The Sanderson Gazette - 2017-11-01 - Wild
So who predicted that the 13th and 14th place teams would be in the mix for Blangums this week?
Week Eight Recap
https://blingaleague.com/week/2017/8/
Pat def. Kevin, 127.01-104.14:
Kevin took a tough loss despite DeAndre Hopkins's 35.87 (which briefly gave him a lead on Sunday evening) and Adam Thielen's 19.07. Amari Cooper (6.80) was back to his first-six-weeks form. Meanwhile, Pat got 26.00 from Paul Richardson, 22.13 from Jack Doyle, and 18.35 from Tyrod Taylor to nearly earn a $10 prize.
Pulley def. Schertz, 98.35-94.08:
Pulley managed to win despite taking 0.00 from Marquise Goodwin and -0.10 from Thomas Rawls. Schertz got 32.00 from the Baltimore defense and 15.00 from Mike Nugent, but every other player on his (starting) roster underperformed.
Rob def. Richie, 78.44-63.49:
Dak Prescott's disappointing game (7.75) and Coby Fleener's -0.13, combined with only two double-digit scorers, meant that Richie had a very disappointing total. Rob took a lucky win in which no one broke the fifteen-point barrier for him.
Rabbit def. Babel, 88.21-66.10:
LeSean McCoy's 24.03 offset Donte Moncrief's 0.00 as Rabs won surprisingly comfortably. Babel needed 33 points from Kareem Hunt (7.53) and Tyreek Hill (3.07) on Monday night to make a comeback, but he got barely 10.
Dave def. Allen, 130.18-87.52:
Dave went into Monday night thinking he might lose; instead, he wound up very close to stealing Blangums. Travis Kelce (23.73) and the Chiefs defense (20.00) were both huge against Denver, while Allen only got 8.80 from Demaryius Thomas.
Ed def. Mike R., 139.26-86.88:
Despite taking 0.00 from Zach Miller and -2.00 from the Miami defense, I ran away with this one. Russell Wilson's 38.60 and JuJu Smith-Schuster's 31.73 led the way, while Mike got 13.50 from Marlon Mack and 15.65 from Derek Carr.
Derrek def. Matt, 104.24-83.86:
Matt thought the Bills defense's TD-driven 15.00 was good, but Derrek one-upped him with the Eagles defense and their 20.00. Jamison Crowder added 17.60 to make this a comfortable win for D.
Current Standings
https://blingaleague.com/standings/
Dave, 6-2, 871.06
Pulley, 6-2, 833.40
Rob, 6-2, 794.45
Derrek, 5-3, 813.33
Kevin, 5-3, 752.00
Babel, 4-4, 874.83
Rabbit, 4-4, 703.83
Ed, 3-5, 761.48
Schertz, 3-5, 749.38
Richie, 3-5, 690.20
Matt, 3-5, 683.04
Mike R., 3-5, 661.62
Allen, 3-5, 650.78
Pat, 2-6, 710.88
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums: Ed's 139.26 is the third-highest score of the season and Ed's first Team Blangums since week 2, 2015.
Slapped Heartbeat: Richie's 63.49 is the sixth-lowest of the season and wins less than 6% of the time.
Weekly MVP: Russell Wilson's 38.60 led the way for Ed.
Dud of the Week: Cole Beasley's 1.07 just killed Richie in a winnable game.
Start of the Week: Pat went with Jack Doyle's 22.13 over Ed Dickson's 3.20. He didn't really need it, but it was a good call.
Misplay of the Week: Let's talk about Schertz. T.Y. Hilton (2.00) yet again had a bad week. Stefon Diggs (3.50) was coming off injury and playing in London. Ameer Abdullah (4.17) is a Lions RB. And yet he played all three over Will Fuller V and his 28.67. Schertz lost by less than five points.
Pryor Player of the Week: Jamison Crowder (17.60) finally had a breakout game for D. I know he hasn't been playing him every week, but I didn't want to omit this award only one week after introducing it.
Blessed Cahoots: Playing JuJu Smith-Schuster was a smart move, regardless, but you can never expect a 97-yard TD from anyone, so Ed's JuJu-led Blangums is definitely worthy of yelling, "BLESSED CAHOOTS!"
Week Nine Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-3, 5th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 6-2, 3rd):
Rob leads all-time series, 8-3 (link).
