The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-10-09 - Put That In Your Gazette
Seven teams are 3-2.
Week Five Recap
Schertz def. Ed, 109.66-104.61:
Mike had an all-around solid week, as his high scorer, Sam Bradford, had only 21.50 points. He would have lost though, if only Knowshon Moreno (22.90) had scored a touchdown at the end of the Broncos-Cowboys game instead of getting stuffed (even though that was better for the Broncos actual chances).
Rob def. Dave, 167.43-108.89:
Peyton Manning (39.90) was a great autodraft, wasn't he? And Julius THomas (28.27) was the rare week one waiver wire wonder that has kept up the scoring. Dave's tough loss was led by Jason Witten (22.13) and Matt Prater (18.00).
Matt def. Pulley, 115.94-100.51:
Matt stays in first place thanks to this win, with Dez Bryant (28.80) leading the way. Pulley's second loss in a row comes with even worse news, as Julio Jones (13.20) is likely out for the rest of the year.
Pat def. Allen, 118.50-81.37:
It was a good week for our autodrafters, indeed. Pat got 20.40 from Drew Brees and 22.93 from James Jones, and his low scorer (Michael Floyd) had a respectable 8.13. Allen improved from week four, thanks to Rueben Randle's surprise 24.80. But his RBs once again sucked, as Montee Ball and Michael Bush combined for 1.30.
Derrek def. Babel, 76.78-66.87:
D will take this win. Each of these guys had a RB score less than one point (Ryan Mathews (0.80) for Babel; Jonathan Franklin (0.10) for Derrek), and neither had a defense finish in the positive (Falcons (0.00) for Babel; Texans (-3.00) for Derrek).
Richie def. Kevin, 105.39-72.09:
Kevin's early-season run of tough losses has officially ended; now he's just losing because his team isn't performing. Meanwhile, Richie has four times as many wins in the past four weeks as he had in all of 2012. Break up DICK ARMOUR!
Mike R. def. Rabbit, 91.46-78.70:
It's weird seeing Rabs struggle like this. His top scorer was the Browns defense (17.00). Mike didn't have a great week, but got great games from DeSean Jackson (23.60) and his kicker, Justin Tucker (18.00).
Current Standings
Matt, 4-1, 626.26
Richie, 4-1, 491.17
Pulley, 3-2, 582.95
Ed, 3-2, 562,31
Rob, 3-2, 532.95
Schertz, 3-2, 525.04
Mike R., 3-2, 495.19
Pat, 3-2, 477.43
Derrek, 3-2, 462.18
Dave, 2-3, 537.15
Allen, 2-3, 446.99
Kevin, 1-4, 521.44
Rabbit, 1-4, 445.03
Babel, 0-5, 435.07
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Rob's 167.43 is the fourth-highest score in league history.
Slapped Heartbeat: Babel's 66.87 isn't historically significant, but it is pretty dang bad.
Weekly MVP: Peyton Manning is quite the QB guys. This week, he had another 39.90 points.
Weekly Dud: This is a tie between rookies Jonathan Franklin and Montee Ball, each of whom scored 0.10.
Misplay of the Week: I could have played Golden Tate (14.13) like I have been all year, but no - I played David Wilson and his 7.60. And lost by 5.05.
Week Six Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Half of a Horse (Ed, 3-2, 4th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 3-2, 5th):
Ed leads all-time series, 5-2.
The annual battle for our mother's love seems to favor Rob this go 'round - just look at the QBs.
Rob's been riding Peyton Manning (vs. JAC) all year. My usual starter, Matt Ryan, is on bye, and while Terrelle Pryor is an OK backup, his matchup (@KC) is not good.
I could sneak away with a win if the Broncos get an early lead and use Knowshon Moreno (vs. JAC) a ton, but that's probably wishing for a bit much.
Pick: THRILLHO.
Other Blingamatches
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-2, 3rd) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-2, 8th):
Pulley leads all-time series, 3-1.
Life without Julio begins for Pulley, as he faces off against fellow 3-2er Pat. The former has Andrew Luck at the pourous Chargers, while the latter has Drew Brees at the stout Patriots. Advantage Pulley?
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 4-1, 2nd) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 3-2, 9th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 1-0.
This is a matchup of disappointing QBs. Richie couldn't have imagined that Tom Brady (vs. NO) would fall off a cliff like this, and Derrek was expecting so much more from Colin Kaepernick (vs. ARI). And yet despite rocky QB numbers, both these teams are over .500.
Pick: DICK ARMOUR.
Coach Bombay's DD (Dave, 2-3, 10th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-2, 6th):
Dave leads all-time series, 1-0.
Both our expansion franchises are currently in playoff position. Dave's never made the playoffs, and has more points this year than either one, so his 2-3 record has to sting. Mike's got some injury and bye issues that leave him without a playable tight end as of press time. Will that be enough for the Fultz Brothers to stay undefeated against JuJu?
Pick: Coach Bombay's DD.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-1, 1st) vs. Limited Characters (Babel, 0-5, 14th):
Matt leads all-time series, 4-2.
I'm not sure that anyone foresaw this when looking ahead to the rematch of Blingabowl V. Matt's team picked up where it left off last season, despite having its heartbeat slapped in week one. On the other hand, Babel appears to have used up all his good fortune at the end of last year.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
San Jose Sharknados (Mike R., 3-2, 7th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-3, 11th):
All-time series tied, 3-3.
Bernie's team is part of the giant 3-2 logjam, and his Denver defense gets to play the Jaguars this week. Allen's still forced to play the MB duo (Montee Ball (vs. JAC) and Michael Bush (vs. NYG)) at RB.
Pick: San Jose Sharknados.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-4, 12th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-4, 13th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-1.
One of these teams will get their second win this week. Kevin's without Michael Vick and has Carson Palmer (@SF) slotted in his place. Rabs looks to have Rob Gronkowski (vs. NO) back, finally.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Closing Thoughts
A Bears-less Sunday is perfect for a Huddle. Anyone want to come by my place at watch NFL Red Zone all day?
Eddo