The Sanderson Gazette - 2014-10-23 - Headline
"Taking this opportunity to gloat about my completed comeback as I feel these moments of joy have been few and far between for my recent fantasy career." - Mark Babel
Week Seven Recap
Allen def. Kevin, 78.02-77.73:
Let's get this one out of the way: 0.29 points represents the fifth-closest final score in Blingaleague history. And of course Kevin would be on the losing end. And in true Allen style, he won this playing a zero (Ladarius Green); it was his pair of Texans (Arian Foster, 15.93, and Andre Johnson, 10.27) that pushed him ahead.
Babel def. Rabbit, 124.99-113.52:
This, obviously, is the comeback referenced in the opening quote. Thanks to the Steelers quick first-half turnaround - specifically Le'Veon Bell's 23.43 points - Mark gave Nick a tough loss. Rabs got 22.45 from Tony Romo and 22.33 from Randall Cobb in the losing effort.
Matt def. Schertz, 84.05-78.03:
As Schertz himself pointed out, a 4-3 Matt is scarier than a 6-1 JuJu. Andre Ellington (18.40) and Jamaal Charles (17.10) led the way for the Hammers, while Matt Forte (24.90) continued his fantasy MVP-calibre year.
Pulley def. Richie, 108.85-67.65:
Pulley's all alone in first place again, once again getting his highest scores from Andrew Luck (21.70), DeMarco Murray (19.33), and Antonio Brown (16.15). Richie at least got 13.35 from Cam Newton.
Derrek def. Dave, 82.37-73.50:
D pulls himself out of the cellar, mainly thanks to Golden Tate's 26.53 points. The Fultzes were hurt by their all-Cincinnati backfield, and Giovani Bernard and Jeremy Hill combined for 3.07 points.
Mike R. def. Ed, 112.39-68.95:
Bernie thrusts himself back into the playoff race! Demaryius Thomas had a huge 34.80-point week. My high scorer was Lamar Miller, with 15.03.
Rob def. Pat, 111.64-81.67:
Peyton Manning (29.80) had a big game, of course. But it was Shane Vereen's 25.77 that got Rob out to a lead he'd never relinquish. Pat at least had decent games from his RBs, Eddie Lacy (13.63) and Chris Ivory (19.10).
Current Standings
More than halfway through the regular season, our playoff line appears...
Pulley, 6-1, 852.68
Rob, 5-2, 754.42
Rabbit, 5-2, 745.46
Schertz, 5-2, 660.19
Dave, 4-3, 788.95
Matt, 4-3, 725.82
Babel, 3-4, 732.05
Mike R., 3-4, 688.54
Ed, 3-4, 630.57
Pat, 3-4, 618.90
Allen, 3-4, 618.33
Kevin, 2-5, 637.77
Derrek, 2-5, 583.18
Richie, 1-6, 573.66
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Babel's 124.99 top the list this week.
Slapped Heartbeat: Richie's been here too frequently; this time, his 67.63 just barely edged out my 68.95.
Weekly MVP: Sammy Watkins's 28.27 were a huge part of Babel's big week.
Misplay of the Week: Kevin sat Russell Wilson on his huge 37.25-point day, opting to play Joe Flacco and his 16.30 instead. (Honorable mention to Schertz, who had his own QB issues (Jay Cutler, 6.80, over Tom Brady, 24.05).)
Week Eight Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-3, 6th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 5-2, 2nd):
Matt leads all-time series, 6-2.
Matt's chances: Improving. While no one was leaving him for dead at 1-3, I'm sure a lot of us were optimistic about a postseason without the Hammers. But for the last two weeks, Matt's been in sixth place, and shows no signs of slowing down. Of course, if Nick Foles's luck regresses, Matt could still wind up on the outside looking in.
Rob's chances: Very good. He's already got five wins and has the third-highest point total in the league, so he'd really have to fall off to miss them. And really, the only way he'll fall off is if Peyton Manning gets hurt, and I'm not going to bet on that.
Pick: THRILLHO.
Other Blingamatches
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 5-2, 3rd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-2, 4th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 2-0.
Rabbit's chances: Solid. Like Rob, he's got five wins and a good point total. And while his roster isn't as stacked as it was in his glory days, it's quite strong.
Schertz's chances: Not as stable as it appears. The five wins help, but getting a win last week would have been huge. His point total is only OK, so he definitely can't afford to drop too many close games.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 3-4, 7th) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-4, 10th):
Pat leads all-time series, 4-1.
Babel's chances: Right where he wants to be, right? Babel has a history of late-season pushes and surprise playoff entries, so being in seventh place now puts him in prime position to make a classic Babel run.
Pat's chances: Somewhat better than previous years. Pat had to be feeling better about a playoff berth than ever before, but then Calvin Johnson had to go and get hurt. Combine that with Drew Brees's and Eddie Lacy's disappointing seasons, and he finds himself in a familiar place: looking up at the contenders.
Pick: Keep Calm and Le'Veon.
BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 4-3, 5th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-4, 11th):
Allen leads all-time series, 5-2.
Dave's chances: The new normal. Remember when Dave was a laughingstock? That now seems like it ages ago, after near miss or two and last year's strong season. And this year looks a lot like last year so far.
Allen's chances: The doctor is out. Remember when Allen used to make the playoffs? This year's been better than last year's trainwreck of a season, but he'll need quite a run to move into the playoffs.
Pick: BANGARANG RUFIO.
Live Commish (Ed, 3-4, 9th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 6-1, 1st):
Ed leads all-time series, 4-2.
Ed's chances: Toasty. This looks like it will finally be the year I miss the playoffs. While Lamar Miller and Philip Rivers have given me more than expected, my pass-catchers have left a lot to be desired, resulting in a pretty lackluster roster.
Pulley's chances: A lock. Six wins. First in points. Yeah, Pulley will make the playoffs.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 1-6, 14th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-4, 8th):
All-time series tied, 1-1.
Richie's chances: Awful. Although he's been better than he was in 2012, Richie's 1-6 record means he'll have to win out to make the playoffs, essentially. Do you see that happening?
Mike R.'s chances: Showing some life. Mike's week seven victory kept him within shouting distance of the playoffs, and having Demaryius Thomas means he'll have a fighting chance most weeks (despite his usually problematic RBs).
Pick: DICK ARMOUR.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-5, 12th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-5, 13th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 5-1.
Kevin's chances: Almost nil. While Kevin's certainly capable of going on a run, it's probably time to start looking toward next year. And Rashad Jennings is a step in that direction.
Derrek's chances: Even closer to nil. His point total is so low that he, like Richie, will pretty much have to win out to make the playoffs. Adrian Peterson really screwed his season over.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Closing Thoughts
Week seven, 2014, was the twelfth-lowest scoring of all-time, and week seven historically is the lowest-scoring week.
Eddo