"Less losses = victory." - Mike R. (truly his is a dizzying intellect)

Semifinals Recap

Schertz def. Rob, 128.72-103.39:

Did I say that Schertz had a bad matchup for his Steelers? Oops. Antonio Brown (37.20) and Ben Roethlisberger (23.70) powered JuJu to his first Blingabowl appearance. Delanie Walker added 20.53 for Mike, while Rob was led by the New England defense's 18.00 (and had no twenty-point scorers).

Pulley def. Richie, 77.17-47.17:

The less said about this one, the better. Both guys played without their kickers, but still - yikes! Pulley had only three double-digit scorers (led by Tom Brady's 19.35), while Richie had only two (with Carson Palmer's 15.70 pacing his team).

A Gazette Haiku

Courtesy of Adam Pulley:

50 shades of pulley

Thats me involved in sex stuff

Toilet typing

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Schertz' 128.72 got the job done.

Slapped Heartbeat: Richie's 47.17 is the lowest playoff score on record.

Weekly MVP: It's Antonio Brown's world, we're just living in it; the Pittsburgh WR scored 37.20 for Schertz.

Dud of the Week: The Carolina defense had a bad week at the wrong time, putting up -3.00 for Richie.

Season Postmortems

Richie Armour (Dread Pirate Kelly, 8-7, 3rd/4th):

Richie broke 100 points eight times, 97 two more times, and only scored less than 90 twice. And yet he lost six games. He had the strongest WR corps in the league for most of the year, and parlayed Odell Bekcham, Jr. into Rob Gronkowski. But Julian Edelman's ill-timed injury ultimately was too much to overcome.

Expected wins: 7.799.

Rob Gross (Deandre Hopkins, 8-7, 3rd/4th):

Rob's year had a lot of high points: he broke 100 nine times, including six weeks in a row beginning in week three. He cracked 125 four times. In fact, he never had a sub-25% expected winning percentage until weeks twelve and thirteen, both losses.

Expected wins: 8.136.

Blingabowl VII Preview

#1 Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 13-1) vs. #2 schertzopotamus (Schertz, 9-5):

Pulley leads all-time series, 3-1.

If Antonio Brown and Ben Roethlisberger can combine for nearly sixty points against the league's top defense, what can they do @BAL? That has to scare Pulley. Throw in the Steelers defense (@BAL), Michael Crabtree (vs. SD), and Darren McFadden (@BUF), and Schertz has to like his matchups this week.

And he'll need it, because Pulley's team is pretty awesome. Tom Brady might not have his best game @NYJ, but he's still Tom Brady. DeAngelo Williams is @BAL and Adrian Peterson (vs. NYG) is still Adrian Peterson. The only thing that should concern Pulley is whether or not Calvin Johnson's recent lackluster play is a permanent trend.

Pulley predicted this will come down to whether or not Eric Decker gets a touchdown. I'm going to be he does not.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Third-Place Game Preview

#5 Deandre Hopkins (Rob, 8-7) vs. #6 Dread Pirate Kelly (Richie, 8-7):

Richie leads all-time series, 3-1.

Richie's team is in shambles, so I guess I'll go with Rob by default.

Pick: Deandre Hopkins.

Closing Thoughts

Matt def. Mike R. in the fifth-place game, 163.96-136.10.

It's been a great year.

Ed

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