The Sanderson Gazette - 2014-11-12 - And Then There Were Three
Three weeks left, and the postseason picture is as murky as ever.
Week Ten Recap
Rabbit def. Allen, 98.82-97.34:
A DeAngelo Williams (3.37) fumble propelled Rabbit into first place this week. Allen put together a pretty good challenge, thanks in large part to the Cardinals' defense (25.00), but Marshawn Lynch (41.07) was just too good for Nick.
Mike R. def Pulley, 106.88-94.59:
No Andrew Luck meant bad news for Pulley, who now finds himself on a two-game losing streak. Bernie was led by Aaron Rodgers's 39.75 game, overcoming Michael Floyd's 1.47. Pulley's only dud was Wes Welker (3.20), but he had no one break twenty points.
Derrek def. Matt, 94.20-85.66:
D pulled the big upset that Allen couldn't, and it was due to a balanced effort. No one scored twenty points for either side, and the four sub-three-point players were split evenly amongst them.
Kevin def. Babel, 133.27-71.77:
Whoa, Kevin. Despite a very poor start (Cincinnati defense, 1.00), Kevin put up huge numbers this week. No one player stood out, as Martevius Bryant (25.07) and Jimmy Graham (22.13) were the only two twenty-pointers for Mr. Pattermann. Babel had his own poor start (Andy Dalton, -2.90), and his only ten-pointer was Dez Bryant (33.07).
Dave def. Ed, 120.93-100.53:
Jordy Nelson (32.27) and the Philadelphia defense (30.00) put this one away for the Fultzes, despite my own late-game efforts from Brandon Marshall (20.93) and Mark Sanchez (23.50). Otherwise, neither one of us had a very good week.
Pat def. Schertz, 110.01-82.61:
Pat kept his playoff hopes alive, while Juju saw his take a huge hit. Eddie Lacy's 20.00 was the high score in this one, while both defenses (Green Bay for Pat, Cleveland for Mike) put up identical 17.00s.
Rob def. Richie, 127.40-82.49:
The only exciting part of this game was Kelvin Benjamin (21.33) giving Rob a garbage-time shot at Team Blangums.
Current Standings
We have nine teams between four and six wins, so there are a lot of possiblities still in play. Will a six-win team make the playoffs this year?
Rabbit, 8-2, 1139.90 (still plays: Mike R., Rob, Pat)
Pulley, 7-3, 1171.77 (Allen, Schertz, Rob)
Rob, 7-3, 1040.39 (Babel, Rabbit, Pulley)
Matt, 6-4, 1033.60 (Richie, Ed, Mike R.)
Dave, 5-5, 1114.42 (Pat, Babel, Kevin)
Babel, 5-5, 1055.58 (Rob, Dave, Ed)
Mike R., 5-5, 982.59 (Rabbit, Derrek, Matt)
Schertz, 5-5, 917.00 (Derrek, Pulley, Richie)
Ed, 4-6, 929.11 (Kevin, Matt, Babel)
Pat, 4-6, 899.11 (Dave, Allen, Rabbit)
Allen, 4-6, 887.38 (Pulley, Pat, Derrek)
Derrek, 4-6, 877.90 (Schertz, Mike R., Allen)
Kevin, 3-7, 955.85 (Ed, Richie, Dave)
Richie, 3-7, 887.72 (Matt, Kevin, Schertz)
Playoff Scenarios
Eight wins is huge. And week twelve's Dave-Babel matchup ensures that at least one of our current 5-5 teams won't get there.
Rabbit clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win or tie
OR
- a Schertz loss or tie.
Pulley clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win AND a Mike R. loss or tie
OR
- a win AND a Schertz loss or tie
OR
- a tie AND a loss by at least two of Dave, Babel, Mike R., and Schertz.
Rob clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win AND a Dave loss or tie
OR
- a win AND a Mike R. loss or tie
OR
- a win AND a Schertz loss or tie
OR
- a tie AND a loss by at least two of Dave, Mike R., and Schertz.
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Kevin partially salvages a crappy season with a 133.27 in week ten.
Slapped Heartbeat: In a rare single-game high-low, Babel's heartbeat was slapped, with a 71.77.
Weekly MVP: Marshawn Lynch's 41.07 take this for Rabs for the second week in a row.
Start of the Week: Rabs played the Baltimore defense (13.00) over the Denver defense (7.00) and eked out a win.
