We finally broke 100 points as our average score, and did so by a lot; our 105.00 collective average is good for 17th best all time (out of 129 weeks; https://blingaleague.com/blingalytics/weekly_scores/)!

Week Twelve Recap

https://blingaleague.com/week/2017/12/

Kevin def. Babel, 159.83-100.89:

Babel got 20.40 from Kyle Rudolph during the first Thanksgiving game, and probably felt great. By the end of the second Thanksgiving tilt, however, he was in a deep hole, as Philip Rivers (33.20) and Keenan Allen (28.93) had huge games for Kevin. Add in Alvin Kamara's 34.17, and this one was a surprising blowout.

Derrek def. Rabbit, 113.44-97.70:

Derrek kept Babel's playoff hopes alive, though, thanks to 24.80 from Jamison Crowder and 19.32 from Le'Veon Bell, which offset Michael Crabtree's ejection-induced zero. Rabs got 26.53 from Marvin Jones, Jr., but could have used more than 2.83 from Doug Baldwin.

Richie def. Dave, 144.45-114.84:

Richie exploded and kept himself on the very edge of playoff contention (more on that below) thanks mainly to Julio Jones's 47.23. The Chargers defense (19.00) and Justin Tucker (14.00) also had good games. Joe Mixon (24.20).

Pat def. Matt, 122.00-88.80:

Speaking of surprise fringe playoff contenders... #PlayoffPat got 29.10 from Case Keenum and 31.47 from Robby Anderson to give himself somewhat realistic postseason odds. Doug Martin's 3.30 was pretty indicative of Matt's day.

Pulley def. Ed, 116.81-95.66:

Pulley officially ended my season and clinched a bye with a pretty well-rounded effort; Rob Gronkowski was his leading scorer with 22.93.

Rob def. Allen, 98.00-85.40:

Zach Ertz's usual 19.73 meant this one was never really in doubt.

Schertz def. Mike R., 74.59-57.62:

More like Pooisville Fartinals.

Current Standings

https://blingaleague.com/standings/

1. b-Pulley, 10-2, 1281.45

2. x-Kevin, 9-3, 1249.35

3. x-Dave, 8-4, 1309.01

4. x-Rob, 8-4, 1213.20

5. x-Derrek, 8-4, 1200.34

6. Rabbit, 6-6, 1104.02

7. Babel, 5-7, 1226.24

8. Pat, 5-7, 1119.08

9. Schertz, 5-7, 1090.79

10. Richie, 5-7, 1069.98

11. e-Ed, 4-8, 1139.92

12. e-Allen, 4-8, 1030.59

13. e-Matt, 4-8, 1017.78

14. e-Mike R., 3-9, 947.24

b - clinched bye

x - clinched playoff berth

e - eliminated from playoff contention

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums: Kevin's 159.83 is the second-highest score of the season.

Slapped Heartbeat: Bernie's 57.62 is the fourth-lowest of the year.

Weekly MVP: Julio Jones scored 47.23 points for Richie.

Dud of the Week: Michael Crabtree threw some punches, got ejected, and now guaranteed himself a zero this coming week, too.

Pryor Play of the Week: Julio Jones finally broke through!

Playoff Scenarios

Pulley has clinched a bye.

Pulley clinches regular-season first place with:

• a win

OR

• a Kevin loss.

Kevin has clinched a playoff berth.

Kevin clinches a bye with:

• a win.

Dave has clinched a playoff berth.

Rob has clinched a playoff berth.

Derrek has clinched a playoff berth.

Rabbit clinches a playoff berth with:

• a win.

(Mike R., Matt, Allen, and Ed have been eliminated from playoff contention.)

Playoff Scenarios, Part II

Pulley is assured of a bye and has a great shot at his second regular-season title in three years (link). To finish in second, he would need to lose, Kevin to win, and to be outscored by Kevin by 33 points.

Kevin gets his second straight bye with a win, but will definitely not get a bye if he loses to Dave, as his rival is already ahead of him in points.

Dave is extremely likely to get a bye with a win (Rob and Derrek can technically pass him, but they'd need to also win and outscore him by 96 and 109 points, respectively). If he loses, he can fall all the way to fifth place in a season in which he appeared to be the top team for almost the whole time.

Rob and Derrek have virtually no shot at a bye, but one could move up to #3 if Dave loses and they both win. Separated by only 13 points, it could be either one of them.

