"There are times when I hate my fantasy football team and want to not give a shit like I'm sure we all do in other leagues. And then I think about how Ed created a website and is so fucking reliable that he has sent a weekly newsletter for seemingly 20 years and there is this chat that is a go to place for any stupid debate or menial occurrence and it makes me want to try harder just so I can have a more validated sense of belonging." - Babel (editor's note: the Gazette is just under 9 years old)

Week 6 Recap

Derrek def. Ed, 148.61-130.71:

Despite having his top QB and WR (Drew Brees and Mike Thomas) on bye, Ed very nearly pulled off a huge upset. Thanks to Taylor Gabriel (15.57), O.J. Howard (14.27), and the Seattle defense (17.00), Ed took a 26 point lead into Monday night. But Davante Adams (29.60) made up that difference on his own for Derrek, and Robbie Gould threw in 15.00 for good measure, and Ed took an incredibly tough loss with the second highest score of the week. Only three players in this entire game scored less than ten points.

Rob def. Pat, 110.61-104.47:

Speaking of near upsets, Pat had a 53 point lead going into the Sunday night game! But Tyreek Hill (36.93) and Stephen Gostkowski (22.00) had ridiculous games for Rob, and we just missed experiencing an 0-5-over-5-0 shocker. Alshon Jeffery put up 21.87 for Pat in the crushing loss.

Kevin def. Schertz, 113.22-111.11:

Kevin got 24.22 from Ben Roethlisberger and 24.00 from the Baltimore defense, which helped him hold onto a win and move back to .500 on the year. Schertz nearly pulled a big comeback of his own, with Aaron Rodgers (31.15) and Marquez Valdez-Scantling (13.73) going off on Monday night, but he fell just short (but still put up a neat-looking score).

Mike R. def. Pulley, 112.82-106.39:

This week was crazy enough that a six point Game of the Blingaweek got bumped down to the fourth recap! Mike got enough from stalwarts Cam Newton (25.55), Antonio Brown (20.00), and Adam Thielen (22.40) to move to 5-1, while Jimmy Graham (13.87) couldn't push Pulley over the hump on Monday night. Getting anything from his special teams - Ryan Succop scored zero, while the Indianapolis defense put up -1.00 - would probably have swung this for the Pullman.

Rabbit def. Dave, 119.70-107.34:

New addition Eric Ebron (15.37) had a nice game and Sony Michel (22.60) did his part, but Dave's disappointing season continued with a loss to Rabs. Nick got 30.50 from Matt Ryan and 19.07 from Julio Jones and moved to 3-3 on the year.

Scott def. Babel, 116.07-83.98:

Our newest Blingaleaguer (note: I need to stop calling him an expansion team) also moved to .500, as Patrick Mahomes II (30.50) and Tyler Boyd (20.27) kept their great seasons going for another week. Babel scored more points than he did last week, when he won by nearly 25, and lost by more than 30. Kareem Hunt (28.00) and Michael Crabtree (18.40) were his lone bright spots.

Matt def. Richie, 113.47-96.10:

This was definitely the most boring game of our wild week six. Melvin Gordon III (33.60) and Russell Wilson (22.60) powered Matt to huge cushion prior to the Sunday night and Monday night games, and Tom Brady (24.20) and Mason Crosby (17.00) could not score enough to pull Richie within striking distance.

Standings

1. Rob, 6-0, 695.69
2. Mike R., 5-1, 736.97
3. Derrek, 4-2, 727.11
4. Matt, 4-2, 696.59
5. Pulley, 4-2, 665.70
6. Kevin, 3-3, 683.27
7. Scott, 3-3, 641.47
8. Rabbit, 3-3, 634.47
9. Ed, 2-4, 678.45
10. Richie, 2-4, 610.59
11. Schertz, 2-4, 605.81
12. Babel, 2-4, 587.38
13. Dave, 2-4, 586.62
14. Pat, 0-6, 438.48

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums:

Derrek's 148.61 gets him his second Blangums of the season and is his second highest score ever.

Slapped Heartbeat:

Babel's 83.98 is the second highest score ever for a Slapped Heartbeat.

Weekly MVP:

Davante Adams wasn't the highest scorer on the week, but his 29.60 led D to a Monday night comeback and Team Blangums.

Dud of the Week:

Take your pick of Ryan Succop (0.00), the Indianapolis defense (-1.00), and Will Fuller V (4.40), who all disappointed for Pulley in a close loss. Or Josh Gordon (5.60) or Jordan Howard (4.90), who did the same for Schertz in an even closer loss.

Start of the Week:

Despite several close games, no one gets this one; the victors of said matchups all left points on their bench, or at the very least, didn't make any decisions that would have swung their games.

Misplay of the Week:

Pulley sat Latavius Murray (21.90) when he found out Adrian Peterson (9.70) was active. Murray would have gotten him the victory if he had sat either Peterson or Phillip Lindsay (8.20).

Pickup of the Week:

Ed was only in line for a tough loss due to a few shrewd pickups. Case Keenum (21.70) filled in fine for Drew Brees, while the Seattle defense (17.00) and O.J. Howard (14.27) both had strong games upon joining the commissioner's team.

