The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-10-16 - Caught in a Land Slide
This was the twelfth-lowest-scoring week in Blingaleague history. Well done, guys.
Week Six Recap
Mike R. def. Allen, 99.75-91.95:
Our closest game of the week went Bernie's way thanks to some rather interesting choices made by Doctor Clark (but more on that later). Mike got 21.07 from Jordy Nelson and 20.53 from DeSean Jackson. His RBs were bad, but Allen's were worse; Montee Ball (1.50) and Marcel Reece (1.20) combined for less than three points. And Brandon Myers had yet another zero for Allen, too.
Matt def. Babel, 87.61-74.97:
Matt may now be in sole possession of first place, but he didn't deserve to win this one. Only Jamaal Charles (26.47) and Robert Griffin III (13.00) broke the ten-point barrier for Matt. Babel had three guys with 10+, led by Andy Dalton's 25.55), but was doomed by two 3.73's (Anquan Boldin and Antonio Gates) and two 6.00's (Ryan Succop and the Bengals defense).
Derrek def. Richie, 78.90-69.18:
Derrek only had one double-digit scorer, but boy, was it a good one! Vernon Davis's 36.00 got him a win over Richie, whose high scorer was the 49ers defense (14.00). This was not a game either of these guys will want to remember for very long.
Ed def. Rob, 119.23-78.97:
Rob's first sub-par game from Peyton Manning (16.05, and yes, that's sub-par for him) really hurt him, though it's not like the rest of his team had a great week. I got twenty points from three guys, Knowshon Moreno (30.47), Brandon Marshall (23.60), and Larry Fitzgerald (20.00), which made up for Terrelle Pryor's (4.80) sack-filled afternoon.
Kevin def. Rabbit, 112.49-81.97:
At the end of this game, Kevin's playoff hopes were alive, while Rabbit's have been all but murdered. Kev got 30.10 from Marshawn Lynch and another 21.40 from Reggie Bush, but this one wasn't officially over until Keenan Allen put up 20.24 on Monday night for Kevin... and Eddie Royal scored only 0.40 for Rabs.
Pulley def. Pat, 109.89-95.53:
Andrew Luck (9.00) couldn't score enought to snag Pulley his second Team Blangums of the season, but the rest of the MondoSquad performed well enough to get an easy win. Justin Blackmon (25.33) has had two huge weeks for Pulley since he's come back from suspension. Pat had an OK week, but couldn't survive two 1.33's, from Brent Celek and James Jones.
Dave def. Schertz, 111.53-67.52:
Cam Newton (32.10) and the Chiefs defense (26.00) came through for the Fultz Brothers, despite Donnie Avery's -1.20. Schertz couldn't overcome 0.00 from Cecil Shorts, 0.10 from Danny Amendola, and 0.67 from Jermaine Gresham.
Current Standings
Matt, 5-1, 714.27
Pulley, 4-2, 692.84
Ed, 4-2, 681.54
Mike R., 4-2, 594.94
Richie, 4-2, 560.35
Derrek, 4-2, 541.08
Dave, 3-3, 648.68
Rob, 3-3, 611.92
Schertz, 3-3, 592.56
Pat, 3-3, 573.76
Kevin, 2-4, 633.93
Allen, 2-4, 537.94
Rabbit, 1-5, 527.00
Babel, 0-6, 620.00
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: My 119.23 is the lowest Team Blangums score since week five of 2009.
Slapped Heartbeat: Schertz scored a putrid 67.52 this week.
Weekly MVP: Vernon Davis's 36.00 was critical in getting D a victory.
Weekly Dud: Even though Matt won his game, Jimmy Graham's 0.00 takes this one.
Misplay of the Week: For some reason, Allen left Vincent Jackson and his 27.20 points on his bench in favor of either Montee Ball's 1.50 or Marcel Reece's 1.20. Yikes.
Week Seven Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Half of a Horse (Ed, 4-2, 3rd) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 4-2, 2nd):
Ed leads all-time series, 4-1.
For the second straight week, I'm featuring myself in this spot - but can anyone argue with this choice?
Pulley has been at or near the top of the standings all year, and surprisingly, so have I. And while it might be a little early to start talking playoffs, the winner of this game can certainly take a huge step towards securing a spot in week fourteen and beyond.
We both have some favorable matchups, too. Pulley's new stud Justin Blackmon goes up against the Chargers' questionable pass defense, while his new addition Alfred Morris gets to play against the Bears' suspect run d. And I get to send Brandon Marshall against the shaky Washington defense and Matt Ryan against the MRSA-infected Buccaneers. This one could be close, folks.
Pick: Half of a Horse.
Other Blingamatches
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 5-1, 1st) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 4-2, 5th):
Matt leads all-time series, 1-0.
The Hammers are looking to maintain their grip on first place, and Dez Bryant (@PHI) in particular looks to have a great chance at a huge week. Richie will need some help from his bench, as Marques Colston and DeMarco Murray are on bye. And he could really use a big week from Tom Brady (@NYJ) for a change.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Limited Characters (Babel, 0-6, 14th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-5, 13th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-2.
Between themselves, Mark Babel and Nick Warren have two Sanderson Cups, two more runner-up finishes, and three regular-season best records. In fact, one of them has either finished first in the regular season or made the Blingabowl in every year in league history. That streak looks to be in serious jeopardy in 2013.
Pick: Limited Characters.
Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-3, 10th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-3, 9th):
Pat leads all-time series, 1-0.
Thanks to both of their middling point totals, a loss here would put a big hit on either of these guy's playoff hopes. Pat's keeping of Jay Cutler (@WAS) could pay off here, as Drew Brees is on his bye week, but losing James Jones to injury could hurt quite a bit. JuJu will be hoping Hakeem Nicks (vs. MIN) and Matt Forte (@WAS) take advantage of juicy matchups.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
San Jose Sharknados (Mike R., 4-2, 4th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 3-3, 8th):
Rob leads all-time series, 4-1.
Don't look now, but Mike's won three games in a row and is currently in playoff position. And that's despite getting about as little as you can from your running backs (non-Allen-Clark division, that is). If either Maurice Jones-Drew (vs. SD) or Lamar Miller (vs. BUF) can give Bernie anything this week, he should win easily, as Jordy Nelson (vs. CLE) should benefit from the Packers' injuries at WR. Rob will have to hope Peyton Manning (@IND) has a homecoming to remember.
Pick: San Jose Sharknados.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-4, 11th) vs. D's Nuts (4-2, 6th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 5-0.
Derrek may be two games better in the standings, but Kevin has more points. A win for D would be huge for his playoff hopes, and his QB (Tony Romo, @PHI) has a great matchup. Kevin will trot out the other QB in that game, Nick Foles, but his new acquisition, Andre Johnson, has a scary matchup (@KC).
Pick: D's Nuts.
Coach Bombay's DD (Dave, 3-3, 7th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-4, 12th):
Allen leads all-time series, 4-2.
Dave has the fifth-highest point total after six weeks, but is currently outside of the playoff picture. Cam Newton (vs. STL) probably won't repeat last week's point explosion, but Torrey Smith (@PIT) and Donnie Avery (vs. HOU) certainly can't be worse. Can Allen keep getting good games from Rueben Randle (vs. MIN)? And will he actually play Vincent Jackson (@ATL) this week?
Pick: Coach Bombay's DD.
Closing Thoughts
Keep up the good work, gentlemen.
Eddo