The Sanderson Gazette - 2014-11-05 - Coming Home
Four weeks left before the postseason begins. Who's still alive? Everyone! I mean, technically, that's true.
Week Nine Recap
Rabbit def. Pulley, 141.76-112.70:
So Rabs has finally caught Pulley atop the standings, though Pulley has the total points tiebreaker. Ben Roethlisberger (36.10) had his second straight enormous week, and Marshawn Lynch (28.83) was no slouch, either. Pulley got his usual 33.20 from Andrew Luck, couldn't overcome a negative defensive performance (Washington, -2.00) this week.
Richie def. Dave, 133.95-106.27:
Our much-maligned friend Richie is now on a winning streak! And almost Team Blangums, to boot. All his WRs - Julian Edelman (23.87), DeAndre Hopkins (21.33), and Odell Beckham, Jr. (20.80) - broke the twenty-point barrier. The Fultzes, meanwhile, got a surprising 28.60 from Jeremy Hill and 17.40 from Teddy Bridgewater, but take the tough loss nonetheless.
Babel def. Derrek, 100.76-68.29:
Our very own Mark's turnaround continues, thanks to another great game from Jeremy Maclin (33.07), and he finds himself in the playoff picture. Derrek's forgettable season continues, epitomized by Eddie Royal's 0.00 this week.
Matt def. Kevin, 98.60-91.06:
While edging out Kevin might have kept Matt in third place, it also could prove to be a pyrrhic victory. Nick Foles (6.30) left his game early, and appears to be out for at least four weeks. DeSean Jackson did have 22.00 for the Hammers. Kevin was led by Jimmy Graham's 17.07, and while he didn't have any truly bad players, didn't have any other standouts.
Rob def. Schertz, 82.06-74.25:
Tom Brady (30.05) may have beaten Peyton Manning (25.20) in real life, but Rob took the Blingaleague version Only four other players reached double figures in this dud of a game.
Mike R. def. Allen, 91.71-63.43:
Carson Palmer's 20.25 paced Bernie, but this matchup was more about Allen's poor showing. Andre Johnson (1.60), Knile Davis (0.90), and Ladarius Green (0.00) all failed to break the two-point barrier for Dr. Clark.
Ed def. Pat, 93.61-51.98:
Emmanuel Sanders's 20.13 paced yours truly, but this matchup was more about Pat's poor showing. Daniel Thomas (2.67), James Jones (2.40), Chris Ivory (2.20), Jace Amaro (0.00), and Nick Novak (0.00) all failed to break the three-point barrier for Mr. Gawne.
Current Standings
Pulley, 7-2, 1077.18
Rabbit, 7-2, 1041.08
Matt, 6-3, 947.94
Rob, 6-3, 912.99
Babel, 5-4, 983.81
Schertz, 5-4, 834.39
Dave, 4-5, 993.49
Mike R., 4-5, 875.71
Ed, 4-5, 828.58
Allen, 4-5, 790.04
Richie, 3-6, 805.23
Pat, 3-6, 789.1
Derrek, 3-6, 783.7
Kevin, 2-7, 822.58
Playoff Scenarios
Pulley clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win AND a Dave/Ed tie AND an Allen loss.
Rabbit clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win AND a Dave/Ed tie AND a Mike R. loss.
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Two weeks in a row for Rabs; he had 141.76 this time.
Slapped Heartbeat: Pat's 51.98 brings up the rear for week nine.
Weekly MVP: Big Ben, fantasy stud! Roethlisberger had 36.10, thanks to another six-touchdown game.
Misplay of the Week: Playing Anquan Boldin's 18.40 over Keenan Allen's 6.27 or Mike Wallace's 6.67 would have netted Kevin a big upset.
Week Ten Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Live Commish (Ed, 4-5, 9th) vs. BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 4-5, 7th):
Ed leads all-time series, 5-3.
A seventh-vs.-ninth place matchup doesn't scream "Game of the Week", but one, look at the rest of the matchups, and two, this is effectively a playoff elimination game.
The Fultz brothers have Jordy Nelson (vs. CHI) back from his bye and A.J. Green (vs. CLE) back from injury, which has to be encouraging. Having to play Toby Gerhart (vs. DAL) and Allen Robinson (vs. DAL - and seriously, his name is Allen!) has to be deflating.
Meanwhile, I'm resorting to play Mark Sanchez (vs. CAR) at QB.
Pick: BANGARANG RUFIO.
Other Blingamatches
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 7-2, 1st) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 4-5, 8th):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 4-3.
Andrew Luck is on bye for Pulley. Uh oh. But Antonio Brown gets to play the Jets. Woo hoo! For Bernie, Aaron Rodgers gets to play the Bears. Double woo hoo!
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 7-2, 2nd) vs. Optimus Prime (4-5, 10th):
All-time series tied, 3-3.
Would you have guessed these two are .500 against each other? This one looks to be a laugher in Nick's favor, though. He's got Ben Roethlisberger against the hapless Jets, while Allen won't have Arian Foster or Andre Johnson, as Houston's on their bye.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 3-6, 11th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 6-3, 4th):
Richie leads all-time series, 2-0.
Rob finally beat an expansion team in week nine, can he knock off the other this week? Or will Richie build two three-game winning streaks? LeSean McCoy (vs. CAR) might have finally woken up for Richie, but his other breakout player, Odell Beckham, Jr. (@SEA), has a poor matchup. Meanwhile, Rob has Peyton Manning against the Raiders.
Pick: THRILLHO.
Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-6, 12th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-4, 6th):
All-time series tied, 1-1.
Schertz gets Jay Cutler and Matt Forte back this week (both @GB). But that also means Pat gets to send Eddie Lacy against the Bears. Juju really needs this win to solidify his playoff position, while Pat's trying to end a four-game losing streak.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-3, 3rd) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 3-6, 13th):
Matt leads all-time series, 5-3.
I fear we've awoken a sleeping giant.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-7, 14th) vs. Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 5-4, 5th):
All-time series tied, 3-3.
Babel's hot, while Kevin's not. The former is thanks in large part to Jeremy Maclin (vs. CAR) and Le'Veon Bell (@NYJ). The latter is due to underwhelming seasons from Keenan Allen (bye) and Mike Wallace (@DET), and also some poor timing. But what else is new for Kevin?
Pick: Keep Calm and Le'Veon.
Closing Thoughts
Nine weeks in, and the only way anyone clinches a playoff spot is if a game ends in a tie. Yet another competitive year in the Blingaleague.
EWG