Blessed Cahoots:

The Tyreekane struck for Rob, scoring a 75 yard fourth quarter touchdown to propel him ahead of Pat to snag a wildly improbable victory.

Pryor Play of the Week:

Chris Hogan (10.40) finally had more than 42 receiving yards in a week, rewarding Pulley for having faith in his third round pick.

Playoff Odds

Since expansion, this is how often teams with each record have made the playoffs:

• 0-6: 0% (0% with week 7 win, 0% with loss)

• 1-5: 0% (0% with week 7 win, 0% with loss)

• 2-4: 22% (31% with week 7 win, 0% with loss)

• 3-3: 28% (62% with week 7 win, 12% with loss)

• 4-2: 79% (100% with week 7 win, 60% with loss)

• 5-1: 90% (100% with week 7 win, 80% with loss)

• 6-0: 100% (100% with week 7 win, 100% with loss)

Week 7 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 3-3, 8th) vs. Not an MD (Scott, 3-3, 7th):

All-time series tied, 0-0.

We'll start with a game between two guys who totally deserve their records. Rabs and Scott each have three games above our 2018 median score (106.84) and three below it, so neither can feel like luck has played too large a role in their current situation. And funny enough, they are at the top of each others' similar seasons lists!

So it's easy to say Rabs should continue forward with a .500 record, but will he? Having Matt Ryan (vs. NYG) and Julio Jones (vs. NYG) gives him a little more variance than if his QB and top WR came from different teams, but if you're going to stack a QB-WR combo, there are far worse choices. Robert Woods (@SF) has consistently produced, and should continue to do so, but Marvin Jones, Jr. (@MIA) and LeSean McCoy (@IND) have each only broken 10 points twice, and haven't topped 20 all season. Given that all his key players still have byes coming up, Rabs will be hard pressed to have a realistic shot at the playoffs come rivalry week.

Scott's team has a bit more potential, and is definitely trending upward. Patrick Mahomes II (vs. CIN) was a great draft pick, David Johnson (vs. DEN) is finally producing, and Tarik Cohen (vs. NE) and Tyler Boyd (@KC) have been excellent in recent weeks. Unfortunately for Scott, Mahomes's bye is in the very important week 12. I think Scott is more likely to stay in the playoff hunt, but the odds are not in his favor to play past week 13.

As for this week, David Johnson's got a sneaky good matchup against a Denver defense that has allowed nearly six yards per carry on the year. You can't ask for much more when you're looking to get that all-important fourth win (see Playoff Odds chart above).

Pick: Not an MD.

Other Blingamatches

LiveCommish (Ed, 2-4, 9th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-3, 6th):

Ed leads all-time series, 8-5.

Now we come to a game where luck has affected both players in negative ways. Both are over 50% to have four or more wins (52% for Ed, 57% for Kevin), and yet they have five combined.

Ed has four games above the median score for the year, but only two wins (his other two weeks were deserved losses). In the past three weeks, he's broken 127 points twice, but has an 0-3 record over the time frame. Oddly, the two most recent high scoring weeks came when his QB (Drew Brees (@BAL)) and top WR (JuJu Smith-Schuster three weeks ago, Mike Thomas (@BAL) last week) were relatively ineffective or on bye. He also has Julian Edelman (@CHI) back from suspension. If Ezekiel Elliott's (@WAS) touchdown count can regress to expected levels based on his yardage - and his opponents would stop getting what they need on Monday night against him - Ed could vault back into the playoff picture, as the rest of his team looks pretty solid.

Though Kevin only lost one of his four games above the median, that loss was even more unlikely: he scored 137.38 points! Kevin also broke 100 in his other two losses, making him one of two teams (more on that later) to top 100 points all six games this year. He'll need Alvin Kamara (@BAL), coming off his bye, to play more like he did in weeks 1-4 than week 5, and for Alex Smith (vs. DAL) to fill in adequately for Ben Roethlisberger (bye).

It's hard to say at this point which one of these teams has better playoff outlook. Neither is clearly better than the other in a general sense; Kevin has the edge in current record, but Ed's best players have already had their bye. And as you can see above, being 3-3 at this point isn't significantly better than 2-4, so a win here is critical for both teams.

Pick: Live Commish.

NotLooking4TheRepeat (Pat, 0-6, 14th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 4-2, 5th):

Pulley leads all-time series, 8-1.

Pat currently has the lowest point total and expected win projection through six weeks in league history. An 0-6 record might be generally unlikely, but if anyone's ever earned it, it's 2018 Pat (but hey, at least he ended his five game Slapped Heartbeat streak). Needless to say, Pat's playoff chances are nil.

Pulley's been good, but really could be at 3-3 or 4-2; he's got one win where he scored below the median, but another loss where he was less than a point below it. He started 2-1 against three relatively easy opponents, but since has gone 2-1 against a tougher slate. He's been quite reliant on Todd Gurley (@SF), who has nearly 25% of Pulley's total points on the season. Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton been up and down this year, and will be facing a surprisingly competent Buffalo defense, while Adrian Peterson (vs. DAL) and Phillip Lindsay (@ARI) have both been steady, if unspectacular, producers. Pulley's top-heavy team probably means he's a little less solidified into playoff position than a standard 4-2 team, as any regression from Gurley could turn some needed wins into losses.

