The Sanderson Gazette - 2017-10-11 - Rarity
Week Five Recap
https://blingaleague.com/week/2017/5/
Babel def. Richie, 168.43-87.62:
Babel's score was the sixth-highest of all-time. How did he get there? Leonard Fournette (30.50) and Melvin Gordon (30.23) both broke the thirty-point barrier and the Jaguars defense added 28.00. Only his kicker scored less than 11.90. Richie took an active 0 from Sammmy Watkins and 0.90 from Derrick Henry. Outside of that, he actually had a decent week, but had no chance against Babel's explosion.
Dave def. Pat, 107.97-57.01:
Dave becomes only our third 5-0 team ever - and first in a non-expansion year. Carson Wentz led the way with 29.80 and Chris Hogan had 15.87 on Thursday night. Odell Beckham, Jr.'s 19.73 is bittersweet, though, as he's now out for the year.
Rob def. Mike R., 129.21-86.32:
After Stephen Gostkowski (15.00) and Cameron Brate (15.07) had good Thursday night games, Bernie looked like he had a shot at this. When A.J. Green put up 29.20 (19 in the first quarter), he looked to be in great shape. But Rob pulled ahead even before Deshaun Watson blew up for 36.65 on Sunday night, and Mike falls below .500 on the year.
Derrek def. Schertz, 122.96-91.60:
Derrek continues his strong early-season run, having played Alex Smith (29.60) for the first time this season. Davante Adams (20.80), Devin Funchess (13.07), and Michael Crabtree (16.93) actually outscored Schertz's strong WR corps (T.Y. Hilton (23.60), Antonio Brown (20.93), and Stefon Diggs (0.53).
Pulley def. Rabbit, 67.55-58.05:
Pulley's second sub-80-point victory of the year saw only four players break double digits for both teams combined. Pulley survived a disappointing 3.23 from Todd Gurley and a 3.20 from Jesse James in his Gronkless TE slot. DeVante Parker managed only 0.80 for Nick and got hurt to boot.
Kevin def. Ed, 104.82-64.03:
I was even worse, with only one double-digit scorer (Russell Wilson, 12.00). But our defending champ surely will take this drama-free win after last week's nailbiter. DeAndre Hopkins led the way for Kev with 24.93.
Matt def. Allen, 94.49-68.41:
Matt's second straight win coincides with a second straight excellent game from Cam Newton (28.25). Doug Martin added 14.47 in his return from suspension. Allen's high scorer was the Seattle defense (16.00).
Current Standings
https://blingaleague.com/standings/
Dave, 5-0, 552.95
Pulley, 4-1, 514.44
Rob, 4-1, 501.28
Babel, 3-2, 589.28
Derrek, 3-2, 519.11
Kevin, 3-2, 426.47
Schertz, 2-3, 464.50
Matt, 2-3, 441.69
Mike R., 2-3, 415.40
Rabbit, 2-3, 411.60
Allen, 2-3, 392.84
Ed, 1-4, 450.75
Richie, 1-4, 413.39
Pat, 1-4, 395.56
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: As mentioned before, Babel's 168.43 is the sixth-highest score ever and only the 18th time someone's cracked 160 (link).
Slapped Heartbeat: Pat's 57.01 is the 13th time that Pat has failed to reach 60 points (link).
Weekly MVP: The Jaguars defense wasn't Babel's highest scoring player, but 28.00 on two pick-sixes earns them this award.
Dud of the Week: Sammy Watkins's 0-catch game lands him here.
Week Six Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Chili Right Away (Dave, 5-0, 1st) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 4-1, 2nd):
Dave leads all-time series, 6-5 (link).
Dave's 5-0 start has involved only a little bit of luck; his lowest score is 97.01 and he's cracked 120 twice. Based on his scores, he has a 49% chance of four or more wins (link).
Meanwhile, Pulley's score distribution puts him at a 49% chance of having exactly two wins, with only 8% chance of four or more(https://blingaleague.com/team/7/2017/). His two Blangums weeks were almost certain wins (both 95% or higher), but none of his other three games even crack a 1/3 chance of winning... and he pulled off two of them!
So Pulley needs his luck to continue... or at least Rob Gronkowski (@NYJ) and Tom Brady (@NYJ) to stay healthy all year.
I'd say Dave is in better shape, but he has one huge, glaring need: a WR replacement for Odell Beckham, Jr.
Pick: Chili Right Away.
Other Blingamatches
Rob for Today (Rob, 4-1, 3rd) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 3-2, 5th):
Rob leads all-time series, 8-3 (link).
Rob's off to a very good start, with only one sub-80 game. Derrek's game-by-game output means he's exactly where he should be - a 62% chance of exactly three wins. Derrek needs his unexpectedly great trio of WRs (Devin Funchess (vs. PHI), Davante Adams (@MIN), Michael Crabtree (vs. LAC)) to continue producing at a great clip to be a true contender; Rob needs to get consistent production out of guys not named Drew Brees (vs. DET), Deshaun Watson (vs. CLE), or Zach Ertz (@CAR).
Pick: D's Nuts.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 2-3, 8th) vs. Keep Calm & GordOn (Babel, 3-2, 4th):
Matt leads all-time series, 8-3 (link).
Dave might be 5-0, but is Babel the team to beat? He's ahead in both points and expected wins, but just had some bad luck in the first two weeks. Squinting, it appears Babel's biggest need is consistent QB play, I guess. And you know what? That's Matt's biggest need, too!
Pick: Keep Calm & GordOn.
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-2, 6th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 2-3, 9th):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 5-4 (link).
Kevin drafted strong enough wide receivers to overcome Amari Cooper's (vs. LAC) vanishing act and David Johnson's injury. What he really needs to have a repeat shot is stronger RB play; will Wayne Gallman (@DEN) give it to him? Bernie - as always - has his own injury owes. He needs a DEAR GOD NOT ANOTHER INJURY.
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Live Commish (Ed, 1-4, 12th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-3, 10th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-3 (link).
This is a case where we both need luck. I need some good luck, but mainly my bad luck to end. Rabs needs his good fortune to continue, as his two wins outpace what would be expected based on his three sub-85 games. I've only had one truly bad week; is this where I turn it around?
Pick: Live Commish.
Noodles and Vistas (Pat, 1-4, 14th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-3, 7th):
Pat leads all-time series, 3-2 (link).
Schertz needs Ben Roethlisberger (@KC) to bounce back, and he probably needs something outside of just otherworldly WR production. Pat needs a miracle. Maybe Mark Ingram (vs. DET) is the missing piece?
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Inconceivable (Richie, 1-4, 13th) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 2-3, 11th):
Allen leads all-time series, 3-2 (link).
Allen's at 70% to have one or fewer wins. Richie's at 54%. Advantage, Richie. At 2-3, Allen might not need a miracle, but his best players - Ezekiel Elliott and the Seattle defense - are on bye this week, so...
Pick: Inconceivable.
Closing Thoughts
Despite Babel, Derrek, and Dave putting up consistent triple-figure weeks, we're still in the midst of our lowest-scoring year ever, averaging only 92.70 points per game (just below 2008's 92.79, and well behind the next lowest, 2012's 97.00). Let's turn this around!
LiveCommish