The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-10-23 - Ask Again Later
Now that we've passed the halfway point, we can start to see how the playoff picture looks.
Week Seven Recap
Rabbit def. Babel, 137.82-133.37:
Poor, poor Babel. His score this week would have won 94% of the time, historically. And it looked good this time, until Jarrett Boykin (19.73) scored a meaningless TD for Rabs. Andy Dalton (30.20) had a great game for Mark, but Matt Stafford (29.85) had one for Nick.
Pulley def. Ed, 109.57-100.91:
I squeaked past the 100-point barrier yet again, but it wasn't enough to defeat the Pullman. Andrew Luck put up a stellar 30.30 for Adam, whose worst player was the usually-reliable Rob Bironas (5.00). Larry Fitzgerald's 2.27 doomed me.
Allen def. Dave, 86.96-81.10:
Allen's lucky he's got Vincent Jackson (30.40) - and remembered to play him this week! His RBs are still crappy - Brandon Jacobs got a zero (did not play) and Chris Ogbonnaya scored a mere 1.50 - but Jackson and Aaron Rodgers (25.20) proved to be enough. The Fultz Brothers were led by Jacquizz Rodgers's 19.75.
Kevin def. Derrek, 87.27-71.99:
Derrek wasted a 26.00-point performance from Eric Decker. Kevin kept himself in playoff contention thanks to a well-balanced lineup; his worst player was QB Nick Foles (3.50).
Matt def. Richie, 109.46-58.40:
Robert Griffin III (28.30) led all scorers in this one. Richie only had two roster spots break ten points, and one was his defense (San Francisco, 14.00).
Rob def. Mike R., 105.11-69.16:
Rob got a bad week from his opponent, but didn't really need it. The Panthers defense got Roundhouse an even 20.00 points, and Adam Vinatieri added 16.00. Bernie's best player was Demaryius Thomas, who put up 16.93, but his defense (Denver) had an especially bad -3.00-point day.
Schertz def. Pat, 85.61-55.91:
I'm sure JuJu will take this victory. While Matt Forte (29.50) and Russell Wilson (19.65) had nice games, Schertz's roster didn't do much else. But that's OK, as Pat had a horrible week. He left James Jones (0.00, did not play) in his lineup, and got -1.60 from Jay Cutler before the QB left with an injury.
Current Standings
Matt, 6-1, 823.73
Pulley, 5-2, 802.41
Ed, 4-3, 783.05
Rob, 4-3, 717.03
Schertz, 4-3, 678.17
Mike R., 4-3, 664.10
Richie, 4-3, 618.75
Derrek, 4-3, 613.07
Dave, 3-4, 728.78
Kevin, 3-4, 721.20
Pat, 3-4, 629.67
Allen, 3-4, 624.90
Rabbit, 2-5, 664.82
Babel, 0-7, 643.41
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Rabbit has the most Team Blangums awards ever, but he hadn't had one this year. Until now, as his 137.82 led all scorers in week seven.
Slapped Heartbeat: Pat's 55.91 brings home this award.
Weekly MVP: I could give this to Matt Stafford, who put up 29.85 for Rabs in a close win, but he was outscored by two of Babel's players (Andy Dalton, 30.20, and Calvin Johnson, 32.67). So I'm going to leave this award vacant this week.
Weekly Dud: Pat was "led" by Jay Cutler's -1.60.
Misplay of the Week: Pulley beat me by less than nine points; I played Aaron Dobson and his 4.53 over Terrance Williams and his 15.47. Oof.
Pickup of the Week: Jarrett Boykin's 19.73 was the difference between a loss and a win for Rabs.
Week Eight Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
San Jose Sharknados (Mike R., 4-3, 6th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 4-3, 5th):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 1-0.
Not only does this pit our two Mikes - er, I mean Bernie and JuJu - but it features two guys clinging to the last two playoff spots.
Playoff outlook? Both Mikes could quite easily recover from a loss this week. Schertz just snagged hot waiver claim Mike James (vs. CAR), while Mike R. has a great WR corps (Demaryius Thomas (vs. WAS), Jordy Nelson (@MIN), and DeSean Jackson (vs. NYG)). Bernie and JuJu should remain in playoff contention until the final week.
Pick: San Jose Sharknados.
Other Blingamatches
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-1, 1st) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-5, 13th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 6-2.
These guys have met with Sandy on the line twice, but this year looks to be quite one-sided.
Playoff outlook? For Matt, it would take a miracle to lose his spot. Let alone his #1 seed. How did he get the Slapped Heartbeat in week one?
For Rabs? Not so good. Although he's 8th in points, he still needs to leapfrog seven other teams to make the playoffs. While it's tough to count him out, I think I have to.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Half of a Horse (Ed, 4-3, 3rd) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 4-3, 7th):
Ed leads all-time series, 1-0.
Despite similar records, these teams seem a bit far apart in the standings.
Playoff outlook? My point total - I've scored 100 points every week so far - suggests I'm in good shape, even though I'm in a six-way tie for third. Richie's point total suggests he really needs to start winning games again.
Pick: Half of a Horse.
Coach Bombay's DD (Dave, 3-4, 9th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 4-3, 8th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 4-1.
Dave might be having the most Dave year ever - some great weeks that inflate his point total, but still more losses than wins (including a brutal one this past week to Allen). And Derrek might be having the most Derrek year ever - a weak point total, but right in the thick of the playoff race.
Playoff outlook? I'm going to look at the point totals here. Dave's fourth overall in points, so I'm thinking he'll keep in contention. But D? He has thirty points less than 0-7 Babel. I think he actually needs to turn his season around to finish in the top six.
Pick: Coach Bombay's DD.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-4, 10th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-4, 12th):
Kevin leads all-time series, 4-2.
Kevin started 0-2 despite putting up a boatload of points, while Allen was one of the shakier 2-0 teams in memory. And now they're in the same place, more or less.
Playoff outlook? Kevin's point total - combined with two straight wins - means he's not going away (though actually making the playoffs would be a tall order). Allen's lucky he broke his four-game losing streak, or else I think we could comfortably write him off. As it his, he needs a major turnaround to make the playoffs.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-2, 2nd) vs. Limited Characters (Babel, 0-7, 14th):
All-time series tied, 4-4.
These two go way back, but I'm not sure I can recall a time when there was so much separating them.
Playoff outlook? Pulley's got a very strong MondoSquad, as is plain to see. So he would need a major collapse to miss out. Babel? Babel's not making the playoffs. But he could play a spoiler role. And at least he doesn't have to play Geno Smith this week...
Pick: Limited Characters.
Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-4, 11th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 4-3, 4th):
Rob leads all-time series, 4-0.
Can Rob move to 5-0 against his fellow TX '10?
Playoff outlook? Pat needs to make some serious moves if he wants to sneak in. Especially now that Reggie Wayne is out for the year. Rob, meanwhile, has positioned himself quite well.
Pick: THRILLHO.
Closing Thoughts
Happy Halloween, a week early.
Eddo