Misplay of the Week: Matt got cute and played Percy Harvin (6.37) over Mike Evans (22.67). Oops.
Week Eleven Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 5-5, 6th) vs. THRILLHO (Rob, 7-3, 3rd):
Babel leads all-time series, 4-3.
Babel still plays: Rob, Dave, Ed.
Rob still plays: Babel, Rabbit, Pulley.
What Babel needs: To put week ten behind him. Mark had been hot, but had his heartbeat slapped. Rebounding against Rob won't be easy, and if he fails, he will likely have to win out to make the playoffs.
What Rob needs: Probably just the one win. Looking at that future schedule, this week should be his best chance. And going over his roster shows that he's weak outside of his Broncos (Peyton Manning and Julius Thomas, @STL).
Pick: Keep Calm and Le'Veon.
Other Blingamatches
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 8-2, 1st) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 5-5, 7th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-3.
Rabbit still plays: Mike R., Rob, Pat.
Mike R. stil plays: Rabbit, Derrek, Matt.
What Rabbit needs: Very little. Pat is probably the only gimme on his schedule, but with eight wins already, Rabs will be returning to the playoffs.
What Mike R. needs: At least two wins. Since he trails two of his fellow 5-5ers considerably in points, Bernie can't afford to lose two games. Which means he'll need to take at least one against the two traditional powers on his schedule.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
D's Nuts (Derrek, 4-6, 12th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-5, 8th):
All-time series tied, 1-1.
Derrek still plays: Schertz, Mike R., Kevin.
Schertz still plays: Derrek, Pulley, Richie.
What Derrek needs: A miracle. He's only one game out of the playoffs, but would have to jump five other teams. Which means (a) winning out and (b) scoring at least 150 points each week. Not going to happen.
What Schertz needs: To get back on track. Juju was 5-1, but has lost four in a row. Luckily, he has the 12th- and 14th-place teams still on his schedule.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 5-5, 5th) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 4-6, 10th):
Dave leads all-time series, 3-2.
Dave still plays: Pat, Babel, Kevin.
Pat still plays: Dave, Allen, Rabbit.
What Dave needs: 2013 to be the new normal. While Dave finished strong last year, previous opportunities to make the playoffs (two up with two to go in 2012) ended in collapses. He has the easiest remaining schedule of playoff hopefuls, so the pressure is on.
What Pat needs: A lot to break his way. While Rabbit looms in Rivalry Week, Pat's other two games are definitely very winnable. So if Drew Brees (vs. CIN), Eddie Lacy (vs. PHI), and Calvin Johnson (@ARI) live up to their lofty expectations, Pat could very well sneak into the playoffs.
Pick: Vinegar Strokes.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 7-3, 2nd) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 4-6, 11th):
Pulley leads all-time series, 4-3.
Pulley still plays: Allen, Schertz, Rob.
Allen still plays: Pulley, Pat, Derrek.
What Pulley needs: Like Rob, a win. One win will do. And this week, he plays Allen. Hooray!
What Allen needs: Like D, a miracle. And his schedule is certainly favorable. But with his two Baltimore Smith WRs on bye this week, I say his season ends here. Or, perhaps more accurately, when DeAngelo Williams fumbled two nights ago.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-4, 4th) vs. DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 3-7, 14th):
Matt leads all-time series, 2-0.
Matt still plays: Richie, Ed, Mike R.
Richie still plays: Matt, Kevin, Schertz.
What Matt needs: Two wins, though one might do. Matt's a game up on the final playoff spot, but point-wise, he could be caught without anything crazy happening. So getting to eight wins is paramount.
What Richie needs: To go back in time and pick Forte or Lynch. While no one doubted Richie's choice of LeSean McCoy (@GB) with the #1 overall pick, it wound up torpedoing his season.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Live Commish (Ed, 4-6, 9th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-7, 13th):
Ed leads all-time series, 5-4.
Ed still plays: Kevin, Matt, Babel.
Kevin still plays: Ed, Richie, Dave.
What Ed needs: A good deal of luck. I'm in the best position of the 4-6 teams, but that's not saying much, as my point total is too low to be a real threat.
What Kevin needs: Another keeper, perhaps? Yeah, that's really all he can shoot for from here on out. At least he'll have a $10 Team Blangums coming his way.
Pick: Live Commish.
Closing Thoughts
The trade deadline is Saturday.
Ed