The Sanderson Gazette - 2017-10-04 - Competitive
To steal a line from Blingawoj (link): half the league has won half their games.
Week Four Recap
https://blingaleague.com/week/2017/4/
Kevin def. Rabbit, 95.89-95.60:
On Washington's last real drive of Monday night's game, Kirk Cousins rushed(!) for just enough yards for Rabs to complete a 23-point comeback. Or so we all thought. Up by 0.06, which would have been the closest margin in Blingaleague history, Rabs watched Cousins get the ball back with four seconds left. The Redskins' desperation multi-lateral play resulted in a fumble-six for the Chiefs, but the worst part was that fumble happened seven yards behind the line of scrimmage, so Cousins notched -7 passing yards on the play... which meant a win for Kevin. Philip Rivers (22.35) and DeAndre Hopkins (20.27) led the way for the donuts, while Cousins (22.80) was Nick's leading scorer.
Derrek def. Ed, 134.63-104.99:
Le'Veon Bell (32.00) finally exploded and injury fill-in Devin Funchess added 21.33 to propel D to an easy win, despite playing the fourth-highest score of the week. Lamar Miller (26.67) and Russell Wilson (29.05) were great for me, but there was no beating Mr. Drenckpohl on this day.
Matt def. Pulley, 118.61-86.95:
Pulley came back down to Earth (no word yet if he's petitioning the league office to ensure he never plays Matt in week four again). Andy Dalton scored 29.70 for Matt (and he left an even better QB on the bench!) and Jordy Nelson contributed 22.00. Todd Gurley (30.63) continued his massive year for the Pullman, but he didn't get much else.
Dave def. Rob, 99.37-71.73:
Technically, this game was a Monday night comeback, but anyone who didn' think Travis Kelce (21.10) and the Kansas City defense (9.00) wouldn't combine for two points for Dave was probably crazy. Drew Brees overcame the time warp to 1935 that apparently exists in London to put up 21.20 for Rob in the loss.
Babel def. Pat, 112.94-80.32:
Babel is definitely back on track, with Jameis Winston (29.30), Leonard Fournette (22.47), and Kareem Hunt (12.77) all looking like great young players to have. Pat's second-highest scorer was the Steelers defense (14.00).
Mike R. def. Richie, 84.39-67.10:
The kickers tied for the second-most points in this matchup.
Allen def. Schertz, 82.92-60.90:
Le'Veon Bell hoarded all the fantasy points for the Steelers this week, so Schertz lost. Allen got 27.70 from Ezekiel Elliott and 20.00 from the Seahawks defense.
Current Standings
https://blingaleague.com/standings/
Dave, 4-0, 444.98
Pulley, 3-1, 446.89
Rob, 3-1, 372.07
Babel, 2-2, 420.72
Derrek, 2-2, 396.15
Schertz, 2-2, 372.90
Rabbit, 2-2, 353.55
Mike R., 2-2, 329.08
Allen, 2-2, 324.43
Kevin, 2-2, 321.65
Ed, 1-3, 386.72
Matt, 1-3, 347.20
Pat, 1-3, 338.55
Richie, 1-3, 325.47
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Derrek's 134.63.
Slapped Heartbeat: Schertz's 60.90.
Weekly MVP: Le'Veon Bell returned to form with 32.00.
Dud of the Week: DeMarco Murray's 3.63 doesn't sound that bad until you see that Rabs lost by 0.29.
Start of the Week: Derrek plugged Devin Funchess in to replace the injured Michael Crabtree and was rewarded with 21.33.
Misplay of the Week: For a game so close, Rabs actually made the right moves where he had a real choice (Charles Clay's 14.93 over Ben Watson's 5.73; Duke Johnson, Jr.'s 13.57 over Chris Johnson's 7.33). If he had played Doug Baldwin's 6.67 over Marvin Jones, Jr.'s 5.60, he'd have won, but Baldwin was questionable and playing in the late Sunday game, so it's hard to fault him.
Week Three Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-1, 2nd) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-2, 7th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 6-4 (link).
