The Sanderson Gazette - 2016-09-14 - Enhancements
Some shakeups at the top and bottom of the league after week one...
Week One Recap
Rob def. Mike R., 112.72-111.89:
The 0.83 difference in this game makes it the 21st-closest in league history. It's remarkable that Bernie kept it close despite first-round keeper Dez Bryant (1.07) having a very bad game and second-round pick Keenan Allen (8.40) leaving with a non-contact ACL injury. Rob got 35.15 from Drew Brees and 30.20 from Spencer Ware to offset Todd Gurley's (4.03) poor showing.
Derrek def. Dave, 123.45-112.14:
Look how cool D's score is! And look at how great Andrew Luck (38.35) did! Brandin Cooks added 32.17 for Derrek, causing Dave to be our highest-scoring loser of the week. A.J. Green put up an even 30.00 for the Fultzes, but it wasn't enough.
Schertz def. Rabbit, 135.00-100.02:
Rabs learned the hard way to never count out the combo of Ben Roethlisberger (24.30) and Antonio Brown (28.80). Nick had a lead going into Monday night, but that was quickly lost due to the Steelers' outburst. Rabs had a solid all-around game, still, breaking the hundred-point mark with no twenty-point scorers.
Kevin def. Babel, 119.88-85.32:
@BlingaWoj likes Kevin's team a lot, and he got it right for one week, at least. Derek Carr (25.55) and Amari Cooper (20.27) might not be as good as their Pittsburgh counterparts, but they had a big week. David Johnson's 20.63 put this out of reach on Sunday night. Babel was led by C.J. Anderson's 27.47 on Thursday.
Pat def. Ed, 120.17-99.16:
Keeping Mike Wallace (19.23) looked like a genius move in week one, and also, fuck Willie Snead. The Saints' WR put up 28.93, and Pat cruised to a win. Danny Woodhead (19.03) and Mike Evans (19.20) led the way for @LiveCommish, but Robert Griffin III (9.70) and the Rams defense (-2.00) kept him under the century mark.
Pulley def. Matt, 119.84-76.63:
DeAngelo Williams (30.03) led the way for our reigning champ, and Matt Ryan (26.20) and Carlos Hyde (21.47) also contributed strongly. Matt got 21.60 from Cam Newton, but otherwise disappointed, leading our game of the week to be a yawner.
Richie def. Allen, 85.25-72.19:
Maybe Allen's team isn't as good as we all though.
Current Standings
Schertz, 1-0, 135
Derrek, 1-0, 123.45
Pat, 1-0, 120.17
Kevin, 1-0, 119.88
Pulley, 1-0, 119.84
Rob, 1-0, 112.72
Richie, 1-0, 85.25
Dave, 0-1, 112.14
Mike R., 0-1, 111.89
Rabbit, 0-1, 100.02
Ed, 0-1, 99.16
Babel, 0-1, 85.32
Matt, 0-1, 76.63
Allen, 0-1, 72.19
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Schertz's 135.00 is a good start to the year.
Slapped Heartbeat: Allen's 72.19 comes in as especially disappointing, given his hopes for his team.
Weekly MVP: Andrew Luck (38.35) and Drew Brees (35.15) were critical for Derrek and Rob to take home victories, and will share this award.
Dud of the week: Dez Bryant's 1.07 cost Mike R. greatly.
Misplay of the Week: Dave could have played Theo Riddick (24.90) over Frank Gore (8.43) or Devonta Freeman (4.67) and gained a win, but would anyone really have done that? I'm not sure.
Week Two Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-0, 2nd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 1-0, 1st):
Derrek leads all-time series, 3-1.
Rarely is a Game of the Blingaweek so obvious. Derrek had visions of Team Blangums after the Sunday games, but Schertz's Steelers came through huge
This week, Ben Roethlisberger (vs. CIN) and Antonio Brown (vs. CIN) have tougher matchups, but so does Andrew Luck (@DEN) for D. Derrek's RBs also need to do better moving forward; T.J. Yeldon (@SD) scored a TD last week, but his yardage was poor, and James Starks (@MIN) can't be the answer. Ryan Mathews (@CHI) has a nice matchup for Schertz.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Other Blingamatches
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-0, 4th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-0, 5th):
Pulley leads all-time series, 8-2.
The QBs in this game play against each other: Derek Carr (vs. ATL) for Kevin, Matt Ryan (@OAK) for Pulley. What's nice for Kevin, though, is that his two other Raiders, Amari Cooper and Latavius Murray, also get to play that same Falcon team that Jameis Winston torched last week. Pulley's RBs, so good last week, have tougher matchups in this one: DeAngelo Williams is vs. CIN, and Carlos Hyde is @CAR.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 0-1, 9th) vs. Vinegar Strokes (Pat, 1-0, 3rd):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 5-3.
You would think that Mike Wallace (@CLE) can't do as well as last week, but, hey, he plays the Browns, so that's gotta scare Bernie. Pat also can choose between Matthew Stafford (vs. TEN) and Aaron Rodgers (@MIN), both of whom had very good week ones. Mike's without Keenan Allen for the year, so Dez Bryant (@WAS) can't afford to have many more 1.07-point weeks. But Eli Manning vs. NO - that's a good matchup.
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Keep Calm & Le'Veon (Babel, 0-1, 12th) vs. Not Mos Def (Rob, 1-0, 6th):
Babel leads all-time series, 5-4.
The Dickran Duel is more of an undercard this year, mostly due to Babel's sub-standard week one. He'll have to hope that Randall Cobb (@MIN) and Adrian Peterson (vs. GB) will bounce back on Sunday night. Rob's team looks pretty formidable, with Drew Brees (@NYG) and Delanie Walker (@DET) looking at tasty matchups.
Pick: Not Mos Def.
Live Commish (Ed, 0-1, 11th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 0-1, 10th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-2.
Rabs and I had very similar starts to the year. Very solid totals from our WRs and RBs? Check. Underwhelming QBs? Check. Completely disappointing TEs. Bingo. We both scored between 99 and 101 points, and we both lost by comfortable margins. This week, I like my matchups, such as Odell Beckham, Jr. (vs. NO) and Danny Woodhead (vs. JAC) a little better than Rabbit's (Donte Moncrief @DEN, LeSean McCoy vs. NYJ).
Pick: Live Commish.
Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 0-1, 8th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 0-1, 14th):
Allen leads all-time series, 7-2.
These guys are in familiar positions. Dave was the highest-scoring loser, and Allen's in the cellar. If Russell Wilson plays (@LA), I like Allen. If not, I like Dave.
Pick: Optimus Prime.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 0-1, 13th) vs. Inconceivable (Richie, 1-0, 7th):
Richie leads all-time series, 3-2.
A healthy Rob Gronkowski (vs. MIA) could make all the difference for Richie. Otherwise Matt's own TE (Greg Olsen, vs. SF) could carry the day.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Closing Thoughts
Week one was the fifteenth-highest scoring week of all time.
LiveCommish