The Sanderson Gazette - 2017-09-20 - Still Underwhelming
If last week - average score, 91.92 - was underwhelming, then surely this week - average score, 91.77 - remains so (link). I suppose the good news is they rank 9th and 13th in closest average margin?
Week Two Recap
Schertz def. Kevin, 85.15-80.24:
Our game of the week didn't feature any 90-point scorer, but it stayed close all the way through Monday night. Schertz got 8.60 from Ameer Abdullah and 11.60 from Eric Ebron to pass Kevin. Jimmy Graham's 0.13-point day was the biggest problem Kevin had, though Adam Thielen (3.87) and Amari Cooper (4.40) didnt' help.
Pulley def. Pat, 136.68-96.69:
Pulley had this won during the first quarter of the early Sunday games, when his Tom Brady/Rob Gronkowski combo blew up (they eventually scored 34.25 and 21.47, respectively). Ty Montgomery (25.50) and Aaron Rodgers (20.45) showed up for Pat on Sunday night, but he takes a near-tough loss.
Rabbit def. Richie, 70.45-66.17:
All Richie needed was 4.36 points from Kenny Golladay (1.07) on Monday night. Instead, Rabbit takes home the win with the second-lowest score of the whole week, being led by his special teamers; Matt Bryant scored 14.00 and the Denver defense scored 13.00.
Derrek def. Babel, 122.80-103.30:
D had an explosion after his week one Slapped Heartbeat, getting 28.60 from former Keep-Calmer C.J. Anderson and 28.67 from Michael Crabtree. Kareem Hunt (23.83) continued to produce like mad for Babel, but he didn't get enough support from the rest of his guys.
Dave def. Ed, 97.01-88.60:
Dave didn't come close to Blangums this week, but he did get 22.53 from Devonta Freeman and 19.73 from Travis Kelce. Ed could have used a touchdown from one of Jonathan Stewart (4.00) or Mark Ingram (8.40), whose teams had chances, but couldn't convert.
Rob def. Matt, 93.62-78.20:
Matt took two playing zeroes - Breshard Perriman and Jordy Nelson - and failed to crack 80 points despite the Tampa Bay defense putting up 19.00. Rob got 25.30 from Drew Brees to overcome some less-than-stellar weeks from Brandin Cooks and Christian McCaffrey (5.53 each).
Mike R. def. Allen, 88.46-77.41:
Ezekiel Elliott (2.67) might as well have stayed suspended, given what he did for Allen. Once the Lions decided Matthew Stafford (12.90) didn't need to pass in the second half, Dr. Clark's comeback attempt was over. Bernie got 23.50 from Derek Carr and 12.90 from Mike Gillislee to move to 1-1 on the season.
Current Standings
Dave, 2-0, 217.78
Pulley, 2-0, 213.67
Schertz, 2-0, 206.91
Rob, 2-0, 192.17
Derrek, 1-1, 193.50
Mike R., 1-1, 183.69
Pat, 1-1, 180.21
Kevin, 1-1, 175.98
Allen, 1-1, 173.34
Rabbit, 1-1, 153.34
Babel, 0-2, 198.01
Ed, 0-2, 188.23
Matt, 0-2, 155.31
Richie, 0-2, 139.47
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Pulley's 136.68 led the way in week two.
Slapped Heartbeat: Richie put up a meager 66.17, barely losing his game.
Weekly MVP: Tom Brady (34.25) made quick work of the Saints, and so Pulley made quick work of Pat.
Dud of the Week: Kenny Golladay needed an average week to grab Richie a win; he scored 1.07 instead.
Start of the Week: None of our close-game winners have a worthy pick here, so how about Derrek playing C.J. Anderson's 28.60 in his second flex spot?
Misplay of the Week: Richie could have played Derrick Henry's 15.20 in his flex and gotten a win.
Blessed Cahoots: Rabbit's 70.45 would only win about 12% of games. This was one of those games. (link)
Week Two Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Chili Right Away (Dave, 2-0, 1st) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-1, 5th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 8-1 (link).
