The Sanderson Gazette - 2019-12-18 - Devastation, Again

Semifinals Recap

One year ago, The Gazette was describing how the 2018 semifinals were low-scoring, but extremely close.

This year's semifinals weren't as close - though they still had the second-closest margin for a set of semifinals matches ever - but their average score of 126.70 is the new mark all future semifinals weeks will be judged against. (It just barely edges the mark of 126.58 from 2009.)

Matt def. Mike R., 125.20-116.35:

"Okay today is clearly an elaborate plan by Matt’s interns to destroy my heart tonight." - Mike R.

If you had only checked on this game Friday morning and Monday morning, you wouldn't think much of it. Matt got 51.63 combined from Lamar Jackson (38.70) and Mark Andrews (12.93) on Thursday night, so him winning isn't a surprise.

But boy, was Sunday a wild ride. Mike got big games from DeVante Parker (21.60) and DeAndre Hopkins (15.87) in the early slots, while Kenny Golladay (5.87) had a bit of a dud for Matt. Then, in the late games, Dak Prescott (19.80) led the Cowboys to a big win, and George Kittle (17.87) and Raheem Mostert (10.07) were the entire 49ers offense, giving Mike a chance. Dalvin Cook (4.83) provided an addition blow to Matt when he left his game early with an injury.

Cooper Kupp (11.47) and Todd Gurley II (18.40) added late touchdowns for Mike and Matt, respectively, and Mike went into the Sunday night game with a 4.35 point lead vs. Matt's John Brown. Well, Brown scored 13.20 and Matt once again broke the heart of his rival in the semifinals.

I hope some interns got some well-earned time off for orchestrating that drama.

(Just kidding, we all know Matt's interns get no breaks.)

Schertz def. Derrek, 147.39-117.85:

Saquon Barkley (27.33) finally blew up for Schertz, who got good performances across the board. Tyler Lockett (22.00) looks to be back, and Tyreek Hill (21.03) and Zach Ertz (14.13) both lived up to the expectations Schertz had when he traded for them.

Derrek's season ended with another great Christian McCaffrey (32.43) game. Mike Williams (15.47) and Darren Waller (16.27) did their part, too. But despite a better point total than he had in last year's semifinals, D's bid for a third straight Blingabowl win came to an end.

Fifth-Place Game

Babel def. Pulley, 135.02-82.10:

He sure did.

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums:

Schertz's 147.39 is the fourth highest semifinals score ever (but, crazily, still more than 30 points behind the all-time semifinals record).

Slapped Heartbeat:

Mike R.'s 116.35 is by far the highest low score for a semifinals week ever, nearly 25 points better than the 2012 semifinal loser that previously held this mark.

Weekly MVP:

Once again, it's Lamar Jackson (38.70) for Matt.

Dud of the Week:

It's hard to find one among all these good scores, but Emmanuel Sanders put up only 1.20 for Derrek.

Start of the Week:

Only Matt vs. Mike R. was close, and Matt left points on his bench.

Misplay of the Week:

Mike's bench wouldn't have made a difference in his outcome, but if he had picked up (and started) Breshad Perriman and his 33.37 points, he would have won.

Season Postmortems

Derrek Drenckpohl, 7-6 (0.538), 1,382.41 points, 6th, 7.49 expected wins

Despite failing to retain Sandy for a third year, Derrek has to see his season as a success. He became just the sixth franchise to reach the semifinals for three straight years. That said, it's not like he can look back at the year without some regrets. Christian McCaffrey was once again his stud, but he must be kicking himself for taking Antonio Brown in the first round, only to get one game out of him. He also had one devastatingly close loss to Pulley (though that merely would have meant he and Pulley reversed seeds).

Historically, 2009 Matt appears to be his closest team. That version of Matt also started the season really strong, but lost three of four from week nine to twelve. Unlike D, though, Matt was on the winning end of a semifinals shootout, which put him in position to eke out a win in Blingabowl II vs. Rabbit.

Mike Romor, 8-5 (0.615), 1,333.08 points, 4th, 6.77 expected wins

Mike looked like he was circling the drain after four weeks. Sure, he had just completed his first week after trading for Cooper Kupp, George Kittle, and Dak Prescott, but he was 1-3 and in 13th place. But on the backs of those three players, he won his next five games, and seven of his last nine, to finish in 4th place. He then actually won a playoff game, reaching the semis for the second straight year.

Oddly, the 2009 version of himself is his most comparable team. Mike finished 5-8 that year, but with 6.68 expected wins, he was unlucky to do so. Three of his eight losses came in games where he scored 106 points or more.

Blingabowl XII Preview

#1 schertzopotamus (Schertz, 10-4) vs. #2 Harrison Hammers (Matt, 9-5):

Matt leads all-time series, 7-1.

Week three, 2019: Matt has just defeated Schertz, 135.49-113.62. That 113.62 is their low score of the season. They are both among the top ten teams ever through two games.

Fast forward thirteen weeks: nothing has really changed. While not historically dominant franchises, Schertz and Matt have established themselves as being in the next tier of teams. They were clearly the two best teams heading into the playoffs, and both had great semifinal performances. The Sanderson Cup will be won by a very worthy team this year.

This week, Schertz's Seahawks - Russell Wilson and Tyler Lockett - are at home against a soft Arizona defense. Saquon Barkley (@WAS) and Zach Ertz (vs. DAL) have good matchups of their own. And don't forget about Tyreek Hill (@CHI), Aaron Jones (@MIN), and Derrick Henry (vs. NO).

Matt's Lamar Jackson has a revenge game of sorts at Cleveland. Late-season acquisition Joe Mixon (@MIA) has a great matchup of his own, but the rest of Matt's team looks shakier. Semifinals heroes Todd Gurley II (@SF) and John Brown (@NE) have really tough opponents, and Dalvin Cook (vs. GB) might not play. Matt does have both of Cook's backups, Alexander Mattison (who is questionable) and Mike Boone (who blew up after Cook got injured last week), but if he's trailing this one heading into Monday night, he has good reason to be very nervious.

Pick: schertzopotamus.

Third-Place Game Preview

#4 Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 9-6) vs. #6 D's Nuts (Derrek, 8-7):

Mike R. leads all-time series, 8-6.

In 2016, these guys were two of our worst teams. D broke out the following year, and Mike did the same in 2018. It's nice to see these two sustaining their success.

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Closing Thoughts

Here is a list of the franchises - which now includes Derrek - that have made the semifinals three straight years:

5 years

4 years

3 years