The Sanderson Gazette - 2020-09-15 - Would Have Been Kicking Himself

Week 1 Recap

Kevin def. Ed, 133.92-106.88:

Josh Allen (29.80), Davante Adams (32.80), and Jamison Crowder (21.33) all had great games for Kevin. That was good, because he didn't play a kicker.

It appears that he forgot to set his lineup before Thursday's Texans game, so Ka'imi Fairbairn (1.00) sat on his bench. He then opted to hang onto Fairbairn instead of picking up a replacement. Luckily, he didn't need the points a replacement kicker would have provided.

Ed was led by Alvin Kamara (20.40) and David Johnson (17.97), but a lack of double-digit scoring from any other WR, RB, or TE in his lineup meant he didn't even come close to victory.

Richie def. Pat, 112.71-109.57:

Richie started 1-0 for the second straight year, while Pat dropped his third straight opener. Calvin Ridley's 29.23 was crucial for the victor, who won despite the Vikings defense bottoming out at -7.00. Pat got 20.93 from Julio Jones and 20.10 from Chris Carson, but wound up taking the toughest loss of the week.

Scott def. Rob, 110.25-103.19:

JuJu Smith Schuster's (21.20) two-touchdown Monday night game was enough to push Scott ahead of Rob in the battle between last year's bottom two finishers. For Rob, only Russell Wilson (33.50) and Ezekiel Elliott (25.73) outperformed expectations.

Matt def. Schertz, 115.88-103.72:

Matt got revenge for Blingabowl XII with a very similar final score. Lamar Jackson (29.25) and Dalvin Cook (20.73) picked up where they left off last year for Matt. Schertz's keepers - Saquon Barkley (8.60) and Derrick Henry (13.60) - did far worse, and can be pointed to as a reason for his 0-1 start.

Pulley def. Rabbit, 97.80-92.09:

This one was all about QBs, as Aaron Rodgers (34.40) had an excellent game for Pulley while Kyler Murray (27.60) merely had a very good one for Rabs. This game, the closest in its opponents' 14-game history, allowed Pulley to pull even with Rabbit in all-time record.

Babel def. Dave, 91.84-67.51:

These two are off to similar starts to last year, right down to Babel having some luck on his side. Josh Jacobs (33.43 for Babel) was the only bright spot in this matchup.

Derrek def. Mike R., 120.19-89.64:

As usual, Christian McCaffrey (26.67) had a great game for Derrek. Adam Thielen (28.67) added a big game to give D the second-highest score of the week. Mike got 24.27 from Raheem Mostert, but otherwise had little to brag about.

Standings

  1. Kevin, 1-0, 133.92
  2. Derrek, 1-0, 120.19
  3. Matt, 1-0, 115.88
  4. Richie, 1-0, 112.71
  5. Scott, 1-0, 110.25
  6. Pulley, 1-0, 97.80
  7. Babel, 1-0, 91.84
  8. Pat, 0-1, 109.57
  9. Ed, 0-1, 106.88
  10. Schertz, 0-1, 103.72
  11. Rob, 0-1, 103.19
  12. Rabbit, 0-1, 92.09
  13. Mike R., 0-1, 89.64
  14. Dave, 0-1, 67.51

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums:

Kevin's kicker-free roster scored 133.92, and he takes home Team Blangums for week 1.

Slapped Heartbeat:

Dave's 67.51 is his worst week 1 score ever.

Weekly MVP:

Aaron Rodgers scored 34.40 for Pulley in a close matchup.

Dud of the Week:

Pat needed only 4.35 from his TE on Monday night to beat Richie. Evan Engram scored 1.20.

Start of the Week:

Despite this being a pretty competitive week (more on that later), no one really made a decision that turned a loss into a win.

Misplay of the Week:

Rabbit could have played J.K. Dobbins, who scored 14.20, over DeSean Jackson, who scored 6.13. Rabbit lost by 5.71 points.

Blessed Cahoots:

Babel put up the third lowest score of the week, but walked away with a win.

Week 2 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 1-0, 6th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-0, 1st):

Pulley leads all-time series, 12-4.

