The Sanderson Gazette - 2018-10-02 - Living up to his Name

Let's get two things out of the way first: Week four is our new highest-scoring week ever, and it placed three teams among the fourteen highest-scoring losers of all time.

Week 4 Recap

Mike R. def. Kevin, 160.96-137.38:

It's a new experience to see Bernie actually bullying his opponents. This week, he had four players break 24 points (Andy Dalton (26.65), the Green Bay defense (26.00), James White (25.47), and Adam Thielen (24.00)). Kevin wasted another huge game from Alvin Kamara (37.67), as he adds his name to the list of regular season teams that scored 135 points and still lost (list populated solely by himself).

Pulley def. Ed, 131.55-127.35:

This was one of the wildest games we've ever had in the Blingaleague. Todd Gurley II (24.03) had a huge game on Thursday night for Pulley, but Ezekiel Elliot (32.93) topped that on Sunday for Ed. Andrew Luck (38.30) had a huge fourth quarter and overtime for Pulley, only to see Jared Cook (26.67) do the same later in the day for Ed. Both Larry Fitzgerald (3.73 for Ed) and Chris Hogan (3.33 for Pulley) had duds that canceled each other out. JuJu Smith-Schuster (8.00) scored just enough on Sunday night to make it a toss-up whether Phillip Lindsay (14.23) could push Pulley to victory on Monday. When all was said and done, Pulley moved to 3-1 on the season and Ed took a tough loss.

Richie def. Babel, 135.93-124.69:

Richie appeared to be in bad shape early on Sunday, as it looked like Babel's QB and defense would lead him to victory; Jared Goff put up 43.45 on Thursday night and the Jaguars defense was pitching a shutout. But the Jaguars dropped to 11.00, and Amari Cooper (23.07) and John Brown (21.77) had great games for Rich in the later slots, which meant these two now have identical 1-3 records.

Rob def. Matt, 114.02-106.41:

Rob became our seventh 4-0 team in history with this win, led by Deshaun Watson's 31.35. But will karma bite him for playing without a defense on Monday night? Matt got 25.73 from Melvin Gordon III, 22.50 from Giovani Bernard, and 22.47 from Brandin Cooks, but had no other double digit scorers.

Scott def. Schertz, 140.40-92.54:

Scott evened his record at 2-2 with the highest score by an expansion team ever. (This is also the latest in the season an expansion team has had a .500 record.) Golden Tate (29.60) and Greg Kittle (22.67) exploded for Mr. Beitzel, and Patrick Mahomes (25.40) is the early leader for best pick of the draft. Schertz didn't have a particularly bad week, though Jordan Howard (2.50) and Nelson Agholor (2.93) were big disappointments.

Dave def. Derrek, 101.07-91.67:

Dave avoided falling to 0-4 for the first time ever thanks to Cooper Kupp's huge 33.60 on Thursday night. Derrek got 33.90 of his own from Kirk Cousins in the same game, but had no one score over 11.07 (Tyler Eifert).

Rabbit def. Pat, 114.06-67.27:

Rabs got his second straight win, as Matt Ryan (31.95) and Julio Jones (23.07) continued to produce at high levels. Meanwhile, Pat again failed to break 80 points, and without Joe Flacco's 24.85 and Wil Lutz's 16.00, he might have had a historically awful total.

Standings

  1. Rob, 4-0, 464.59
  2. Mike R., 3-1, 500.66
  3. Matt, 3-1, 479.88
  4. Pulley, 3-1, 445.23
  5. Kevin, 2-2, 469.09
  6. Ed, 2-2, 466.36
  7. Derrek, 2-2, 444.05
  8. Rabbit, 2-2, 429.17
  9. Scott, 2-2, 423.25
  10. Schertz, 2-2, 401.32
  11. Babel, 1-3, 431.96
  12. Richie, 1-3, 423.92
  13. Dave, 1-3, 343.24
  14. Pat, 0-4, 287.33

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums:

After going five full years without a paid Blangums, Mike R.'s 160.96 has earned him $10 for the second time in three weeks.

Slapped Heartbeat:

Pat moves to four for four (fo' fo' fo'?) on the year with his worst score yet, 67.27.

Weekly MVP:

There are so many to choose from this week, but I'll go with Andrew Luck, whose 38.30 was critical for Pulley to beat Ed.

Dud of the Week:

From the same game, if Drew Brees (10.25) had just thrown a touchdown (and nine more yards), Ed would have come away with the victory.

Start of the Week:

Pulley went with Phillip Lindsay (14.523) over Latavius Murray (4.33) and Ty Montgomery (9.27).

Misplay of the Week:

Ed sat Ito Smith's 11.23 in favor of Larry Fitzgerald's 3.73 and lost by less than five points.

Pickup of the Week:

Despite losing, Ed gets this for picking up Taylor Gabriel and inserting his 26.87 into his lineup. Those points could come in handy for tiebreakers.

Blessed Cahoots:

Mike R. didn't really need it, but the Packers defense shut out the Bills and put up 26.00 fantasy points.

Pryor Play of the Week:

Andrew Luck's fantasy points, weeks 1-3: 21.65, 12.65, 14.50. But Pulley stuck with him and was rewarded with 38.30 in week four.

Week 5 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 3-1, 4th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 2-2, 5th):

Pulley leads all-time series, 10-3.