Dave and D have two of the four 120-point games this season, and this week could provide more fireworks. The Falcons/Lions game could be critical; Derrek has Matt Ryan and Austin Hooper going, while Dave has Golden Tate and Devonta Freeman.
Dave is one of twelve teams to start 2-0 with between 1.2 and 1.4 wins (link). The bad news is that five of the previous eleven missed the playoffs; the good news is that the three that were also in first place at time all made it.
Dave probably has the edge there, but how will his own QB, Marcus Mariota, do against the traditionally strong Seattle defense? And just how healthy (and effective) is Odell Beckham, Jr. (@PHI)?
But D is not without his own questions. What's up with Le'Veon Bell (@CHI)? Will Michael Crabtree (@WAS) and C.J. Anderson (@BUF) put up points consistently?
Derrek is one of eight teams to start the season almost perfectly mediocre (link) - including our very first Blingabowl champ.
Pick: Chili Right Away.
Other Blingamatches
Keep Calm & GordOn (Babel, 0-2, 11th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-0, 3rd):
Schertz leads all-time series, 5-0 (link).
This is a notable matchup - Schertz is the only active Blingaleaguer that remains undefeated against another.
Babel is one of two teams to start 0-2, but have an expected winning percentage around .500 (link). Schertz's similarity cohort also contains a Babel team (link).
As for this matchup, Leonard Fournette goes up against the awesome Ravens defense for Babel, while Schertz will send out that same defense against the Jaguars.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-1, 8th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 2-0, 2nd):
Pulley leads all-time series, 8-3 (link).
Pulley's team is similar to Schertz's (link). Kevin's outlook is much less promising, with only 2012 Ed and 2014 Rabs making the playoffs among similar teams (link).
This game probably comes down to just how hurt Rob Gronkowski (vs. HOU) and Rob Kelley (vs. OAK) are for Pulley. (As an aside, is it weird that Pulley has two Robs starting for him, despite our Rob being his sworn enemy?) If they aren't at full strength, it will be tough for him to overcome DeAndre Hopkins (@NE), Amari Cooper (@WAS), and Jay Ajayi (@NYJ).
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Rob for Today (Rob, 2-0, 4th) vs. Noodles and Vistas (Pat, 1-1, 7th):
Rob leads all-time series, 6-2 (link).
Rob's 2-0, but with a below .500 expected winning percentage. How does that play out historically? Not so bad; two of the previous three finished in the money (link). Pat's comps are really similar to Kevin's, which means he shouldn't be too optimistic (link).
This week is rare: Rob's QB (Drew Brees, @CAR) will be outclassed by his opponent's (Aaron Rodgers, vs. CIN). But the Saints are probalby just the opponent Christian McCaffrey needs to break out.
Pick: Rob for Today.
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 1-1, 6th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-1, 10th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 6-4 (link).
Mike's got a little bit better record than Pat, but he loses the best of Pat's similar teams - Rabbit's 2014 first-place season (link). Meanwhile, the 2017 version of Rabbit might also be 1-1, but his low scores leave him with only one disappointing comparison: 2014 Schertz (link).
Bernie is without a TE, but presumably that gets resolved by Sunday. The rest of his roster looks better than Nick's, especially considering LeSean McCoy is up against the Denver defense that just shut down Ezekiel Elliott.
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Live Commish (Ed, 0-2, 12th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 1-1, 9th):
Ed leads all-time series, 7-3 (link).
At 0-2, Ed's comps are ugly (link). Allen's aren't that much better (link). Can one of us turn their season around?
Surely, Ezekiel Elliott (@ARI) won't have anywhere near as bad a week as last week, right?
Pick: Optimus Prime.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 0-2, 13th) vs. Inconceivable (Richie, 0-2, 14th):
All-time series tied, 3-3 (link).
Shockingly, two of the three previous teams that started as bad as Matt has went on to make the playoffs (link). And no one has ever started as poorly as Richie (link).
Hilariously, these two are currently projected for 0.04 difference on Yahoo.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Closing Thoughts
As you can see from those similar teams links, this year is off to a weird start. Last year we had nine teams with more than 200 points through two weeks, and only one under 160 (link). This year, we have only four above 200 and three below 160. Here's hoping this turns around soon!
LiveCommish