The Sanderson Gazette - 2014-10-15 - Through the Front Door

Week Six Recap

Rabbit def. Ed, 117.05-114.12:

The Broncos caught a game-clinching interception, only needing to kneel to end their game. Instead, they returned it for a touchdown, giving Rabs six points. T.Y. Hilton (35.73) had quite the say in this one, as well. I got 22.00 from Mohamed Sanu and 27.95 from Philip Rivers, but took a tough, tough loss.

Rob def. Allen, 112.15-109.12:

Allen took a tough loss himself, and that was with two 0's (Shonn Greene, Garrett Graham) in his lineup! Rob got 0.70 combined from Kendall Wright and C.J. Spiller (how does he feel about Spiller, again?). Imagine how many these guys would have scored if they had started actual productive players.

Richie def. Derrek, 105.80-101.05:

This game got close out of nowhere, as D got 32.85 from Colin Kaepernick and 14.00 from the 49ers' defense on Monday night. But Richie got enough from Austin Davis (8.70) in that game, holding on to his first win of the year.

Dave def. Mike R., 118.85-101.93:

Bengals RBs (Geovani Bernarnd, 22.37, and Jeremy Hill, 9.93) combined for over thirty points for the Fultzes, and along with the Eagles' defense's 23.00, that proved enough to get another win. Mike R. had a good week of his own, thanks to Aaron Rodgers (25.60) and Demaryius Thomas (22.53), but became our fourth 100-point loser this week.

Schertz def. Kevin, 120.48-60.70:

Mr. Schertz, welcome to 5-1! Matt Forte's 30.27 led the way for JuJu, and Jay Cutler's 23.15 helped him secure Team Blangums this week. Kevin had a week to forget, despite Mike Wallace's 14.93.

Matt def. Pat, 111.37-66.61:

Pat never really had a chance this week, starting with Reggie Wayne's pedestrian 4.67 on Thursday night. Matt overcame -0.10 from Percy Harvin, thanks to 21.83 from DeSean Jackson and 21.00 from the Detroit defense.

Pulley def. Babel, 92.67-68.05:

Our first-place team is allowed to win with the eleventh-highest total of th week sometimes. But Adam: you know you want positive points from your defense (Tampa Bay, -3.00), right?

Current Standings

Our top five hasn't changed from last week.

  1. Pulley, 5-1, 743.83

  2. Rabbit, 5-1, 631.94

  3. Schertz, 5-1, 581.86

  4. Dave, 4-2, 715.45

  5. Rob, 4-2, 642.78

  6. Matt, 3-3, 641.77

  7. Ed, 3-3, 561.62

  8. Pat, 3-3, 537.23

  9. Babel, 2-4, 607.06

  10. Mike R., 2-4, 576.15

  11. Kevin, 2-4, 559.94

  12. Allen, 2-4, 540.31

  13. Richie, 1-5, 506.01

  14. Derrek, 1-5, 500.81

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Schertz's 120.48 is good for the lowest Team Blangums score so far this year - and $10 in his pocket.

Slapped Heartbeat: Kevin's 60.70 came in the same game.

Weekly MVP: Rabs got 35.73 from T.Y. Hilton, needing every point to get a victory.

Misplay of the Week: If I had played Anquan Boldin (18.53) over Darren McFadden (8.80) - let alone Knowshon Moreno (2.07) - I not only would have won my matchup, but I would have won Team Blangums as well.

Dud of the Week: "Fuck C.J. Spiller" - Rob Gross.

Week Seven Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-3, 6th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-1, 3rd):

All-time series tied, 1-1.

Don't look now, but Matt's back to .500. And weirdly, he's only .500 all-time against Mr. Schertz.

Speaking of JuJu, he's sitting here at 5-1, in great position to make the playoffs in his third season. His Bears, Jay Cutler (vs. MIA) and Matt Forte (vs. MIA), have been instrumental in his lofty record, and should once again have good games.

Meanwhile, Matt will hope that Jamaal Charles (@SD) will return strongly from his bye week. He starts another Chief (Alex Smith) at QB, though, and can't feel quite so good about that.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Other Blingamatches

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 5-1, 2nd) vs. Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 2-4, (9th):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 5-2.

Mark's season looked promising once, but he's had a few close calls (and, more recently, a not-so-close one) that have led to this: a must-win game against the man, the myth, the legend, Nick Warren. Rabs has eked out a couple wins in recent weeks, and if T.Y. Hilton (vs. CIN) and Randall Cobb (vs. CAR) continue their good performance, he'll do so again.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-3, 8th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 4-2, 5th):

Rob leads all-time series, 4-1.

The annual battle of the TX '10s has some fairly significant playoff implications: Rob needs to win to keep pace with the five stalwarts in front of him, while Pat needs to do the same to avoid falling too far below the playoff line.

Pick: THRILLHO.

Live Commish (Ed, 3-3, 7th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-4, 10th):

Ed leads all-time series, 4-3.

Normally, I'd say this matchup between two of more active participants in the Google Hangout would generate a lot of chatter... but I'll be at the Bears game and less capable of typing.

Pick: Live Commish.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-1, 1st) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-5, 13th):

All-time series tied, 1-1.

Yahoo loves Pulley's roster this week, and generally, how can you not? DeMarco Murray (vs. NYG) has been the Blingaleague MVP so far, and Andrew Luck (vs. CIN) and Antonio Brown (vs. HOU) have been among the tops at their positions, as well. Richie will be without top overall pick LeSean McCoy, who's on bye.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 4-2, 4th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-5, 14th):

Derrek leads all-time series, 5-1.

You could make the case that Dave has been the second-best team in the league so far. The best you can say for D is that he might be second-worst.

Pick: BANGARANG RUFIO.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-4, 11th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-4, 12th):

Closing Thoughts

To all you guys who don't participate in the Blingaleague Hangout... you should. It's awesome.

Eddo