For the fifth time ever - and second straight season - our #1 and #2 finishers will meet for the Sanderson Cup.

Semifinals Recap

Kevin def. Schertz, 95.58-80.07:

Kevin needed one receiving yard from Cameron Brate on Sunday night - instead, he got 73 and a touchdown (15.73 points). David Johnson (24.63) had a big week yet again for Mr. Pattermann, who survived a relative down week thanks to Schertz's overall disappointment of a week. Only Ben Roethlisberer (17.30) and Ryan Mathews (21.47) broke the ten-point barrier for JuJu, whose Sanderson dreams end in a whimper.

Rabbit def. Pulley, 139.29-108.60:

Rabs put up the tenth-highest score in playoff history as he reached his record fifth Blingabowl. LeSean McCoy (29.43) and Ty Montgomery (28.33) led a barrage of seven double-figure scorers for Nick. Pulley got 36.80 from Brandin Cooks, but after Tom Brady scored only 8.30 and Carlos Hyde 5.90, he was toast.

Fifth-place Game

Rob def. Babel, 99.38-52.89.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Rabbit scored 139.29.

Slapped Heartbeat: Schertz's 80.07 isn't that bad a score, but it was the worst this week.

Weekly MVP: Brandin Cooks put up 36.80 in a losing effort for Pulley.

Dud of the Week: When the semifinals roll around, you need your best players to produce like stars, but Schertz got only 7.73 from Antonio Brown, 6.00 from T.Y. Hilton, and 5.47 from Travis Kelce.

Season Postmortems

Mike "JuJu" Schertz (schertzopotamus, 8-7, 3rd/4th):

Schertz followed up last year's Blingabowl appearance with another trip to the semifinals. Ben Roethlisberger and Antonio Brown were more up than down, though occasionally they both torpedoed Mike's team. T.Y. Hilton and Travis Kelce were underappreciated studs for a while. Ryan Mathews mixed huge weeks with complete no-shows. It all added up to a team that wasn't quite as good as the sum of its parts, but still one of the top four this season.

Expected wins: 8.0.

Adam Pulley (Pullman's MondoSquad, 9-6, 3rd/4th):

Pulley couldn't repeat, but he's just wrapped up a four-season stretch that included 37 wins, two byes, and one Sanderson Cup. Matt Ryan led the way for the Pullman during Tom Brady's suspension, which resulted in stellar QB play all year. Carlos Hyde defied his team's shittiness and had a very good year. Pulley rolled the dice by trading Ryan, Stefon Diggs, and Martellus Bennett for Allen Robinson, Brandin Cooks, and Andrew Luck, which was filled with disappointment on both sides.

Expected wins: 7.8.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I neglected to include expected win figures in the postmortems last week. Rob had 7.7, Babel had 6.2.

Blingabowl IX Preview

#1 The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 12-2) vs. #2 Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 10-4):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 5-4.

Kevin was the class of the Blingaleague all year. Rabs started 1-4. But for the past several weeks, these two have seemed to be on a collision course to play for Sandy.

All year, Kevin has relied on his Raiders (Derek Carr, Amari Cooper, and Latavius Murray (vs. IND)) and David Johnson (@SEA). The Raiders are on a two-week stretch of disappointing scores, but Johnson seems matchup-proof. Cameron Brate (@NO) has emerged as a very useful TE, and Doug Baldwin (vs. ARI) and Jay Ajayi (@BUF) are still productive, if not at their peak.

Rabs is led by his star RB trio: LeSean McCoy (vs. MIA), Lamar Miller (vs. CIN), and DeMarco Murray (@JAC), who all seem to turn out double-digit weeks without any effort. Philip Rivers (@CLE) has a great matchup, and Michael Crabtree (vs. IND) can help balance out some of Derek Carr's points.

Yahoo projects this game to have a margin of less than one point, and I'm having a hard time seeing much separation, myself. I'll go with the higher seed, but Blingabowl IX is a tossup, my friends.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Third-Place Game Preview

#3 Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 89-6) vs. #5 schertzopotamus (Schertz, 8-7):

Pulley leads all-time series, 5-1.

Schertz is looking for revenge for Blingabowl VIII. Pulley's looking to finish in the money for the fourth straight season.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Closing Thoughts

Good luck to Kevin and Rabs!

Ed

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