"DeAngelo Williams... really?" - Allen Clark

Week One Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt):

Rabbit leads all-time series 6-3.

Five Sanderson Cups. Four regular season titles. Twenty-six Team Blangums awards.

That's what these two bring into the seventh year of the Blingaleague.

"But," one might say, "that's all in the past." Well, one would be right. So what does 2014 look like for these two titans?

Yahoo loved Matt's draft, though he admittedly felt only OK about it. Your commissioner also feels only OK about it.

The draft room didn't care for Rabbit's draft, though; Marshawn Lynch raised some eyebrows at #3 overall, and the consensus was that Rob Gronkowski was a big risk for a third-round keeper. Coming off his first non-playoff season since 2008, has Rabbit lost his mojo?

It used to be that I'd pick against Rabs when he gave me reason; now, that title has passed to Matt.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Other Blingamatches

Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen):

Babel leads all-time series, 5-3.

Allen was auto-drafted for (with one instruction: RB in the first, no matter what), and you know what? His team might be better off for it. Meanwhile, Babel was at the draft in person (enough for several people, in fact), and might just have the most clever team name yet. I just want to type it one more time...

Pick: Keep Calm and Le'Veon.

D's Nuts (Derrek) vs. THRILLHO (Rob):

Rob leads all-time series, 5-3.

For the first time ever, D drafted in person. And what a time was had! He didn't even take a defense (49ers) until the tenth round! Rob went Broncos-heavy (Peyton Manning, Montee Ball, keeper Julius Thomas), but yikes - where are his WRs?

Pick: D's Nuts.

BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz):

Dave leads all-time series, 2-0.

I'm curious as to why Dave picked his team name. The Fultz brothers are favored, but I'm making this pick assuming Schertz picks up a kicker who is not currently suspended (nice pick, Michael).

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R.) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat):

Mike R. leads all-time series, 4-2.

Mike has proven his mettle with two straight playoff berths, but his ultimate goal this year has to be to get his first playoff win. Pat, who has the most impressive top three I can remember (Drew Brees, Calvin Johnson, Eddie Lacy), should be shooting to break into the playoffs for the first time ever.

Pick: Vinegar Strokes.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin):

Pulley leads all-time series, 6-2.

Fun fact: this is our lone week one rematch from last year. Kevin's got some impressive pass-catchers in Jimmy Graham, Emmanuel Sanders, and Percy Harvin. But his RBs might actually be worse than Rob's WRs. Pulley's team would look better if Wes Welker were healthy.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Live Commish (Ed) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie):

Ed leads all-time series, 2-0.

Richie's semi-auto-drafted team might look weird (Robert Griffin III/Jason Witten in the 4th/5th?), but it has a lot of promise. I will be relying on my hodgepodge of RBs and awesome 2009 WR squad.

Pick: DICK ARMOUR.

Some Other Predictions

One of the three teams to never make the playoffs - Pat, Richie, Schertz - will break through this year.

Rob and Pulley will make at least two trades each, and one will be with each other.

Dave will overreact and overpay for a RB, but it won't materially affect his record.

No team will win more than ten games.

League Dues

For those of you who haven't paid me, please send $40 to 3514 N. Leavitt, Chicago, IL 60618 as soon as you can.

Closing Thoughts

Good luck to everyone, and let's have another Blangums year!

E$

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