Kevin is having a bye week from hell. Philip Rivers, Keenan Allen, and Adam Thielen are all out this week. Jay Ajayi (vs. DEN) might not play in his first week with his team team, and even if he does, it's against the great Denver rushing defense. So he'll be rolling with Jacoby Brissett (@HOU), Sterling Shepard (vs. LAR), and Corey Davis (vs. BAL) (and the latter two are both listed as questionable).
So this is a no-brainer win for Rob, right? Not so fast. Brandin Cooks and James White are on bye, so he's currently slated to start Orleans Darkwa (vs. LAR) and Javorious Allen (@TEN). At least he still has Deshaun Watson (vs. IND) and Zach Ertz (vs. DEN).
Wouldn't it be fitting if DeAndre Hopkins (vs. IND) and Alvin Kamara (vs. TAM), Rob's two most boner-inducing players, won this game for Kevin?
Pick: Rob for Today.
Other Blingamatches
Chili Right Away (Dave, 6-2, 1st) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-5, 9th):
Dave leads all-time series, 3-2 (link).
Schertz has lost five of six; one more likely means no playoffs for JuJu (Blingaleague version). And he'll have to go up against our quite consistent first-place team in this must-win game. And he'll be without Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Brown, and Stefon Diggs, who are all on bye. At least he'll play Will Fuller V (vs. IND) this week. Dave has some tough matchups (Carson Wentz and Alshon Jeffery vs. DEN, Devonta Freeman @CAR, Chris Thompson @SEA), but he's still a heavy favorite in this one.
Pick: Chili Right Away.
D's Nuts (Derrek, 5-3, 4th) vs. Noodles and Vistas (Pat, 2-6, 14th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 6-2 (link).
D's got a really solid team, but he, too, will be missing his best player, Le'Veon Bell (the Steelers are quite fantasy-relevant, aren't they?). Pat's been missing his own best player, Aaron Rodgers, for three weeks now, but if anything, he's been more competitive with Tyrod Taylor (@NYJ) at the helm, and his trade for Paul Richardson (vs. WAS) and Mark Ingram (vs. TAM) looks very good in retrospect.
Pick: Noodles and Vistas.
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-5, 12th) vs. Keep Calm & GordOn (Babel, 4-4, 6th):
Mike R. leads all-time series, 7-4 (link).
Babel's got a forty-point cushion on every team except Dave, yet he sits at 4-4 and barely in playoff position. He started the year with five of six games over 100 points, but since has failed to break 90 twice. And to make matters worse, Jameis Winston's (@NO) health is now a serious issue. At least he still has Leonard Fournette (vs. CIN) and Dez Bryant (vs. KC). Bernie, like the Panthers, just traded away Kelvin Benjamin, but he does have Alex Collins (@TEN) to show for it.
Pick: Keep Calm & GordOn.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-5, 11th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-4, 7th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-4 (link).
Matt's season is on the edge; like Schertz, with one more loss, he's effectively out of playoff contention. Cam Newton (vs. ATL) can keep Matt in any game, though, and Doug Martin (@NO) has been a bright spot since his return. Rabs relies on LeSean McCoy (@NYJ) and Kirk Cousins (@SEA), the former being a star and the latter having more mixed results.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Live Commish (Ed, 3-5, 8th) vs. Palmer is ALL Right (Richie, 3-5, 10th):
Ed leads all-time series, 3-2 (link).
Just when it looks like I'm out of it, I rattle off two straight wins, including a Team Blangums award. But my two shrewd midseason pickups, JuJu Smith-Schuster and Jerick McKinnon, are on bye, so I'll be relying all the more on Russell Wilson (vs. WAS) and Mike Evans (@NO). Richie has gotten some stellar play from Dak Prescott (vs. KC) but some disappointing play from Julio Jones (@CAR).
Pick: Live Commish.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 6-2, 2nd) vs. Optimus Prime (Allen, 3-5, 13th):
All-time series tied, 5-5 (link).
Ezekiel Elliott's reinstated suspension means Allen's season is over, and Pulley - with Alfred Morris (vs. KC) - might be the top beneficiary. Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski are on bye, but that shouldn't matter much for the Pullman.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Closing Thoughts
I know I said that sixth losses for Schertz and Matt would keep them out of the playoffs, it might not. The league is so bunched from 3-5 to 4-4 that this could be a year where we see a 6-7 team sneak in. Who knows?
LiveCommish