The Sanderson Gazette - 2018-09-12 - Right Where He Left Off
"I just Google searched 'babels starting TE' and I need to shame myself publicly for this stupidity" - Mike R., reigning Blingachat Czar
Week One Recap
Derrek def. Mike R., 148.57-91.72:
D put up the second highest opening week total in Blingaleague history despite his first round pick - keeper Le'Veon Bell - not playing. Bell's replacement, James Conner, put up 31.10 to lead the way for our defending champ. Bernie got burned by an awful 0.80 from Travis Kelce, though otherwise had a fine week.
Matt def. Scott, 147.40-84.03:
Welcome to the Blingaleague, Scott! Matthew Stafford's disappointing four-interception-fueled 10.90 led to Scott putting up a score that wins less than 30% of the time. (Note that the expected wins figure for 84.03 on the Expected Wins Calculator (0.279) doesn't match Scott's current expected winning percentage (0.277). This is because single-season based expected wins are normalized for that season's scoring environment, while the basic calculator just looks at all scores we've ever had.) Meanwhile, Matt put up a huge week led by Mike Thomas's 28.00, while only Keelan Cole (7.20) didn't crack double digits.
Rob def. Babel, 103.70-99.69:
Rob looked to be in bad shape after the early games on Sunday, sitting at 62.77 points with only Tyreek Hill left to play. But Hill put up a whopping 40.93 and Rob had enough breathing room to hold of Babel, who didn't get quite enough from Jared Goff (19.05) and Marshawn Lynch (11.17) on Monday night.
Pulley def. Richie, 103.12-95.06:
It remains unknown how effective Adrian Peterson will be all year, but he put up a very necessary 22.93 for Pulley this week. If not for AP, Richie (led by Tom Brady's 23.05) would have taken this one.
Ed def. Rabbit, 129.36-83.01:
Drew Brees (35.45) over Matt Ryan (9.35) was the main difference in this one, though Rabs had an outside chance at a Monday night comeback until The Force That Is Jared Cook scored 24.00 and turned this into a blowout.
Kevin def. Pat, 108.58-76.15:
Alvin Kamara put up 37.83 for Kev to offset disappointment from Trey Burton (2.00) and Marquise Goodwin (0.00). Pat had only three double-digit scorers and got only 2.65 from Marcus Mariota in the much-delayed Titans/Dolphins game.
Schertz def. Dave, 99.18-85.11:
A Monday night push from Greg Zuerlein (16.00) and Cooper Kupp (14.53) helped Dave avoid starting the year with a Slapped Heartbeat. Schertz benefited from Aaron Rodgers's not-so-injured knee, as the Green Bay QB put up 26.80 to lead him to victory.
Standings
- Derrek, 1-0, 148.57
- Matt, 1-0, 147.40
- Ed, 1-0, 129.36
- Kevin, 1-0, 108.58
- Rob, 1-0, 103.70
- Pulley, 1-0, 103.12
- Schertz, 1-0, 99.18
- Babel, 0-1, 99.69
- Richie, 0-1, 95.06
- Mike R., 0-1, 91.72
- Dave, 0-1, 85.11
- Scott, 0-1, 84.03
- Rabbit, 0-1, 83.01
- Pat, 0-1, 76.15
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums:
Derrek's first game in possession of the Sanderson Cup is a great first step towards retaining it for another year; he scored 148.57, barely edging out Matt.
Slapped Heartbeat:
Pat's 76.15 is his twentieth all-time. Yay, Pat!
Weekly MVP:
Tyreek Hill's 40.93 was the highest score of the week and also critical for Rob's victory.
Dud of the Week:
A few options here. Amari Cooper's 2.10 cost Richie in an eight-point loss. Doug Baldwin's zero really hurt Dave. Leonard Fournette's injury-affected 5.97 and Kareem Hunt's 4.90 hurt Babel in a four-point loss. And Rob wouldn't have needed Tyreek Hill to go off for so much had the New Orleans defense not bottomed out at -7.00. I'll give it to Cooper, I guess.
Start of the Week:
Nothing really jumps out here. I could give it to Pulley for playing Adrian Peterson (22.93) over some other options, but he played Donte Moncrief's 1.87 over said options, which also cost him points. No winner here this week.
