The Sanderson Gazette - 2019-10-16 - Monday Night Drama
Week six has to rank among the most dramatic Blingaweeks ever. A record five games had less than ten point margins, tying week 12, 2013 for the record.
This past week has two things over week 12, 2013, though: its average margin of victory is lower (13.13 vs. 13.37 - fourth all-time vs. sixth all-time), and it has a remarkable four games decided on Monday night (the best historical record we have of week 12, 2013 does not mention any Monday night drama).
Week 6 Recap
Pulley def. Derrek, 117.07-116.85:
Derrek needed just over 6.5 points from Geronimo Allison on Monday, but the WR left his game early with a concussion and fell just short, with 5.33. Outside of Allison, both of these guys had their top WR - Emmanuel Sanders (zero) for Derrek and Amari Cooper (0.40) for Pulley - leave their games with injuries, so that evened out. And for the first time this year, Pulley's opponent's defense (Denver, 26.00) almost canceled out the Patriots (27.00). But that one point of difference was critical for Pulley to move to 5-1.
Dave def. Scott, 106.81-103.85:
Dave needed some Monday night heroics of his own to get his first win of the season, and Aaron Rodgers delivered 20.65 necessary points. Tyreek Hill (22.67) and Curtis Samuel (22.13) helped, too. Devonta Freeman (24.80) blew up for Scott, and while his only dud was Diontae Johnson (1.87), overall he just didn't score enough. (This is why you all read the Gazette, for deep insight like "he just didn't score enough", right?)
Babel def. Schertz, 115.52-109.74:
This was our lone matchup where each team had a player in the Monday night game. Schertz entered it with a small lead, but Matthew Stafford (12.65) scored enough for Babel to cancel out Aaron Jones (4.43) for Schertz. Schertz got 25.33 from Terry McLaurin, but Babel got a whopping 42.07 from Stefon Diggs. Now these two both sit at 3-3 despite Schertz outscoring Babel by more than 200 on the season and having more than two more expected wins.
Mike R. def. Pat, 109.45-101.80:
Our last Monday night showdown saw Mike needing six points from Kerryon Johnson; the Lions RB scored 13.00, helped by a (controversial) touchdown that ultimately wasn't really needed. Dak Prescott (20.45) and the Carolina defense (20.00) led the way for Mike, while Nick Chubb (24.47) continued his great season for Pat. Pat did wind up having to play an inactive Marquise Brown due to by week and injury problems; notably, his bench scored a grand total of zero points.
Matt def. Rob, 71.00-64.50:
Our fifth close game featured the two lowest scores of the week, and was over before Sunday night football. The latter was fortunate for for Matt; his SNF participants, JuJu Smith-Schuster (0.93) and Austin Ekeler (3.27) had horrible games. The QB position was the difference-maker in this one, as Lamar Jackson scored 32.50 for Matt while Jared Goff put up -0.10 for Rob.
Ed def. Richie, 111.07-91.43:
Ed's normally star-heavy team played against type this week; Deshaun Watson (32.20) was his only player to break 20 points and to score a touchdown, but he still had enough solid scores to put up his second best total of the year. Richie also had only one 20 point scorer (David Johnson, 24.47), but the rest of his roster was just disappointing enough to take an unfortunate fourth loss.
Rabbit def. Kevin, 121.13-71.94:
Kyler Murray (32.20) cracked the 30 point barrier for the first time in his career and Chris Carson put up 23.07 as Rabs ran away with the Blingabowl IX rematch. Outside of Matt Ryan (33.50), Kev's team did almost nothing.
Standings
- Pulley, 5-1, 756.06
- Rabbit, 4-2, 665.20
- Matt, 4-2, 658.59
- Schertz, 3-3, 756.46
- Derrek, 3-3, 640.47
- Pat, 3-3, 636.45
- Kevin, 3-3, 630.96
- Ed, 3-3, 582.66
- Mike R., 3-3, 581.43
- Rob, 3-3, 553.52
- Babel, 3-3, 547.65
- Scott, 2-4, 608.00
- Richie, 2-4, 545.04
- Dave, 1-5, 530.86
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums:
Rabs earned his second straight Team Blangums award. His 121.13 is the lowest score for a Blangums winner since week 9, 2017.