Pulley is no stranger to 1-0 starts, though his week 1 wasn't especially impressive this year. He can be optimistic that Odell Beckham, Jr. (vs. CIN), Tyler Boyd (@CLE), and Rob Gronkowski (vs. CAR) have better scores this week. And with Aaron Rodgers (vs. DET) playing a team that let Mitch Trubisky have a big fantasy day, Pulley can also hope that his week 1 start keeps up the high totals.

Kevin could also benefit from the Lions defense, with Davante Adams (vs. DET) on his side of the ledger. Josh Allen (@MIA) faces a Miami team that let another running QB score multiple touchdowns in week 1, and Todd Gurley II (@DAL) faces a Dallas team that the Rams ran over.

Assuming Kevin plays a kicker this week, I'll pick him.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Other Blingamatches

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 1-0, 3rd) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 0-1, 8th):

Matt leads all-time series, 8-4.

Lamar Jackson (@HOU) going up against a weak defense alone is enough to make Matt the favorite here. But Pat has a path to victory: his three Falcons - Matt Ryan, Julio Jones, and Younghoe Koo (all @DAL) - mean that he's got a high-variance play. If Atlanta's offense blows up, Pat would be sitting pretty.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Live Commish (Ed, 0-1, 9th) vs. D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-0, 2nd):

Derrek leads all-time series, 8-7.

The last two matchups between these two ended in devastation for Ed. This time around, Ed has better RBs - Alvin Kamara (@LV), David Johnson (vs. BAL), and Ronald Jones II (vs. CAR) - than he's had in years, while D might be without James Conner (vs. DEN) due to injury.

Pick: Live Commish.

The Fantasy FB Team (Scott, 1-0, 5th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-1, 10th):

All-time series tied, 1-1.

This is the first time Scott has ever been in playoff position. Clyde Edwards-Helaire (@LAC) looks like the real deal, and he and Patrick Mahomes II (@LAC) make up an always-dangerous fantasy duo. Schertz will look for Saquon Barkley (@CHI) and Derrick Henry (vs. JAC) to bounce back, or he could be the first defending champ in five years to start 0-2.

Pick: The Fantasy FB Team.

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 0-1, 12th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 0-1, 11th):

Rob leads all-time series, 8-6.

Both Rabs and Rob will look to bounce back from varying degrees of disappointment in week 1. For Rabs, his whole team underperformed, and he lost a winnable game. He's got J.K. Dobbins (@HOU) in his lineup this week, which should help, and it's likely Chris Godwin (vs. CAR) just needs some more time with Tom Brady to hit his stride. Rob had a better score, but also fell short of victory; Russell Wilson (vs. NE) and Tyler Lockett (vs. NE) have a tough matchup based on week 1 results, but Ezekiel Elliott (vs. ATL) has a very promising one.

Pick: Rob for Today.

Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 0-1, 13th) vs. Keep Calm & Kerryon (Babel, 1-0, 7th):

Mike R. leads all-time series, 9-6.

Now the matchup you've all been waiting for, the one between our 12th and 13th highest scorers in week 1. Mike's already-injury-ravaged team took a hit when George Kittle (@NYJ) and DeVante Parker (vs. BUF) got banged up in week 1. Mike Evans (vs. CAR) looked fine, if not totally in sync with his new QB. In the category of this-only-seems-to-happen-to-him, Babel has a choice between three QBs: Carson Wentz (vs. LAR), Cam Newton (@SEA), and Kirk Cousins (@IND).

Pick: Bernie's Bullies.

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 0-1, 14th) vs. DK Country (Richie, 1-0, 4th):

All-time series tied, 4-4.

Dave's team was just brutal in week 1, putting up just the ninth sub-70 start to a season ever. Some good news for Dave: with Phillip Lindsay hurt, there's no one to compete with Melvin Gordon III (@PIT) for carries. Some bad news: Gordon faces a Steelers team that just held Saquon Barkley in check. Richie's got the ageless Tom Brady (vs. CAR) going against a far more friendly foe than he did last week, when Richie managed to win.

Pick: DK Country.

Closing Thoughts

Week 1's 15.71 point average margin cracks the top twenty all-time.