Strangely, we have only three teams above .500 after four weeks, and none play each other. Rabs was very nearly 3-1, so I'll tab this as our Game of the Blingaweek.
Pulley will probably know what kind of week he'll have by Friday morning, with Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski playing at Tampa Bay on Thursday night. Given how awful the Patriots' defense has been, that looks to be a shootout. Larry Fitzgerald (@PHI) should be able to add a good amount to his total thanks to a juicy matchup, but will Todd Gurley struggle vs. Seattle?
Rabs appears ready to roll with Eli Manning (vs. LAC) with Kirk Cousins on his bye. Last year, LeSean McCoy (@CIN) and DeMarco Murray (@MIA) carried him to nine wins, but they're not nearly as scary this year.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Other Blingamatches
Rob for Today (Rob, 3-1, 3rd) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-2, 8th):
Rob leads all-time series, 7-3 (link).
Rob has two WRs - Brandin Cooks and DeSean Jackson - involved in the potential NE-TB shootout on Thursday. But more notably, with Drew Brees on bye, Rob finally gets to start Deshaun Watson (vs. KC). Will he survive the weekend hanging on Watson's every throw as it actually affects him? Let's find out! Oh, and Mike still has some players with functioning body parts.
Pick: Rob for Today.
Noodles and Vistas (Pat, 1-3, 13th) vs. Chili Right Away (Dave, 4-0, 1st):
Dave leads all-time series, 5-3 (link).
Dave is shooting to become only our third 5-0 team ever (link). And while he's never had such a good start, he did lead the league in expected wins through four weeks in both 2015 and 2016, as well. (He hasn't made the playoffs since 2014, in case you're wondering.) To spring this upset, Pat might need Ty Montgomery (@DAL) to have a big game despite reportedly having multiple broken ribs.
Pick: Chili Right Away.
schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-2, 6th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-2, 5th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 3-2 (link).
Is D back after four straight years missing the playoffs? He just won Team Blangums despite Matt Ryan having an off day, so the Falcons having their bye this week shouldn't be a big deal. This will either come down to a pair of Steelers (Antonio Brown (vs. JAC) for Schertz, Le'Veon Bell (vs. JAC) for D) or some relatively weak TEs. Derrek trots out Jared Cook (vs. BAL) and JuJu just picked up Austin Sefarian-Jenkins (@CLE). When has the phrase "just picked up Austin Sefarian-Jenkins" ever resulted in a win?
Pick: D's Nuts.
Live Commish (Ed, 1-3, 11th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-2, 10th):
Ed leads all-time series, 8-4, (link).
Ed needs to hope he can follow in the footsteps of 2016 Rabbit and Babel, who made the playoffs after 1-3 starts. Having Mike Evans play against the Patriots is a good start. Lamar Miller (vs. KC) finally got a TD last week (and added another for good measure); is this the week Jonathan Stewart (@DET) joins him? Kevin squeaked out a win despite Amari Cooper (vs. BAL) having a very disappointing game (and season) thanks, in large part, to DeAndre Hopkins (vs. KC).
Pick: Live Commish.
Inconceivable (Richie, 1-3, 14th) vs. Keep Calm & GordOn (Babel, 2-2, 4th):
Babel leads all-time series, 4-1 (link).
Jameis Winston vs. NE or Dak Prescott vs. GB? I know which one I like more.
Pick: Keep Calm & GordOn.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-3, 12th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-2, 9th):
Matt leads all-time series, 6-3 (link).
Matt's big week pulled him from historically awful to almost respectable, but he gets hurt by byes badly this week, with Mike Thomas and Tevin Coleman out. Cam Newton (@DET) could be amazing or terrible, with little in between, it seems. Allen's more consistent, and has the other QB in the CAR@DET tilt (Matthew Stafford). He's also got Ezekiel Elliott (vs. GB), and is hurt by byes, as well, with Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas sitting. What a game!
Pick: Optimus Prime.
Closing Thoughts
If you haven't yet, check out BlingaWoj's blog at http://blingablog.wordpress.com/. BlingaWoj is definitely not never or maybe but is can not be something about Rob.
LiveCommish