Slapped Heartbeat:
Rob's 64.50 is his only his fifth Slapped Heartbeat ever, but his third in the last thirteen weeks.
Weekly MVP:
Stefon Diggs scored 42.07 for Babel in a very close game.
Dud of the Week:
Jared Goff scored -0.10 for Rob, and has already been traded.
Start of the Week:
Dave played Alshon Jeffery (16.13) and a just-back-from-injury Tyreek Hill (22.67) over Mohamed Sanu (3.87) and earned his first win of the year by less than three points.
Misplay of the Week:
Scott could have played Nelson Agholor (5.60) or Corey Davis (4.80) over Diontae Johnson (1.87). Instead, he's 2-4 now.
Pickup of the Week:
Derrek picked up the Denver defense and was rewarded with 26.00 points. He didn't win his game, but it looks like he's learned you don't need to draft defenses in the the third round any more.
Blessed Cahoots:
Aaron Rodgers threw a touchdown to a receiver who was pretty clearly down short of the end zone, but there wasn't even a review. If the Packers had ended the drive with a different sort of score, Dave would have had four fewer points and lost. If the other score had been an Aaron Jones touchdown, Schertz would have had six more points and won (and Babel would have lost). Therefore, Dave will earn the Blessed Cahoots award this week, but will have to share custody of it with Babel every other weekend.
Pryor Play of the Week:
Stefon Diggs scored 42.07 for Babel in week six, bringing his season total to 77.80. If that doesn't qualify for Pryor Play of the Week, nothing does
Playoff Odds
Since expansion, this is how often teams with each record have made the playoffs:
0-6: 0% (0% with week 7 win, 0% with loss)
1-5: 0% (0% with week 7 win, 0% with loss)
2-4: 17% (27% with week 7 win, 0% with loss)
3-3: 29% (60% with week 7 win, 11% with loss)
4-2: 82% (100% with week 7 win, 64% with loss)
5-1: 91% (100% with week 7 win, 80% with loss)
6-0: 100% (100% with week 7 win, 100% with loss)
Week 7 Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Live Commish (Ed, 3-3, 8th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-3, 7th):
Ed leads all-time series, 8-6.
A matchup between non-playoff teams as the Game of the Blingaweek? It's not the strongest Blingaleague schedule in the world, so this'll have to do. And while there's another matchup of 3-3 teams, this one figures to have the bigger impact on its participants' playoff hopes.
Ed and Kev are both without starting WR, as Odell Beckham, Jr. and Mike Evans are on bye. Kevin will be missing TE Will Dissly, and Ed might be without Chris Herndon at the same position. Alvin Kamara is questionable for Kev. This one could be epic in its disappointing nature.
And yet, these two might not need those players. Both have active QBs and WRs that can put up 40-point games: Deshaun Watson (@IND) and Julio Jones (vs. LAR) for Ed, Matt Ryan (vs. LAR) and Keenan Allen (@TEN) for Kevin.
This game probably comes down to which team's stars have huge weeks. (There's some more cutting-edge analysis you can't get anywhere else!)
Pick: Live Commish.
Other Blingamatches
Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 3-3, 9th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-2, 2nd):
Rabbit leads all-time series, 7-5.
Mike's team was nearly being written off two weeks ago, but he's pulled back to .500, and his team doesn't look half bad. Dak Prescott (vs. PHI) goes up against an awful Eagles secondary, and Cooper Kupp (@ATL) has been the best WR to own from the Rams. And George Kittle (@WAS) is still a stud TE.