This week, though? It's an easy pick.

Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 4-2, 3rd) vs. Brady to rumblllleee (Richie, 2-4, 10th):

Derrek leads all-time series, 4-2.

For the second straight year, D is winning the games in which he does well, and losing the games in which he doesn't. And when you get Team Blangums twice in six weeks, that means you're having a good season. In fact, Derrek is currently on pace for a higher average score than we've ever had before (though only second highest ever) and has a higher median score than we've ever seen. D's results have followed how well James Conner has done; when Le'Veon Bell's handcuff scores eleven or more points, D wins. With Conner on bye this week, D's historically impressive metrics could start coming back to earth quite soon (though he still should plan for the playoffs).

Richie's had an odd year, but in aggregate, his record looks right. He did lose the game where he put up his second highest score of the year (119.04, week 2), but he won the game with his second lowest (90.57, week 5). He's definitely a tier below the current contenders, but a roster with DeAndre Hopkins (@JAC) and Tom Brady (@CHI) can never be overlooked.

Both these guys are hammered by byes this week, so expect a relatively low total score.

Pick: D's Nuts.

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-2, 4th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-4, 11th):

Matt leads all-time series, 5-1.

Matt's somewhere between D and Pulley in terms of quality so far. He's had a couple 130+ weeks, but also three games under the median. Melvin Gordon III (vs. TEN) has been outstanding, but Rob Gronkowski (@CHI) has not fully met expectations. Matt made sure he'd get a win last week by trading Mike Thomas for JuJu Smith-Schuster, but now Smith-Schuster and Russell Wilson have their own byes. Matt should make the playoffs, but he might have a few bumps along the way.

Schertz very nearly pulled to .500 this week, finally breaking 110 points. Despite never scoring lower than 90 (he's been notably consistent), Schertz has four deserved losses, only breaking the median score twice. To even have a shot at the playoffs, keepers Josh Gordon (@CHI) and Jordan Howard (vs. NE) need to get going soon.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Chili Right Away (Dave, 2-4, 13th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 6-0, 1st):

Dave leads all-time series, 7-6.

Dave would need to pass six teams in order to make the playoffs, which has never been done before. One difference between him and all the previous week six 13th place teams? He has a Blangums under his belt. Dave's team doesn't look that bad, though he'll definitely need Odell Beckham, Jr. (@ATL) to finally break out for his record to start improving.

Rob is 6-0, not 4-2, thanks to two huge Tyreek Hill (vs. CIN) bailouts. Throw in two RBs that he couldn't start until recently (Carlos Hyde (@TAM) and Mark Ingram (@BAL)), and Rob has a shot to continue his undefeated season longer than anyone has before. He definitely is a good bet to get a first round bye. But will Deshaun Watson's (@JAC) inconsistent play lead to an untimely loss at some point?

Dave handed the first loss to our only other 6-0 team; will he do the same, six years later?

Pick: Chili Right Away.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 5-1, 2nd) vs. HuntFournetteOctober (Babel, 2-4, 12th):

Mike R. leads all-time series, 7-5.

Since scoring 91.72 in week one, Mike has been the class of the Blingaleague, not dipping below 112.82.

Mike's high score on the season (160.96) is more than Babel has scored in the past two weeks combined (71.44 and 83.98). No one can touch his WRs (Antonio Brown (bye), Adam Thielen (@NYJ), and Jarvis Landry (@TAM)), though with Brown on bye, he'll have to play all three of his change-of-pace backs (Dion Lewis (@LAC), James White (@CHI), and Tevin Coleman (vs. NYG)) this week. Cam Newton (@PHI) is really the key to whether Mike gets a bye or plays in the quarterfinals; if the Panther QB's "bad Cam" games coincide with a few other players failing to meet expectations, Mike could slip from the top of the standings; if not, he'll be very, very tough to beat.

Babel started 0-2, as injures to Delanie Walker and Leonard Fournette led him to two sub-100 weeks. He broke the median in the next two weeks, though he still lost his highest scoring game of the season (124.69). In a stroke of good luck, he won despite scoring a mere 71.44 in week five. However, when you look at the state of his roster and overall season stats, he'll need quite a turnaround to make the playoffs. That will involve Jared Goff (@SF) consistently hitting 20-30 points from here on out and Mike Evans (vs. CLE) showing up week-to-week. Kareem Hunt (vs. CIN) being a top tier RB.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Closing Thoughts

Week six had the third highest average score and sixth lowest average margin ever. Wow.

Also, new feature on the league website: a Belt Holder page, which plays out our history as if there were a championship belt passing from person to person!

And don't forget about the Top Seasons page, either. Now that we've played six weeks, 2018 will start showing up for some of the categories (and due to the crazy high scoring this season, it appears a lot).

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