The Sanderson Gazette - 2018-12-26 - Double D

Blingabowl XI Recap

Derrek def. Matt, 122.79-92.94:

A balanced effort from D's team led to his second straight Sanderson Cup. Robby Anderson (24.67) led the way for Derrek, while Kirk Cousins (23.75), Christian McCaffrey (20.37), and Davante Adams (15.47) all added strong games. Matt got 29.75 from Russell Wilson, but a zero from Rob Gronkowski sealed his fate.

Third-Place Game Recap

Kevin def. Mike R., 132.82-114.16:

Just like 2012, Mike's powerful team fell short of a money-winning position. Ben Roethlisberger (31.90), Alvin Kamara (25.23), and Jamaal Williams (23.63) powered Kevin to a really strong third-place game score, and despite how hard Antonio Brown (36.67) tried, Mike just couldn't overtake him.

Final Standings

  1. Derrek
  2. Matt
  3. Kevin
  4. Mike R.
  5. Rob
  6. Pulley
  7. Rabbit
  8. Scott
  9. Ed
  10. Schertz
  11. Richie
  12. Babel
  13. Dave
  14. Pat

Final Payouts

(First-second-third pays out $258-$129-$43.)

  • Derrek: $298 (first place plus four Blangums)
  • Matt: $139 (second place plus one Blangums)
  • Mike R.: $50 (five Blangums)
  • Kevin: $43 (third place)
  • Rabbit: $10 (one Blangums)
  • Babel: $10 (one Blangums)
  • Dave: $10 (one Blangums)

Annual Awards

Team Blangums:

Derrek notched his first ever ten-win season, took home four Team Blangums awards, and won his second straight Sanderson Cup. This was an easy choice.

Slapped Heartbeat:

Pat opened the season with five consecutive Slapped Heartbeats and added one more for good measure. HIs expected wins total was the seventh lowest ever.

Annual MVP:

Christian McCaffrey went nuts to end the season and was a huge part of D's playoff run.

Dud of the Year:

Early picks Le'Veon Bell (Derrek), Devonta Freeman (Kevin), and Leonard Fournette (Babel) all missed at least half the year, so they'd be easy picks here. But this award goes to Rob Gronkowski, who looked like a steal for Matt in the second round and never really got his shit together, finally putting up a zero in the Blingabowl.

Pickup of the Year:

Ka'imi Fairbairn was a clutch kicker for D down the stretch, but this one goes to Pulley's waiver claim of Philip Lindsay following week one.

Season Postmortems

Matt Harrison, 8-5, 1456.67 points, 4th (regular season), 2nd (playoffs), 7.16 expected wins

Matt was picked as an early favorite for 2018 and never truly disappointed; he stayed in the playoff hunt all year long. But his deep playoff run isn't quite as impressive as it appears, with three of his five worst scores of the year coming in the playoffs. Had matchups shaken out differently in the quarterfinals, I might have been writing about a disappointing playoff exit here...

A disappointing playoff exit like his most similar historical team, 2014 Rob. That version of Rob missed out on a bye when he couldn't win the Clash of Hatred, then completely crapped the bed in the playoffs.

Derrek Drenckpohl, 10-3, 1552.46 points, 1st (regular season), Blingabowl XI champion (playoffs), 7.86 expected wins

Last year, Derrek made a championship run from the #5 seed (though it was clearly deserved). This year, week one's Sanderson Gazette was titled "Right Where He Left Off", which wound up applying to the whole season, and he became the first repeat champion since 2013 Matt.

The first (and only other) repeat champion? 2011 Rabbit, who is D's top comp.

Blingapower Rankings

14. Pat Gawne (last year: 11th)

  • 2018: 2-11, 1129.79 points, 3.92 expected wins, 14th place
  • Overall record: 50-80 (.385, 14th)
  • Best finish: 7th (2017, 2016)
  • Worst finish: last (2018, 2010)

Pat was creeping up the Blingapower rankings after two straight seasons of just missing the playoffs, but 2018 was a rock bottom year. Six Slapped Heartbeats mean you take a big hit.

NFL equivalent: Buffalo Bills.

13. Richie Armour (last year: 12th)

  • 2018: 5-8, 1211.74 points, 4.59 expected wins, 11th place
  • Overall record: 36-55 (.396, 13th)
  • Best finish: 6th (2015)
  • Worst finish: last (2012)

As Richie's strong 2015 fades into our collective rear view mirror, he moves down in the rankings. He somehow stayed in the playoff hunt longer than he should have this year, but ultimately wound up completely out of it.

NFL equivalent: Cincinnati Bengals.

12. Scott Beitzel (last year: 14th)

  • 2018: 6-7, 1519.15 points, 7.92 expected wins, 8th place
  • Best finish: 8th (2018)
  • Worst finish: 8th (2018)

Scott's the hardest person to rank. He was probably a top six team in his only season, but he also doesn't have any track record beyond that. He moves up a few spots, but still won't pass some teams that have put together some playoff success.

NFL equivalent: Cleveland Browns.

11. Mike Schertz (last year: 9th)

  • 2018: 6-7, 1331.15 points, 5.95 expected wins, 10th place
  • Overall record: 43-48 (.473, 10th)
  • Best finish: 2nd (2015)
  • Worst finish: 13th (2014)

Schertz was as high as fifth following the 2016 season, which was his second straight playoff appearance. But the two seasons since have not been kind, as he never really threatened to be a contender.

