The Sanderson Gazette - 2015-11-11 - Projected
This week comes in at #7 all-time in average score, at 108.57.
Week Nine Recap
Schertz def. Ed, 163.14-104.14:
And BOOM, Schertz blows up this week. Stephon Diggs scored 5.60, but he was the only disappointment. Antonio Brown put up 38.07, Delanie Walker 26.67, and Michael Crabtree 26.40. I took the tough loss despite Andy Dalton's 22.20 and Greg Zeurlein's 16.00.
Derrek def. Richie, 93.50-91.82:
And BOOM, Derrek moves into a playoff spot. Andrew Luck scored 23.00 and Frank Gore put up 16.83. Richie did get 24.70 from DeMarco (DeDano?) Murray, but a big 0.00 from Robbie Gould (more on that later). Derrek would make the playoffs as of right now, which would put him on pace for the second-lowest playoff total score of all time.
Mike R. def. Kevin, 105.12-75.18:
This one was close until Monday night. Then Bernie got touchdowns from Danny Woodhead (19.70) and Martellus Bennett (13.60), while Kevin got an injury from Malcom Floyd (0.00). Oh, and Dez Bryant (19.87) is back for Mike.
Matt def. Rob, 115.65-92.99:
Lamar Miller (29.33) put up another big game, but Matt's MVP was Cam Newton (36.55). For Rob, Aaron Rodgers (31.65) managed to do better than Blake Bortles (see recap of Dave's game), shockingly, but that couldn't offset a bad early start from Travis Benjamin (2.93) and Gary Barnidge (4.67).
Pulley def. Allen, 154.91-98.52:
DeAngelo Williams scored 38.33, James Starks scored 20.97, and Adrian Peterson scored 20.90, as Pulley rode his RBs to victory. Meanwhile, Allen got 4.67 from Rashad Jennings and -1.00 from Eddie Lacy, wasting Sammy Watkins's 28.40 in the process.
Dave def. Rabbit, 130.72-116.67:
With the playoffs possibly on the line, Dave chose Blake Bortles (18.25) over Aaron Rodgers (see recap of Rob's game). Oops. Tyler Eifert's 25.07 and Jeremy Langford's 24.53 saved the day, however. Rabs did get 31.25 from Drew Brees in the loss.
Pat def. Babel, 101.17-76.41:
Week 12, 2012: Pat defeats Babel, putting the latter at long odds to make the playoffs. Mark went onto the Blingabowl that year, however; will this year follow suit? Pat got 18.27 from Mike Evans, 17.73 from Amari Cooper, and a nice 17.53 from Chris Ivory in a rebound performance. Babel did get 19.20 from Randall Cobb, but that couldn't offset some rough RB performances from Ronnie Hillman (0.10) and Doug Martin (2.70).
Current Standings
Pulley, 8-1, 1081.39
Mike R., 7-2, 902.49
Matt, 6-3, 973.57
Schertz, 6-3, 907.13
Rob, 5-4, 1021.81
Derrek, 5-4, 790.22
Dave, 4-5, 977.99
Richie, 4-5, 949.92
Babel, 4-5, 895.21
Rabbit, 4-5, 878.97
Ed, 3-6, 835.66
Pat, 3-6, 756.75
Kevin, 2-7, 740.76
Allen, 2-7, 709.27
Playoff Scenarios
Pulley clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win or tie.
Mike R. clinches a playoff berth with:
- a win AND a Dave loss or tie AND a Richie loss or tie AND a Babel loss or tie AND a Rabbit loss or tie
OR
- a tie AND a Dave loss AND a Richie loss AND a Babel loss AND a Rabbit loss.
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Schertz's 163.14 is the eleventh-highest score of all time.
Slapped Heartbeat: Kevin's 75.18 isn't particularly bad for a Slapped Heartbeat, but it still gets the award.
Weekly MVP: Cam Newton's 36.55 proved critical in Matt's defeat of Rob.
Dud of the week: Ronnie Hillman's 0.10 doesn't seem real. I'm sure Babel wishes it wasn't.
Blessed Cahoots: When your opponent sends out Robbie Gould, one of the most accurate kickers of all time, and only needs one field goal to win, and Gould misses BOTH his kicks, well, all you can say is "Blessed cahoots!" Derrek certainly must be right now.
Week Ten Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 7-2, 2nd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 6-3, 4th):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 2-1.
Bernie is 7-2 and in line for a bye. That's good! But he has to play Kirk Cousins this week. That's bad. But Cousins plays against the Saints. That's good! But Dion Lewis is on IR. That's bad. But Dez Bryant is back. Can I go now?
JuJu's has his own injury to worry about: Ben Roethlisberger. And Antonio Brown (vs. CLE) is still a great WR, but has been much more mortal without Big Ben. Can Joe Flacco (vs. JAC) fill in admirably?
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Other Blingamatches
Bent Over by Beckham (Rob, 5-4, 5th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 5-4, 6th):
Rob leads all-time series, 6-3.
Rob's QB, Aaron Rodgers, plays the Lions, while Derrek just lost Andrew Luck for 2-6 weeks. Teddy Bridgewater (@OAK) doesn't sound nearly as good. Todd Gurley (vs. CHI) also goes for Rob, while Derrek's top RB, Frank Gore, is on bye.
Pick: Bent Over by Beckham.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 6-3, 3rd) vs. Dread Pirate Kelly (Richie, 4-5, 8th):
Matt leads all-time series, 2-1.
Yahoo's projections love Richie's team this week, and I can't say I blame them. Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski @NYG, DeMarco Murray vs. MIA, Jonathan Stewart @TEN... I could go on. Matt does have Cam Newton going against the same Titans defense, but I don't like the rest of his team quite so much.
Pick: Dread Pirate Kelly.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 8-1, 1st) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 3-6, 12th):
Pulley leads all-time series, 5-1.
Pat's improved quite a bit lately, but is he anywhere close to Pulley? He does have Mike Evans (vs. DAL) and Amari Cooper (vs. MIN) going, and Chris Ivory (vs. BUF) has been good all year. Pulley, of course, has Adrian Peterson (@OAK) and DeAngelo Williams (vs. CLE), both of whom he just received from Pat.
Pick: Vinegar Strokes.
Live Commish (Ed, 3-6, 11th) vs. Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 4-5, 7th):
Ed leads all-time series, 5-4.
Dave really needs to win to keep his playoff hopes alive, but his prize acquisition Devonta Freeman is on bye. If Jeremy Langford (@STL) can repeat last week, he'll be in good shape. Andy Dalton (vs. HOU) has a juicy matchup on my side.
Pick: Live Commish.
Keep Calm & Le'Veon (Babel, 4-5, 9th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-7, 14th):
Babel leads all-time series, 6-3.
Sammy Watkins (@NYJ) finally exploded for Allen, but his matchup this week isn't so great. On Babel's side, A.J. Green (vs. HOU) has a much better one.
Pick: Keep Calm & Le'Veon.
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-5, 10th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-7, 13th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 4-3.
Rabs isn't out of the playoff hunt yet, but his lower point total means he can't afford to drop more than one more game. That means it's good that Drew Brees (@WAS) has been red hot lately. Kevin's looking good at QB, too, as he's got Derek Carr (vs. MIN) as a potential keeper.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Closing Thoughts
This is the best time of the year - playoff scenarios are in full swing (and the reason I started the Gazette in the first place)!
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