The Sanderson Gazette - 2014-09-10 - Easy Does It
"I am very relaxed" - Dave Fultz.
Week Two Recap
Pulley def. Kevin, 118.07-104.42:
How boring was this week? This thirteen-plus-point difference was the closest game we had. And Kevin - who got 19.45 from Russell Wilson and 18.00 from Matt Bryant - took the only tough loss of the week. Pulley got 27.40 from Andrew Luck and 21.47 from Antonio Brown, and that was enough for the win.
Rob def. Derrek, 120.22-101.11:
Rob's Broncos led the way, as he got 24.15 from Peyton Manning, 14.83 from Montee Ball, and 31.87 from Julius Thomas. That offset Bernard Pierce's -0.60. Derrek got 18.00 from the 49ers defense and 18.15 from Colin Kaepernick, but it wasn't enough to avoid a somewhat tough loss.
Dave def. Schertz, 157.21-83.62:
Matt Ryan's 34.90 led the way for the Fultz brothers. Add in 23.97 from A.J. Green and 24.00 from the Texans defense, and you get the fifteenth-highest score in Blingaleague history. And, um, Schertz got 19.80 from Matt Forte and 19.45 from Jay Cutler (between this game and the last, what's with teammates getting weirdly-similar scores?).
Rabbit def. Matt, 103.25-78.08:
Our defending champ laid a week one egg for the second straight year, getting 16.27 from Zach Ertz as a high score. Rabs only got 9.05 from Tony Romo, but offset that with a huge game from Marshawn Lynch (24.87).
Babel def. Allen, 112.07-87.44:
Babel's team namesake - Le'Veon Bell - put up an impressive 28.63 this week, making up for his other RB, Doug Martin (1.83). Allen got 32.50 from Matt Stafford, but had an otherwise mediocre showing.
Ed def. Richie, 101.81-70.30:
Speaking of mediocre showings, I had no one break the twenty-point barrier. But my six double-digit scorers were enough to snag me the win. Richie got 17.87 from DeAndre Hopkins, but was killed by Robert Griffin III (8.55) and Jason Witten (1.87).
Pat def. Mike R., 62.19:
All hail Calvin Johnson. Pat's first-round pick put up 33.87 points, which alone was more than half of Bernie's score.
Current Standings
Dave, 1-0, 157.21
Rob, 1-0, 120.22
Pulley, 1-0, 118.07
Babel, 1-0, 112.07
Rabbit, 1-0, 103.25
Pat, 1-0, 103.15
Ed, 1-0, 101.81
Kevin, 0-1, 104.42
Derrek, 0-1, 101.11
Allen, 0-1, 87.44
Schertz, 0-1, 83.62
Matt, 0-1, 78.08
Richie, 0-1, 70.30
Mike R., 0-1, 62.19
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Dave ran away with this one, scoring 157.21.
Slapped Heartbeat: Mike R. won't get off to too hot a start this year, as he scored only 62.19 this week.
Weekly MVP: Matt Ryan's 34.90 was a big part of Dave's high score.
Dud of the week: How about Jordan Reed? He scored 0.53 for Mike R.
Week Three Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 1-0, 1st) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 1-0, 2nd):
Dave leads all-time series, 4-3.
Only one week in, and we already have a first-vs.-second-place matchup.
Dave brings in his week one high flyer, Matt Ryan (@ CIN), at QB, but Rob counters with his all-time high flyer, Peyton Manning (vs. KC).
Dave looks to have better receivers, but Rob might have better RBs and a better TE.
Pick: BANGARANG RUFIO.
Other Blingamatches
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-0, 3rd) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 0-1, 9th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 5-3.
Derrek has three of Pulley's beloved 49ers (Kaepernick, Gore, defense, all vs. CHI) to throw against his opponent, but Pulley has no Vikings to counter. What he does have is a stud QB (Andrew Luck, vs. PHI) and WR (Antonio Brown, @ BAL). I suspect he'll take what he's got.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-0, 5th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 0-1, 8th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-2.
Is the Rabs of old back? Maybe, but he did start 1-0 last year. And he's relying on Tony Romo (@ TEN) as his quarterback. Meanwhile, Yahoo really hates Kevin's team. But I see some promise.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Live Commish (Ed, 1-0, 7th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-1, 11th):
Ed leads all-time series, 2-0.
Yahoo doesn't like my team much, either. Hopefully, Knowshon Moreno's (@ BUF) week one was no fluke. Schertz looks to bounce back from a rough week one, and he'll be relying on a bunch of Bears (Matt Forte) and 49ers (Vernon Davis, Michael Crabtree), who play each other in San Francisco.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 1-0, 4th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 0-1, 14th):
All-time series tied, 4-4.
Mike R. could really use a rebound - can Aaron Rodgers (vs. NYJ) lead the way? Or will Babel get another big game from Le'Veon Bell (@ BAL)?
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 0-1, 13th) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 1-0, 6th):
Pat leads all-time series, 2-0.
Yahoo likes RGIII (vs. JAC), so it also likes Richie in this game. Me? I like Calvin Johnson (@ CAR).
Pick: Vinegar Strokes.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 0-1, 12th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 0-1, 10th):
Matt leads all-time series, 4-2.
Before you read too much into Matt's poor week one showing, remember that he had his heartbeat slapped in week one last year, then only lost one more game.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Closing Thoughts
OK guys, we can all do better than last week. Well, maybe not Dave.
Eddo