The Sanderson Gazette - 2014-09-17 - Beep Beep
"Yes, Allen will probably beat me. And to make it worse, I'm typing this from a maternity store." - Matt Harrison
Week Two Recap
Pat def. Richie, 107.21-100.70:
Mr. Gawne improves to an unexpected 2-0 thanks to some unexpected players. Delanie Walker led the way with 24.93 points, and James Jones (18.93) and Nick Novak (15.00) came in second and third on Pat's team. Richie got 17.70 from Julian Edelman and 26.00 from the New England defense, but he fell just short, and now sits winless after two weeks.
Mike R. def. Babel, 133.40:
There was a lot talk about this game in the Blingaleague hangout, and most of it was frustration on Babel's part. While he did get 30.80 from Antonio Gates and 19.73 from Dez Bryant, he could only watch as Aaron Rodgers (28.10) pushed Bernie to victory - and that was before Darren Sproles put up 28.87 on Monday night.
Dave def. Rob, 105.75-96.43:
The landlord emerged victorious in this landloard-tenant battle, despite getting zero from A.J. Green. Jordy Nelson's 33.87 was plent, though. Rob got 23.00 from Peyton Manning and 19.00 from Dan Bailey, but when a kicker's your second-highest scorer, you can't expect too much.
Allen def. Matt, 93.15-78.05:
Allen's fairly balanced week was enough when going up against Matt's putrid one. Dr. Clark got 21.40 from Arian Foster and 17.00 from the Cardinals defense. Matt suffered through 1.47 from Jamaal Charles and 2.53 from DeSean Jackson, both of whom left their games with injuries.
Pulley def. Derrek, 133.53-64.07:
In the rare Blangums/Slapped Heartbeat matchup, Pulley got more than twenty points from three players (Andrew Luck, 20.60; DeMarco Murray, 21.60; Alfred Morris, 20.50). Derrek took a negative from one (49ers defense, -1.00).
Schertz def. Ed, 74.81-72.63:
Sad face.
Kevin def. Rabbit, 98.36-74.84:
All hail Jimmy Graham (27.73)! A good week for Kevin - he even got 2.93 from Devonta Freeman - sends Rabs to the loss. Nick was paced by Randall Cobb's 19.80 points.
Current Standings
Dave, 2-0, 262.96
Pulley, 2-0, 251.60
Pat, 2-0, 210.36
Babel, 1-1, 218.10
Rob, 1-1, 216.95
Kevin, 1-1, 202.78
Mike R., 1-1, 195.59
Allen, 1-1, 180.59
Rabbit, 1-1, 178.09
Ed, 1-1, 174.44
Schertz, 1-1, 157.43
Richie, 0-2, 171.00
Derrek, 0-2, 165.18
Matt, 0-2, 156.13
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Pulley scored 133.53, enough to take Team Blangums by 0.13 points.
Slapped Heartbeat: Derrek would like to forget his 64.07.
Weekly MVP: Jordy Nelson's 33.87 were huge for the Fultz brothers.
Start of the Week: Pat played James Jones (18.93) in his flex spot over Stevie Johnson (3.47) and Santonio Holmes (2.67), earning a nice win in the process.
Misplay of the Week: Take your pick of two bad Richie choices; he would have defeated Pat had he played Cam Newton (17.95) over Robert Griffin III (3.10) or Mark Ingram (17.10) over Toby Gerhart (2.00).
Week Three Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-0, 2nd) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 2-0, 3rd):
Pulley leads all-time series, 4-1.
Which one of these two will move to 3-0?
Will it be Pulley and his strong RBs (DeMarco Murray (@STL), Alfred Morris (@PHI))? He's also got the always-solid Antonio Brown (@CAR) at WR. And he might have Wes Welker (@SEA) back, but he's got a rough matchup even if he plays.
Or will it be Pat, with Drew Brees (vs. MIN) looking to bounce back, who stays undefeated? His top WR (Calvin Johnson) and top RB (Eddie Lacy) will be facing each other; if that game is a shootout, Pulley will be toast.
I have one more question: are we ready for a league in which Pat Gawne is in first place?
Pick: Vinegar Strokes.
Other Blingamatches
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-1, 6th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 1-1, 5th):
Rob leads all-time series, 6-2.
A lot of action in the Broncos-Seahawks game in this matchup. Kev trots out Russel Wilson, Percy Harvin, and Emmanuel Sanders. Rob, of course, has Peyton Manning, Julius Thomas, and Montee Ball. I'm going to pick the whose top RB is not Chris Johnson.
Pick: THRILLHO.
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 1-1, 7th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 1-1, 11th):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 2-0.
Our third-annual Mike Bowl (The Bernie vs. JuJu Death Match) is a tale of two QB slots. Bernie has a always-start QB in Aaron Rodgers (@DET); meanwhile, JuJu has to choose between Jay Cutler (@NYJ) and Tom Brady (vs. OAK), which doesn't sound that appealing this year.
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Live Commish (Ed, 1-1, 10th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 1-1, 8th):
Ed leads all-time series, 6-1.
Last week, my team was almost entirely Philip Rivers (@BUF) and Brandon Marshall (@NYJ). If only Marques Colston (vs. MIN) gets some targets this week, I should be in much better shape. Allen should expect a strong bounceback game from Matt Stafford (vs. GB), but will he play the correct RBs and WRs this week?
Pick: Live Commish.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 0-2, 14th) vs. BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 2-0, 1st):
Matt leads all-time series, 6-1.
While it's not too shocking to see the Fultz brothers in first place, it is a little unsettling to see that "14" next to Matt's name. And now our two-time defending champ will be without Jamaal Charles. He does have some options, however: Danny Woodhead (@BUF), Ahmad Bradshaw (@JAC), and Justin Forsett (@CLE) all could be playable. And what about Dave, who right now is starting two Cincinnati RBs (Geovani Bernard, Jeremy Hill (vs. TEN)), but won't have his first-round Bengal, A.J. Green.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 1-1, 4th) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 0-2, 12th):
All-time series tied, 1-1.
Richie's 0-2 start can be laid mostly at the feet (arms?) of RGIII, who has now been cut. Taking over at QB is Cam Newton (vs. PIT), which doesn't sound like that much. But he's also got a couple Patriots (Julian Edelman, defense) going against the really, really bad Raiders. Babel's chances might rely on Antonio Gates (@BUF) having another huge game.
Pick: DICK ARMOUR.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-1, 9th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 0-2, 13th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 5-3.
The Adrian Peterson fiasco has really been hard on Derreks' team, as he might wind up starting Jerick McKinnon (@NO) instead. Add in an unpredictable QB in Colin Kaepernick (@ARI), and D can't be too excited to face Rabs. But Mr. Warren has a mercurial QB of his own, Tony Romo (@STL).
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Closing Thoughts
Week two may have had closer games, but its per-team score (95.64, 47th out of 80 all-time) was actually a good deal worse than week one's (100.21, 28th).
So let's make week three a more classic Blingaweek.
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