The Sanderson Gazette - 2013-12-26 - Simply the Best
And thus ends another fine season.
Blingabowl VI Recap
Matt def. Rob, 110-11.99.31:
Is anyone surprised by this outcome? Matt was the class of the Blingaleague from week two onward, so this is definitely a well-earned championship. He was paced by Pierre Garcon's 25.20 points and Jamaal Charles's 21.67. Rob had a good showing, too, mainly thanks to Peyton Manning (35.00).
Third-Place Game Recap
Pulley def. Dave, 93.46-91.55:
Roddy White (24.80) was tackled inside the five on his final catch, and thus, Dave fell short of beating Pulley.
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Matt, 110.11.
Slapped Heartbeat: Dave, 91.55.
Weekly MVP: Pierre Garcon (25.20) very quietly was a major contributor to Matt's dominating team.
Annual MVP: Jamaal Charles, in a close one over Peyton Manning.
Annual Dud: Trent Richardson went from being the #1 overall pick to very nearly being cut.
Season Postmortems
Rob Gross (THRILLHO, 9-6, 2nd):
From Rob himself: "My season was perfectly shown in my loss this week [in Blingabowl VI] - [Peyton] Manning great, [Antonio] Brown and [Julius] Thomas very good, and [Ray] Rice supremely disappointing."
Estimated wins: 6.229.
Matt Harrison (Harrison Hammers, 13-2, 1st):
The biggest anomaly of the season has to be Matt's Slapped Heartbeat in week one.
Estimated wins: 9.484.
Blingapower Rankings
(Overall records include regular season games only.)
14. Pat Gawne (last year: 13th)
Overall record: 24-41 (.369)
Average annual total: 1120.72
Yearly finishes: 8th (2009), 11th (2011, 2012), 12th (2010, 2013)
I've dropped Pat behind Richie since the former has five years of futility, while the latter has only two.
NFL equivalent: Pat's the Oakland Raiders until he forces me to promote him.
13. Richie Armour (last year: 14th)
Overall record 7-19 (.269)
Average annual total: 1111.52
Yearly finishes: 10th (2013), 14th (2012)
If it weren't for Trent Richardson's craptacular year, Richie might have made the playoffs in year two. As it is, he's got some nice WR keeper talent in Alshon Jeffery and Julian Edelman.
NFL equivalent: the Buffalo Bills - not a playoff team, but assembling some nice talent.
12. Mike Schertz (last year: 11th)
Overall record: 11-15 (.423)
Average annual total: 1197.43
Yearly finishes: 9th (2012, 2013)
Mike's pretty similar to Richie, but a bit better. There's no reason to think he won't be in the playoff hunt all next year.
NFL equivalent: St. Louis Rams.
11. Allen Clark (last year: 6th)
Overall record: 38-40 (.487)
Average annual total: 1201.12
Yearly finishes: 4th (2010), 5th (2008, 2011), 7th (2009), 8th (2012), 14th (2013)
Allen was the toughest to rank. He has made the playoffs three times, and had an above-.500 record until this season... but wow, was 2013 a horrible year for him. And since it's a downward trend, he winds up being the biggest faller in the power rankings.
NFL equivalent: Atlanta Falcons.
10. Dave (and Kyle) Fultz (last year: 12th)
Overall record: 31-47 (.397)
Average annual total: 1249.43
Yearly finishes: 4th (2013), 7th (2012), 8th (2010), 11th (2008, 2009), 12th (2011)
This may have been the year the Dave-as-laughingstock meme was officially retired, but we're really a few years behind. Dave traditionally has a worse record than his point total, so it's not hard to move him up a few spots after a very strong year.
NFL equivalent: still the Miami Dolphins.
9. Kevin Pattermann (last year: 10th)
Overall record: 36-42 (.462)
Average annual total: 1257.71
Yearly finishes: 5th (2009), 6th (2008), 8th (2011, 2013), 10th (2010, 2012)
It's hard to rank Kevin behind Dave, as the only thing the Fultzes have ahead of their cousin is that they've finished higher than fifth. Outside of that, Kevin has a better record, more total points, more playoff appearances, and a 7-2 head-to-head record.
