados (Mike R., 1-1, 6th) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-1, 10th):

Mike R. leads all-time series, 1-0.

Mike's been getting nearly all his production via the passing game; his WRs (Demaryius Thomas, vs. OAK; Jordy Nelson, @CIN; DeSean Jackson, vs. KC) and QB (Eli Manning, @CAR) have been quite good, at least fantasy-wise. Richie's gotten some lackluster performances from his studs, Tom Brady (vs. TB) and Trent Richardson (@SF). But he has to love that Richardson was traded to the Colts, despite his poor matchup this week.

Pick: DICK ARMOUR.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-1, 7th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-1, 8th):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 5-2.

I can't imagine either one of these two is phased by failing to go 2-0. But I also must imagine they both really want to right the ship this week. Rabs needs some actual production from his RBs, while Derrek could use a better week from Colin Kaepernick (vs. IND).

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Half of a Horse (Ed, 2-0, 3rd) vs. Coach Bombay's DD (Dave, 0-2, 14th):

Ed leads all-time series, 5-1.

I feel fortunate to be 2-0 right now, especially considering Knowshon Moreno (vs. OAK) might be my most reliable RB. Meanwhile, Dave's back in a familiar position: last place.

Pick: Half of a Horse.

Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 1-1, 9th) vs. Limited Characters (Babel, 0-2, 12th):

Pat leads all-time series, 3-1.

Babel can't have envisioned this rocky start, but his team doesn't look all that bad. Pat got an important win last week, and even snagged new (temporary?) Packers starting RB James Starks (@CIN) on the waiver wire.

Pick: Limited Characters.

League Dues

Yet another reminder - for those of you who haven't paid me, please send $40 to 3514 N. Leavitt, Chicago, IL 60618 as soon as you can.

And remember, the extra $10 each will go towards weekly payouts for Team Blangums.

(Special thanks to Pulley this week.)

Closing Thoughts

Let's keep this crazy season going. Also, anyone up for a Sunday Huddle this week? I'll gladly host.

Eddo