Kevin outscored Pulley last week, but only the latter got a win. This week, our last two regular season champions face off.

For Pulley, a win here to move to 4-1 would likely cement his playoff spot. But he's got some injury concerns; both T.Y. Hilton (@NE) and Will Fuller V (vs. DAL) left their week four games with hamstring injuries, and Adrian Peterson (@NO) has battled an ankle problem through his week four bye.

For Kev, this game is more critical, as falling to 2-3 has historically meant missing the playoffs. Ben Roethlisberger (vs. ATL) has a great matchup, but Stefon Diggs (@PHI) and Alvin Kamara (vs. WAS) don't.

If Devonta Freeman (@PIT) is back and near 100%, this one could swing to Kev. If not, I'll go with the Pullman.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Other Blingamatches

Rob for Today (Rob, 4-0, 1st) vs. Not an MD (Scott, 2-2, 9th):

All-time series tied, 0-0.

Rob hasn't started 1-0 against a franchise since he defeated Pat in week 9, 2009. And Scott's not a pushover, as he's scored the third most points over the past two weeks.

Rob's in great shape for the playoffs, so the only real impact of a win here would be to become only the fourth 5-0 team in league history. Deshaun Watson is taking on a suspect Dallas secondary and Calvin Ridley is playing a Pittsburgh defense that has been poor all year.

For Scott, moving to 3-2 would be huge for his odds to become the first expansion team to play past week thirteen. But Patrick Mahomes has a challenging matchup (vs. JAC), so Scott will need David Johnson (@SF) to really live up to his #1 pick potential.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-1, 2nd) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 2-2, 8th):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 7-4.

These two have won the past three Team Blangums awards and have the two highest totals across the past two weeks.

If Mike continues his bullying ways, he'll almost certainly make the playoffs. And with two key players (Antonio Brown and Tevin Coleman) set to play in the PIT@ATL defense-free bowl, he'll be eyeing his third payout of the year.

Rabs really needs a win here, because his point total remains middling due to his first two poor weeks. He also has two key players (Matt Ryan and Julio Jones) involved in the aforementioned likely shootout. Is the rest of his roster ready to take on what could very well be a juggernaut?

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-2, 7th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-2, 10th):

Derrek leads all-time series, 4-2.

These guys are both 2-2, but arrived there quite differently.

D started off with two huge weeks, even taking Team Blangums in week one. But he's failed to hit 92 points the past two weeks, and despite news of Le'Veon Bell's plan to return to play in week eight, he's on the verge of letting his season slip away. He'll need Kirk Cousins to have a good game @PHI and James Conner to bounce back vs. ATL, though getting Christian McCaffrey (vs. NYG) back is sure to help, too.

Schertz, at first glance, looks like he's having a fine year, having topped 92 every week. But in a year where seven teams have averaged 110 or more points through four weeks, a high score of 109.71 isn't going to cut it. Saquon Barkley (@CAR) has been as productive as advertised, but Aaron Rodgers (@DET) and Josh Gordon (vs. IND) have battled injuries and have not lived up to potential. If that doesn't change, Schertz might become a seller sooner than he hoped.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Live Commish (Ed, 2-2, 6th) vs. Hopkins I get a win (Richie, 1-3, 12th):

All-time series tied, 3-3.

Ed has to be looking at all the previous previews and dreading falling to 2-3 despite his strong peripherals. It's only week five, but it's possible his seasonal aspirations will rely on getting Julian Edelman (vs. IND) back from suspension and Devin Funchess (vs. NYG) back from his bye, as Drew Brees (vs. WAS) has a tough Monday night matchup and Ezekiel Elliott (@HOU) may or may not have a serious injury.

Meanwhile, Richie will be trying to win his fourth straight against Ed and vault back into the playoff conversation. He'll be without one of the most boom-or-bust players on a team full of them, as DeSean Jackson is on bye. Will the good version of Amari Cooper (@LAC) show up this week? Will John Brown (@CLE) continue his great season in Baltimore?

Pick: Live Commish.

Chili Right Away (Dave, 1-3, 13th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-1, 3rd):

Matt leads all-time series, 7-4.

This has been a series full of streaks, as Dave's current three game winning streak was preceded by seven straight losses to Matt.

Dave was on the verge of completely writing off the season, but got a crucial win last week. He might still just be one week away from selling, as he'll have to hope Carson Wentz can have the same success fellow third-year QB Jared Goff had vs. MIN. He's also currently without a tight end.

Matt's season lost a little of its shine with his defeat at the hands of Rob, but he's still in great playoff shape. Keelan Cole (@KC) and Melvin Gordon III (vs. OAK) have great matchups for Matt to bounce back to victory.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

HuntFournetteOctober (Babel, 1-3, 11th) vs. NotLooking4TheRepeat (Pat, 0-4, 14th):

Pat leads all-time series, 5-4.

Well, it's time for Babel's free win.

In all seriousness, Babel looks kind of shaky this week - and that doesn't bode well for his playoff chances, with three losses already on the books. Leonard Fournette is unlikely to play, Mike Evans is on bye, and the Jacksonville defense is @KC.

Pat is just looking to finally outscore someone. A fifth straight Slapped Heartbeat would just be devastating.

Pick: NotLooking4TheRepeat.

Closing Thoughts

Astonishingly, week four wound up being over three standard deviations above the average weekly score. Just an incredible week for nearly everyone.