Rabs is in with a win, but out with a loss, as Pat is already ahead of him in points.

Babel needs to win and for Pat to beat Rabbit, and he's in with more than 100-point cushion on Pat.

Pat is in, quite simply, with a win and a Babel loss. (I will do my best to get him half of that.)

Schertz and Richie - who play each other - need some chaos. For one, they need both Rabbit and Babel to lose (winning a tiebreaker Babel and his 130-plus point cushion is not really doable). They also need to outscore Pat by 29 and 50, respectively.

Week Thirteen Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Optimus Prime (Allen, 4-8, 12th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 8-4, 5th):

All-time series tied, 7-7 (link).

It's fitting that the final game in our most prolific rivalry acts as a rubber match. Allen can't end his Blingaleague career by eliminating the man he once accused of being a robot from the playoffs, but he can still end it knowing he beat D more than he didn't.

But it's not the best year to beat D; after four years of 5.2 or fewer expected wins, D already has 6.4 this year. Le'Veon Bell (@CIN) is almost always great. Jamison Crowder (@DAL) faces a team that allowed Philip Rivers and Keenan Allen to look like Steve Young and Jerry Rice on Thanksgiving. And Davante Adams (vs. TAM) appears to be the only Packer WR not hurt by Brett Hundley's performance.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Other Blingamatches

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 6-6, 6th) vs. Noodles and Vistas (Pat, 5-7, 8th):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 9-2 (link).

If it weren't for a charter member's swan song, this game would have earned top billing for the second straight year. Case Keenum (@ATL) was a worth substitute for Aaron Rodgers for Pat last week and looks to continue that trend. Mark Ingram (vs. CAR) and Paul Richardson (vs. PHI) were great midseason additions (though the latter might not be in Pat's lineup this week), and Robby Anderson (vs. KC) has been a surprising anchor. Rabbit's most consistent player, Marvin Jones, Jr. (@BAL) is another surprise... and has a rough matchup this week. Is this year - the last rivalry week meeting between these two (more on that later) - finally Pat's time?

Pick: Noodles and Vistas.

Live Commish (Ed, 4-8, 11th) vs. Keep Calm & GordOn (Babel, 5-7, 7th):

Babel leads all-time series, 9-4 (link).

Jared Goff (@ARI), Mike Evans (@GB), and Marqise Lee (@IND) all have good matchups for me. Tyreek Hill and Kareem Hunt look to find their early-season magic @NYJ for Mark. But we already established that our late-season trade would cause the Timberwolves hat to come to me, as we know the Rams defense (@ARI) will probably score 25+.

Pick: Live Commish.

Chili Right Away (Dave, 8-4, 3rd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 9-3, 2nd):

Kevin leads all-time series, 9-3 (link).

This game between two top-three teams somehow gets fourth billing this week! Antonio Brown (@CIN) and A.J. Green (vs. PIT) face each others' teams this week in a matchup that definitely favors Dave. But Keenan Allen (vs. CLE) and DeAndre Hopkins (@TEN) have great matchups for Kevin.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 10-2, 1st) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 8-4, 4th):

Rob leads all-time series, 8-6 (link).

Pulley will have perhaps the three best players - Todd Gurley (@ARI) and his strong Patriots duo, Tom Brady (@BUF) and Rob Gronkowski (@BUF) - in the Clash of Hatred this year. Can Rob's deeper team pull off the upset?

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

Palmer is ALL Right (Richie, 5-7, 10th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 5-7, 9th):

Schertz leads all-time series, 3-2 (link).

Both of these guys are technically alive. Russell Wilson (vs. PHI) has been good for Schertz since he traded for him, and his other big midseason acquisition, Jordan Howard (vs. SF), has a great matchup. But if Julio Jones (vs. MIN) is fully back for Richie, that could be bad news for JuJu in what's likely to be their final rivalry week matchup.

Pick: Palmer is ALL Right.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-8, 13th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-9, 14th):

Matt leads all-time series, 9-4 (link).

This is Matt's worst season since 2008 (link). This is Mike's worst season - well, anyone's worst season (link) - ever (link).

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Closing Thoughts

I mentioned something about rivalries changing earlier. With Scott next in line (though yet to be officially confirmed) as Allen's replacement, I plan to change the following rivalries:

Derrek will now have Rabbit as a rival;

Pat will now have Schertz;

Richie will go against Scott.

LiveCommish

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