Week twelve had it all - a big comeback, a close game between teams fighting for a playoff berth, three 100-point losers, and a scenario that even your commish couldn't see coming. It all set up the biggest do-or-die Rivalry Week we've yet to see.

Week Twelve Recap

Rob def. Rabbit, 129.19:

First: the comeback. Heading into the second Monday night game, Rabs had a 34-point lead (thanks mainly to Tony Romo (25.55) and T.Y. Hilton (23.77)). But Jimmy Graham (18.27) and especially Justin Forsett (31.27) came through for Rob, getting him not only a win, but a Team Blangums and a clinched playoff spot.

Dave def. Babel, 105.32-103.22:

Now this is how a battle between two 6-5 teams should play out. Dave, like Rabs, had a lead he could feel comfortable in on Sunday night. But then Dez Bryant (23.47) broke through for Mark, and the Bills-Jets Monday night game became huge. Fred Jackson put up 10.93 for Babel, but Sammy Waktins's 4.67 was just enough for the Fultzes to retain their lead... and clinch a playoff berth.

Ed def. Matt, 120.42-84.24:

The Hammers lost their third straight game in embarrassing fashion. Matt out to a good lead, thanks to Jamaal Charles's 19.60 on Thursday, but only one of his Sunday players (Julio Jones, 15.07) broke the ten-point barrier. By the time Drew Brees scored 28.50 on Monday, this one was over. I (finally) made the right call starting Isaiah Crowell (20.80) and Marques Colston (16.93).

Mike R. def. Derrek, 114.05-70.95:

Demaryius Thomas's three touchdowns led to 29.60 points and Buffalo's defense put up 24.00 as Bernie routed D, elminating the latter from the playoffs and ending his late-season hot streak. Andrew Luck (12.55) had a disappointing week for Derrek.

Pulley def. Schertz, 101.83-89.67:

Pulley officially clinched a playoff berth despite having the lowest winning score of the week. Cody Parkey's 20.00 helped break the MondoSquad's three-game losing streak, and his defense (Dallas, 0.00) finally avoided a negative score. Meanwhile, Juju dropped his seventh straight game, officially knocking himself out of a once-near-sure playoff spot.

Richie def. Kevin, 115.73-102.98:

Richie's having a nice little run to end the season, and it looks like he's found another sweet keeper in Odell Beckham, Jr. (31.27). LeSean McCoy (19.13) had a good game, which must be frustrating for Richie. Kevin played no one at TE thanks to a mobile app mishap, the second time he's suffered that fate this year (you know what they say, "Fool me once, shame on you...").

Pat def. Allen, 108.16-69.67:

Eddie Lacy (26.23), Delanie Walker (20.67), and Eli Manning (24.90) all had good weeks for Pat. Allen - who played Arian Foster (0.00) - clearly didn't check his lineup this week.

Current Standings

1. (b) Rabbit, 9-3, 1353.15

2. (*) Pulley, 8-4, 1349.75

3. (*) Rob, 8-4, 1250.73

4. (*) Dave, 7-5, 1326.11

5. Babel, 6-6, 1262.66

6. Matt, 6-6, 1209.16

7. Mike R., 6-6, 1171.40

8. Ed, 6-6, 1143.18

9. (e) Pat, 5-7, 1111.04

10. (e) Richie, 5-7, 1100.39

11. (e) Schertz, 5-7, 1081.28

12. (e) Derrek, 5-7, 1052.87

13. (e) Allen, 5-7, 1034.33

14. (e) Kevin, 3-9, 1103.44

(*) - clinched a plyoff berth

(b) - clinched a first-round bye

(e) - eliminated from playoff contention

Playoff Scenarios

Rabbit has clinched a first-round bye.

Rabbit clinches the #1 overall seed with:

• a win or tie

OR

• a Pulley/Rob tie.

Pulley has clinched a playoff berth.

Pulley clinches a first-round bye with:

• a win or tie.

Rob has clinched a playoff berth.

Rob clinches a first-round bye with:

• a win.

Dave has clinched a playoff berth.

Babel clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win or tie.

Matt clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win or tie.

Mike R. clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win.

Ed clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win.

(Kevin, Allen, Derrek, Schertz, Richie, and Pat have been eliminated from playoff contention.)

Playoff Scenarios, Part II

We probably don't need this section, given how simple the above scenarios are.

Rabbit can fall out of the #1 overall seed if he loses and Pulley wins while outscoring him by four points.

