The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-11-06 - Shaping Up
Four weeks to go, and no one's clinched yet. But we're getting close...
Week Nine Recap
Mike R. def Kevin, 115.86-115.05:
Martellus Bennett just missed a touchdown on Monday night, and that was the difference here. Kevin was only in this game, though, thanks to Andre Johnson's 48.53 against the Colts. Mike got 31.50 from Zac Stacy and 26.00 from DeSean Jackson, as he solidified his playoff odds and can even start thinking about nabbing a bye.
[UPDATE: Kevin def. Mike R., 115.05-114.86: Stat corrections work in Kevin's favor for once! (This winds up being the third-closest game in Blingaleague history.)]
Rob def. Babel, 86.20-82.04:
Rob kept himself in playoff position thanks to the Un-Luck of the Polish. True, Babel didn't exactly have a good week, but this was yet another close loss. The high score in this game was the Carolina defense, which put up 19.00 for Rob.
Rabbit def. Richie, 160.94-108.53:
Rabs has awoken from his slumber, but is it too late? Starting Nick Foles and his 47.70 was a great move for Nick. Richie - along with Tom Brady (34.50) - finally broke out of his slump, but it was against the wrong guy.
Dave def. Pulley, 119.25-104.45:
Dave sent Adam to his second consecutive loss, as Giovani Bernard scored 23.23 and the Kansas City defense added 22.00. Pulley got 23.55 from Andrew Luck and 18.10 from Alfred Morris, but that wasn't good enough to get back into the win column. Now he has to sweat even making the postseason.
Matt def. Derrek, 113.15-63.85:
Matt won his eighth in a row. Including last year's playoffs, he's won seventeen of eighteen. Is he the New Rabs?
Ed def. Pat, 96.21-85.94:
My 100-point streak is over, but not by too much. Aaron Dobson's huge game (29.33) and Brandon Marshall's very good one (20.27) allowed me to edge Pat. Mr. Gawne got 21.00 each from Drew Brees and Eddie Lacy, but it wasn't quite enough.
Schertz def. Allen, 111.92-64.72:
JuJu is back in playoff position, as he defeated Allen behind strong games from Matt Forte (25.70), Russell Wilson (24.45), Danny Amendola (22.27), and Mike James (20.97). Allen needed a big game from Aaron Rodgers (1.25), who got hurt on his first series. Ouch.
Current Standings
Matt, 8-1, 1063.54
Ed, 6-3, 996.98
Pulley, 5-4, 972.75
Mike R., 5-4, 898.99
Rob, 5-4, 880.87
Schertz, 5-4, 845.37
Derrek, 5-4, 786.39
Dave, 4-5, 921.62
Kevin, 3-6, 880.15
Pat, 4-5, 815.75
Richie, 4-5, 789.04
Allen, 4-5, 770.37
Rabbit, 3-6, 942.06
Babel, 1-8, 899.54 (e)
(e) Eliminated from playoff contention
Playoff Scenarios
Matt clinches a playoff berth with:
a win
OR
a tie AND a Pulley-Derrek tie
OR
a tie AND a Pulley loss or tie AND a Rob loss or tie
OR
a tie AND a Rob loss or tie AND a Derrek loss or tie
OR
a tie AND a Schertz loss or tie AND a Derrek loss or tie
OR
a loss AND a Pulley loss AND a Rob loss
OR
a loss AND a Rob loss AND a Derrek loss
OR
a loss AND a Schertz loss AND a Derrek loss.
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Rabbit's 160.94 earns him his second $10 payout in three weeks.
Slapped Heartbeat: Derrek's 63.85 barely edges out Allen's 64.72, though D does remain ahead of (only) Allen in total points.
Week Ten Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-4, 4th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 5-4, 7th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 5-2.
This matchup marks the beginning of a crucial stretch for our four 5-4 teams. Derrek faces Pulley, Rob, and Schertz over the next three weeks, and then Pulley and Rob face off in the Clash of Hatred in week thirteen. So what I'm getting at is that the playoffs are wide open.
As for this week, tomorrow's Redskins-Vikings game will be big. Pulley sends out Alfred Morris and Derrek has Adrian Peterson and Blair Walsh.
Outside of that, Pulley's got Andrew Luck going against the mediocre Rams, while Derrek has Colin Kaepernick going against the stronger Panthers.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Other Blingamatches
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 8-1, 1st) vs. Coach Bombay's DD (Dave, 4-5, 8th):
Matt leads all-time series, 4-1.
Matt's been in ass-kicking mode since his week one Slapped Heartbeat, while Dave's been much less consistent, just missing Team Blangums a few times, but also turning in some stinkers. I can't in good faith pick the Fultzes, but they are certainly capable of this upset.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 3-6, 12th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-4, 6th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 1-0.
Rabs is not out of it yet, sitting two games out of sixth place. But in order to get there, he'll have to leapfrog six teams, which might be too tall an order. A loss here will essentially end his playoff hopes. Rabs is hot, but there's a reason Schertz has won two more games this season.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
THRILLHO (Rob, 5-4, 5th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 4-5, 11th):
Allen leads all-time series, 4-2.
Like D, Rob has multiple games left against his fellow 5-4ers. And with C.J. Spiller (@PIT) looking lively again, he shouldn't have too much trouble with the Aaron Rodgers-less Dr. Clark.
Pick: THRILLHO.
Half of a Horse (Ed, 6-3, 2nd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-6, 13th):
Ed leads all-tim series, 5-3.
Kevin's QB situation is not great, as he'll be trotting out Case Keenum (@ARI) this week. Like Rabs, he pretty much needs to win out to even have a chance at the playoffs. His defense (Tennessee (vs. JAC)), Marshawn Lynch (@ATL) and Keenan Allen (vs. DEN) might be enough to beat me, though I do have a nice RB matchup (Knowshon Moreno (@SD)) myself.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 4-5, 9th) vs. San Jose Sharknados (Mike R., 6-3, 3rd):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 3-2.
Bernie made a big move this week, acquiring Frank Gore (vs. CAR) from Babel. The Panthers aren't the best matchup for Gore, though he's got a really nice matchup for Demaryius Thomas (@SD). Pat will hope the Seneca Wallace-led Packers will give Eddie Lacy (vs. PHI) a ton of carries. He also needs a defense, as his current one (New England) is on bye.
Pick: San Jose Sharknados.
Limited Characters (Babel, 1-8, 14th) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 4-5, 10th):
Babel leads all-time series, 1-0.
Richie was 4-1 at one point, but he's riding a four-game losing streak at the moment. Babel laughs at that, having suffered a seven-gamer of his own earlier this year.
Pick: Limited Characters.
Closing Thoughts
This past week was the fifteenth-highest scoring of all-time.
EWG