NFL equivalent: New York Jets.
8. Mike Romor (lst year: 9th)
Overall record: 38-40 (.487)
Average annual total: 1290.42
Yearly finishes: 5th (2013), 6th (2012), 8th (2008), 9th (2011), 10th (2009), 11th (2010)
Mike's second consecutive playoff appearance proves that his great 2012 regular season (and unfortunate playoff exit) was not a fluke. He's not quite ready to jump into the top six, but a strong 2014 might be enough.
NFL equivalent: Indianapolis Colts.
7. Mark Babel (last year: 5th)
Overall record: 41-37 (.526)
Average annual total: 1317.42
Yearly finishes: 2nd (2012), 4th (2008), 6th (2010), 7th (2011), 9th (2009), 13th (2013)
Babel wasn't as bad as his record this year, but he still finished in 13th, so he kind of has to drop. But look at his overall record; would you have guessed it was that good?
NFL equivalent: a nice playoff run as an underdog, generally successful, but still some disappointing years? Let's go with the New York Giants.
6. Adam Pulley (last year: 8th)
Overall record: 36-42 (.462)
Average annual total: 1221.37
Yearly finishes: 1st (2008), 3rd (2013), 5th (2010), 10th (2011), 12th (2009, 2012)
Pulley's overall record is a little suspect, but he has finished in the money twice. And his bad years have been really bad. I think he's going to like his equivalent team...
NFL equivalent: San Francisco 49ers.
5. Derrek Drenckpohl (last year: 4th)
Overall record: 43-35 (.551)
Average annual total: 1243.61
Yearly finishes: 3rd (2009, 2010), 5th (2012), 6th (2011), 7th (2008, 2013)
Derrek stays ahead of Pulley, Babel, and Mike R. because he has no bad years (though he does have several years where his record was better than his point total would lead you to believe).
NFL equivalent: those good playoff runs are a while ago, but like I said, no bad finishes; the Chicago Bears fit here.
4. Rob Gross (last year: 7th)
Overall record: 41-37 (.526)
Average annual total: 1302.72
Yearly finishes: 2nd (2008, 2013), 4th (2009, 2011), 7th (2010), 13th (2012)
Rob's our big riser this year, but that's really because he probably shouldn't have fallen so far last year. It looks like 2012 is an anomaly here, as Rob's been one of the most consistently successful Blingaleague franchises.
NFL equivalent: New Orleans Saints.
3. Ed Gross (last year: 3rd)
Overall record: 46-32 (.590)
Average annual total: 1321.17
Yearly finishes: 2nd (2010), 3rd (2008, 2011), 4th (2012), 6th (2009, 2013)
When it comes to making the playoffs but not really doing anything once he's there, it's Ed all the way.
NFL equivalent: Cincinnati Bengals.
2. Nick "Rabbit" Warren (last year: 1st)
Overall record: 51-27 (.654)
Average annual total: 1377.17
Yearly finishes: 1st (2010, 2011), 2nd (2009), 3rd (2012), 9th (2008), 11th (2013)
Only nine individual Blingaleague team-seasons scored more total points than Rabbit's average score.
NFL equivalent: New England Patriots.
1. Matt Harrison (last year: 2nd)
Overall record: 46-32 (.590)
Average annual total: 1352.25
Yearly finishes: 1st (2009, 2012, 2013), 2nd (2011), 9th (2010), 12th (2008)
With third Sanderson Cup, Matt moves to the top.
NFL equivalent: Matt's kind of unique; the Patriots fit Rabs more than they fit Matt. Only the Steelers and Giants have won multiple Super Bowls recently, and neither has the same run of succes as Matt. So I'm going to go historical here: the 1990's Dallas Cowboys.
Draft Lottery
The odds for getting the #1 overall pick are:
Likelihood of getting first pick:
Allen => 19.46%
Babel => 17.68%
Pat => 14.54%
Rabbit => 13.22%
Richie => 10.02%
Schertz => 9.79%
Kevin => 9.38%
Derrek => 5.91%
Closing Thoughts
This was another great year. Thanks to everyone, you are the ones that make the Blingaleague great.
Ed