Rabs is coming off two straight Team Blangums awards and looks poised to make a playoff run; he hasn't been in playoff position - let alone bye position - after five weeks since 2014. Davante Adams's (vs. OAK) turf toe is still a concern, especially with solid producer Chris Godwin on bye. If Kyler Murray (@NYG) can build off last week's huge game, Rabs could move to 5-2 on the year.
Pick: Bernie's Bullies.
D's Nuts (Derrek, 3-3, 5th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 3-3, 10th):
Rob leads all-time series, 8-6.
D will be looking to get more than 5.25 from Gardner Minshew II (@CIN) this week, and it looks like Emmanuel Sanders's (vs. KC) knee injury won't be serious enough to keep him out this week. Austin Hooper (vs. LAR) and Darren Waller (@GB) give him a great 1-2 TE combination, as well.
Rob had an even worse QB score last week, so he'll be turning to either Jacoby Brissett (vs. HOU) or Philip Rivers (@TEN) this week. Carlos Hyde (@IND) has been sneakily quite good this year, and David Johnson (@NYG) is always a valuable RB.
Pick: Rob for Today.
Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-2, 3rd) vs. Baker Baker One-Nine (Babel, 3-3, 11th):
Matt leads all-time series, 9-3.
This matchup has produced Team Blangums or the Sanderson Cup winner in six of its previous twelve instances, so can we expected fireworks this week? For Matt, probably not. Lamar Jackson (@SEA) is great, but Dalvin Cook (@DET) has a tough matchup and Todd Gurley II's (@ATL) health is still in question. He'll need huge contributions from role players to be our top scorer this week.
But Babel's outlook might be even worse. Ezekiel Elliot (vs. PHI) is always a threat to score 30 points, but Josh Jacobs (@GB), Stefon Diggs (@DET), and Robby Anderson (vs. NE) all play against good defenses.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
The Kel(ce) is MaHome (Scott, 2-4, 12th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-3, 4th):
Scott leads all-time series, 1-0.
Patrick Mahomes (@DEN) scored 31.10, 35.05, and 31.10 the first three weeks. The next three, he scored 21.15, 19.75, and 21.05. Those are still nice scores, but does Scott need to be concerned? The reigning MVP visits a Broncos defense fresh off a shutout, so another disappointing week could be in the cards.
Schertz leads the league in points and is second in expected wins, but sits at 3-3 and in fourth place. Russell Wilson (vs. BAL) looks like he could carry the day, and if Saquon Barkley (vs. ARI) is back, look out.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Taking a Golladay (Richie, 2-4, 13th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 3-3, 6th):
Pat leads all-time series, 6-1.
Richie's season is circling the drain, so he made a bold move in hoping to buy Jared Goff (@ATL) and DeAndre Hopkins (@IND) low in anticipation of big recoveries. If team namesake Kenny Golladay (vs. MIN) has another good game, Richie could pull the upset here.
That's because Pat will be without his best player, Nick Chubb (bye). Leonard Fournette (@CIN) and David Montgomery (vs. NO) could fill in well, though. At WR, Mike Thomas (@CHI) has a tough matchup, but newly acquired DeSean Jackson (@DAL) looks like he's healthy again.
Pick: The Vistas are Back.
Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 1-5, 14th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-1, 1st):
Pulley leads all-time series, 7-6.
Dave is coming off his first win of the year, but will be without core player Curtis Samuel (bye) this week. Tyreek Hill (@DEN) is fully back, though, and Malcolm Brown (@ATL) could have a big week if Todd Gurley is out again.
Pulley, meanwhile, has been the class of the league so far. Something to note here: with Greg Olsen on bye, he's currently slated to start Rob Gronkowski (retired) at TE. These two have hugely imbalanced records, but Pulley probably still should play a TE.
Pick: Pullman's MondoSquad.
Closing Thoughts
Sorry for the rushed Gazette, it's been a busy week with Ashley and Amelia (finally) arriving in London, and work-related commitments.