NFL equivalent: Green Bay Packers.

10. Ed Gross (last year: 10th)

  • 2018: 6-7, 1381.05 points, 6.58 expected wins, 9th place
  • Overall record: 72-71 (.503, 6th)
  • Best finish: 2nd (2010)
  • Worst finish: 13th (2017)

Ed was one of the top franchies for the first six Blingaseasons, but now hasn't made the playoffs five straight years. He stays put at #10 due to having teams that were better than their final records the past two years.

NFL equivalent: Denver Broncos.

9. Dave Fultz (last year: 7th)

  • 2018: 4-9, 1183.31 points, 4.20 expected wins, 13th place
  • Overall record: 62-81 (.434, 12th)
  • Best finish: 4th (2013)
  • Worst finish: last (2011)

Dave has some good will built up from last year's very good - if unrewarded - season. That said, his overall record is bad enough that he'll probably wind up in the bottom four with a bad 2019.

NFL equivalent: Carolina Panthers.

8. Mike Romor (last year: 13th)

  • 2018: 9-4, 1595.71 points, 8.48 expected wins, 4th place
  • Overall record: 69-74 (.483, 9th)
  • Best finish: 4th (2018)
  • Worst finish: last (2017)

Mike shoots up the rankings following a season with five Team Blangums awards. Like Dave, this spot is precarious, as falling back out of the playoffs in 2019 could cause Bernie to tumble back down the rankings.

NFL equivalent: Chicago Bears.

7. Mark Babel (last year: 2nd)

  • 2018: 4-9, 1356.45 points, 6.17 expected wins, 12th place
  • Overall record: 70-73 (.490, 8th)
  • Best finish: 1st (2014)
  • Worst finish: 13th (2013)

Babel's up-and-down career was way down this year (though he deserved better than four wins). His #2 overall ranking was probably a little inflated by his run to the Blingabowl last year, so he has the largest slide of any team this year.

NFL equivalent: Atlanta Falcons.

6. Nick "Rabbit" Warren (last year: 3rd)

  • 2018: 7-6, 1349.14 points, 6.13 expected wins, 7th place
  • Overall record: 88-55 (.615, 1st)
  • Best finish: 1st (2011, 2010)
  • Worst finish: 11th (2015, 2013)

I've been reluctant to move Rabs down in the rankings, but now he's missed the playoffs three of the past four (and four of the past six) seasons. His 2018 was basically the same as Babel's, but he lucked into three more wins. He's still holding on to the best record of all time, though someone is gaining on him...

NFL equivalent: Miami Dolphins.

5. Rob Gross (last year: 5th)

  • 2018: 8-5, 1337.88 points, 6.34 expected wins, 5th place
  • Overall record: 80-63 (.559, 3rd)
  • Best finish: 2nd (2013, 2008)
  • Worst finish: 13th (2012)

Not even a 6-0 start could keep Rob from an 8-5 record (fifth time in six years) or a fifth place finish (fourth time in five years).

NFL equivalent: Kansas City Chiefs.

4. Matt Harrison (last year: 6th)

  • 2018: 8-5, 1456.67 points, 7.16 expected wins, 2nd place
  • Overall record: 79-64 (.552, 4th)
  • Best finish: 1st (2013, 2012, 2009)
  • Worst finish: last (2008)

Matt nearly returned to the top of the mountain to extend his all-time lead in Sanderson Cups, but he fell flat in Blingabowl XI.

NFL equivalent: Los Angeles Rams.

3. Derrek Drenckpohl (last year: 8th)

  • 2018: 10-3, 1552.46 points, 7.86 expected wins, Blingabowl XI champion
  • Overall record: 76-67 (.531, 5th)
  • Best finish: 1st (2018, 2017)
  • Worst finish: last (2016)

D shoots up the rankings in a big way, which is completely appropriate when one wins the Sanderson Cup for the second year in a row. It's hard to find an NFL equivalent for D, who shot up from last place the year before his first title run.

NFL equivalent: Early 2000's New England Patriots.

2. Kevin Pattermann (last year: 4th)

  • 2018: 7-6, 1452.59 points, 7.57 expected wins, 3rd place
  • Overall record: 71-72 (.497, 7th)
  • Best finish: 1st (2016)
  • Worst finish: last (2015, 2014)

Like D, I didn't move Kevin up very far after he won a single Blingabowl. But then last year, he earned another bye, and now this year made the semifinals yet again. Quite a run after two straight appearances in the cellar.

NFL equivalent: New Orleans Saints.

1. Adam Pulley (last year: 1st)

  • 2018: 9-4, 1525.89 points, 8.11 expected wins, 6th place
  • Overall record: 85-58 (.594, 2nd)
  • Best finish: 1st (2015, 2008)
  • Worst finish: last (2009)

Pulley stays on top after another stellar regular season, though his five-year run of making the semifinals was snapped.

NFL equivalent: New England Patriots.

Draft Lottery

The likelihood of getting the #1 overall pick is:

  • Pat: 24.60%
  • Dave: 16.84%
  • Babel: 16.02%
  • Richie: 12.96%
  • Schertz: 8.64%
  • Ed: 8.40%
  • Scott: 7.74%
  • Rabbit: 4.80%

Closing Thoughts

As fun as the Blingapower rankings are to write, I'm always sad doing it, because it's the last Gazette for quite a while. Hope everyone's holidays have been great, and happy new year!