Misplay of the Week:
Richie left DeSean Jackson (31.47) and Randall Cobb (24.93) on his bench in favor of Duke Johnson, Jr. (2.77).
Week Two Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Live Commish (Ed, 1-0, 3rd) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 1-0, 5th):
Ed leads all-time series, 8-4.
Blingaleague's only sibling rivalry is also week two's only matchup in which both teams are 1-0, so it's the obvious choice here.
At QB for me, Drew Brees (vs. CLE) almost certainly won't do as well as he did last week, and at QB for Rob, Deshaun Watson (@TEN) almost certainly won't do as poorly. Rob has a big advantage at WR, with A.J. Green (vs. BAL) and Tyreek Hill (@PIT) over my Larry Fitzgerald (@LAR) and JuJu Smith-Schuster (vs. KC).
But my pick in this one comes down to my more pronounced advantage at RB, where Lamar Miller (@TEN) might balance out Rob's Jay Ajayi (@TAM), but Ezekiel Elliott (vs. NYG) should be able to comfortably outscore Matt Breida (vs. DET) and prevent Rob from getting of to his third straight 2-0 start.
Pick: Live Commish.
Other Blingamatches
HuntFournetteOctober (Babel, 0-1, 8th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 1-0, 7th):
Schertz leads all-time series, 5-1.
A Schertz win here would be the most normal outcome, as he has started 2-0 three straight years and Babel has started 0-2 for three straight years. Babel got hit by the injury bug badly, with Delanie Walker suffering a season-ending injury and Leonard Fournette (vs. NE) now nursing a hamstring issue. Schertz's Aaron Rodgers (vs. MIN) is famously banged up himself, but has shown he's quite effective with only one good knee.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Eggs eggs & more e (Richie, 0-1, 9th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-0, 4th):
Kevin leads all-time series, 4-2.
Kevin had a comfortable win last week and projects even better this one, as Alvin Kamara is vs. CLE and Keenan Allen is @BUF. Richie, meanwhile, has a completely open bench spot.
Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.
Chili Right Away (Dave, 0-1, 11th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-0, 6th):
All-time series tied, 6-6.
Dave's QB streaming while Carson Wentz is injured could be hitting a jackpot this week, as Tyrod Taylor is @NO, who just made Ryan Fitzpatrick look like Drew Brees. Pulley's stacked Colts - Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton - are @WAS, who just completely shut down the Cardinals.
Pick: Chili Right Away.
D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-0, 1st) vs. Noodles and Vistas (Pat, 0-1, 14th):
Derrek leads all-time series, 6-3.
D won the Sanderson Cup and got rewarded with last year's last place team last week (say that three times fast, please) followed up by week one's Slapped Heartbeat in week two. Among non-start players, Jarvis Landry (@NO) could be big for Pat this week, while Emmanuel Sanders (vs. OAK) could do the same for Derrek.
Pick: D's Nuts.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-0, 2nd) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 0-1, 13th):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 10-4.
Matt's coming off a great week, while Rabs is coming of a poor one. The latter will hope Julio Jones (vs. CAR) repeats his week one performance, but this time, pulls Matt Ryan (vs. CAR) with him. Matt will hope Russell Wilson (@CHI) doesn't get sacked six times by Khalil Mack, but should expect Mike Thomas (vs. CLE) and Melvin Gordon (@BUF) to have big games.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 0-1, 10th) vs. Not an MD (Scott, 0-1, 12th):
All-time series time, 0-0.
Outside of David Johnson (@LAR) and the New England defense (@JAC), I don't see a position on Scott's roster I'd favor over Mike in this matchup. Also, we know Scott will start 0-4, until he plays Rob in week five, because Rob's main role in Blingaleague is to be the first win for expansion teams.
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
Closing Thoughts
Week one cracked the top 25 all-time in both average score (23rd) and highest average margin (24th).
I've added a couple new features to blingaleague.com. You can now find a list of "Most Similar Seasons" on team season pages. Additionally, I added some functionality to determine if a team has clinched a playoff spot or not (this appears on the standings pages and as a search option on the historical season finder).