Pulley and Rob are playing for a bye. Full stop. If Rob wins, Pulley falls to the #3 seed, but could possibly get passed by Dave and fall all the way to #4. If Pulley wins, Rob will stay at #3 only if Dave doesn't win, as it's very unlikely he can catch the Fultzes in points.

While Yahoo! doesn't realize that Dave has clinched, he has. Due to the schedule this week, only two other teams can reach the seven-win level, so Dave cannot fall to seventh place. He's also pretty locked into the #4 seed, though Babel could pass him.

But the best part is this: last week shook out perfectly so that two rivalry games are win-and-in propositions. The Babel/Ed winner makes the playoffs (Babel almost certainly as #5, Ed as #6), as does the Matt/Mike R. winner (as the #5 or #6, depending on the other game).

We have never had a final week like this.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Rob nabs his first Team Blangums of the year, with a nice 129.19.

Slapped Heartbeat: Allen deserved this with a 69.67, considering he didn't remove the injured Arian Foster from his lineup.

Weekly MVP: Jutin Forsett's 31.27 propelled Rob to a $10 prize.

Start of the Week: Nothing obvious here, so I'll give Richie credit for not playing Jonas Gray's 0.00, understanding that Bill Belichick hates us all.

Misplay of the Week: Babel could have played the Seattle defense (14.00) over Houston (9.00) or Greg Jennings (11.07) over Doug Baldwin (0.80). He lost by 2.10.

Week Thirteen Preview

Games of the Blingaweek

The Clash of Hatred: Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 8-4, 2nd) vs. Pulley Sucks (Rob, 8-4, 3rd):

Rob leads all-time series, 7-4.

Last year, they played for a bye, then met in the playoffs. This year, they'll be playing for a bye. Will history repeat itself?

Pulley gets his Steelers (Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Brown, both vs. NO) back this week. Rob might be playing two Patriots RBs (Shane Vereen, LeGarrette Blount, both @GB). He'll need Peyton Manning (@KC) to put up a big game to win this one.

Also, would you have thought Rob had a three-game lead in this series? Me neither.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-6, 6th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 6-6, 7th):

Matt leads all-time series, 6-3.

Five of those six Matt wins have been in the five previous Rivalry Weeks (we didn't start them until 2009). So yeah, it would be really sweet for Mike to get this one.

Both Matt and Mike are looking for their own threepeat. Matt's is the traditional one - three straight Sanderson Cups - while Mike is looking for his third-straight playoff berth.

As for this game, Yahoo! likes Matt. He has Drew Brees (@PIT), Jamaal Charles (vs. DEN), and the Detroit defense (vs. CHI). Bernie will send out Demaryius Thomas (@KC) and new addition Giovani Bernard (@TB).

Though I broke this rule last week - with good results - I have to pick Matt.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Live Commish (Ed, 6-6, 8th) vs. Keep Calm and Le'Veon (Babel, 6-6, 5th):

Babel leads all-time series, 7-3.

Like Matt with Mike, Babel's always had my number in week thirteen (and won a sweet Old School Timberwolves Hat while doing so!). My only Rivalry Week win was in 2011, which actually got me the #1 overall seed and knocked Mark out of the playoffs.

We've arrived in this situation in very different ways. My team has underwhelmed all year, but has won two in a row. Babel had a nice midseason surge that put him in good position, but has lost two of three.

To me, it looks like Babel's team's namesake, Le'Veon Bell (vs. NO), will be the difference in this one.

Pick: Keep Calm and Le'Veon.

And the Rest

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 9-3, 1st) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 5-7, 9th):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 7-1.

Ah, the Penn State/Michigan State "rivalry" of the Blingaleague! All Rabs needs to do to get the #1 overall seed is to win.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

DICK ARMOUR (Richie, 5-7, 10th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-7, 11th):

All-time series tied, 1-1.

Ah, the Rutgers/Maryland "rivalry" of the Blingaleague!

Pick: DICK ARMOUR.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 5-7, 12th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 5-7, 13th):

Allen leads all-time series, 6-5.

This is our only rivalry that matches the Clash of Hatred in number of games and the only one that can come close in intensity.

Pick: D's Nuts.

The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-9, 14th) vs. BANGARANG RUFIO (Dave, 7-5, 4th):

Kevin leads all-time series, 7-2.

Dave's clinched a playoff spot. Kevin's clinched last place.

Pick: BANGARANG RUFIO.

Closing Thoughts

One thing we all need to figure out: where we're watching Blingabowl VII. I'll volunteer my place unless someone else's is more convenient.

Eddo

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