The Sanderson Gazette - 2020-10-15 - Clear Out Your Inboxes

The first thing you should notice about week 5 is that the four highest scores were concentrated into two games. This has only happened three times before: week 7, 2009; week 10, 2012; and week 9, 2014.

Week 5 Recap

Schertz def. Ed, 137.24-135.15:

"That never would have happened if I was playing against anyone else." - Schertz

So, uh, that was wild. The outcome of this game hinged on the Tuesday night game. Ed's confidence grew after A.J. Brown (16.93) scored an early touchdown - and kept getting targets - and held up until just before the two minute warning, when Jonnu Smith (17.33) scored a touchdown to put Schertz ahead for good. Derrick Henry (18.50) and Stefon Diggs (14.13) were Schertz's other two Tuesday night players, but it was the Baltimore defense's 26.00 that was most important in getting him this win. Ed got 22.90 and 18.40 from a pair of Panthers (Mike Davis and D.J. Moore, respectively), but only 14.37 from Alvin Kamara (his worst score of the year) as he became the most unlikely 0-5 team ever (more on that later).

Kevin def. Richie, 133.02-128.85:

Kevin also needed a Tuesday night comeback to win the other battle of top four scorers. Josh Allen (18.45) scored just enough, though it was Todd Gurley II (21.97) and Jamison Crowder (21.47) who really powered Kev to victory. Richie, magnanimous in defeat, was led by D.K. Metcalf (24.40) and Ben Roethlisberger (23.25) and saw Calvin Ridley (18.13) return to form.

Mike R. def. Rob, 110.10-91.22:

Mike wound up with a very good score despite no real standout players; everyone except Drew Brees (23.35) scored between 7.00 (Arizona defense) and 15.00 (Wil Lutz) for the Bullies. Rob got 24.65 from Russell Wilson and 22.97 from Ezekiel Elliott, but Tyler Lockett (5.87) and James Robinson (5.23) fell well short of expectations.

Scott def. Pat, 108.16-73.16:

Patrick Mahomes II (31.60) led all scorers in this one and combined with Miles Sanders (22.53) to propel Scott to an easy win. Pat got 17.07 from Chase Edmonds and 16.73 from Marquise Brown, but the rest of his roster was more like Matt Ryan (8.20) and he put up his lowest score since his disastrous 2018 season.

Matt def. Rabbit, 99.87-76.77:

Matt was glad to get 23.47 from DeAndre Hopkins, since Lamar Jackson (14.80) and especially Jerick McKinnon (0.67) underperformed. Luckily, his opponent was even worse in that department. Rabs did get 29.60 from Kyler Murray, but Amari Cooper (2.87), Logan Thomas (0.53) and the Kansas City defense (-4.00) kept him from breaking the 80 point mark.

Pulley def. Dave, 98.95-45.90:

Only two players - Dak Prescott (13.97) and Daniel Carlson (10.00) - broke double digits for Dave; he had more score less than one point (Zach Ertz (0.80), A.J. Green (zero), and David Moore (zero)). Pulley didn't have a great game himself, but he earned a comfortable victory. Teddy Bridgewater (23.95) and Emmanuel Sanders (16.27) were his high scorers.

Babel def. Derrek, 94.18-72.78:

Josh Jacobs (20.77) and Travis Kelce (20.40) made up for the San Francisco defense's -5.00 for Babel, who moved to 3-2 on the season. Derrek had his own negative players, Jimmy Garoppolo (-1.65) and Diontae Johnson (-0.27), and never stood a chance.

Standings

  1. Pulley, 5-0, 569.44
  2. Richie, 4-1, 546.35
  3. Rob, 3-2, 610.73
  4. Kevin, 3-2, 591.95
  5. Matt, 3-2, 530.73
  6. Scott, 3-2, 529.36
  7. Babel, 3-2, 502.08
  8. Pat, 3-2, 485.70
  9. Schertz, 2-3, 540.07
  10. Mike R., 2-3, 528.01
  11. Derrek, 2-3, 485.97
  12. Rabbit, 1-4, 513.80
  13. Dave, 1-4, 393.44
  14. Ed, 0-5, 583.16

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Kevin, 637
  2. Ed, 625
  3. Pulley, 604
  4. Rob, 589
  5. Richie, 557
  6. Scott, 531
  7. Schertz, 524
  8. Mike R., 521
  9. Matt, 500
  10. Babel, 445
  11. Rabbit, 424
  12. Derrek, 411
  13. Pat, 399
  14. Dave, 232

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums:

Schertz's 137.24 was just enough to edge Ed's 135.15 and Kevin's 133.02.

Slapped Heartbeat:

Dave's 45.90 is the new low mark for the season.

Weekly MVP:

The Baltimore defense put up 26.00 in a near-shutout for Schertz.

Dud of the Week:

A.J. Green and David Moore both put up zeroes for Dave and will share this award.

Start of the Week:

Schertz and Kevin actually left points on their benches, and no other games were close.

Misplay of the Week:

Ed played A.J. Brown (16.93) over Brandin Cooks (27.47) and lost a close one, but it's tough to fault him since Brown wound up outperforming projections and Cooks was coming off a zero point week.

Richie played Josh Kelley (4.10) over Preston Williams (20.13), but that also looks a lot smarter in hindsight and would have required him being quite bold with his choices.

Instead, how about Dave? He put up a historically bad score with Chase Claypool's 39.27 just sitting on his bench. I suppose you could argue Claypool was too boom-or-bust to start, but Dave left Anthony Miller's mediocre-or-bust 3.73 in his lineup (to say nothing of the two zeroes in the Dud of the Week section).

This award goes to Dave.

Pickup of the Week:

Pulley picked up Christian Kirk and was rewarded with 10.40 points.

Blessed Cahoots:

Schertz's comeback was made possible by the following events in the last four minutes of the final game of the week:

  1. the Bills fumbling a kickoff deep in their own territory;
  2. the Titans playing for a touchdown with a three touchdown lead;
  3. the officials allowing the fateful Jonnu Smith touchdown to stand despite Ryan Tannehill maybe being past the line of scrimmage.

Pryor Play of the Week:

Second round pick D.J. Moore finally scored a touchdown in an 18.40 point game for Ed.

COVID-Related Rule Updates

First of all, apologies for sending out so many emails recently regarding COVID-related league issues. I'm trying to not spam you all (as we found out in the Blingachat this week, some of you are very picky about what goes into your inboxes), but I also want to make sure we're handling the uncertainty in a way that is fair for and transparent to everyone.

So if you missed my email prior to week 5 games, I amended two rules regarding game cancellations:

  1. The IR spot on your roster can be used for a player who misses a week due to COVID, not just for players who are on the NFL's COVID list.
  2. You have the option every week to send me a list of ranked bench players to be subbed in if a scheduled game does not get played.

Rule #1 is a little tricky in practice, since Yahoo won't let you move a player into the IR slot unless they are on IR or the NFL's official COVID list. So if you run into that situation, reach out to me and we'll figure something out.

Week 6 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

DK Country (Richie, 4-1, 2nd) vs. Rub for Today (Rob, 3-2, 3rd):

Richie leads all-time series, 5-4.

Richie is coming off his first loss, but also highest score, of the season. He'll be without D.K. Metcalf and Joshua Kelley due to byes this week; the former is a big loss, but the latter not so much. Lucky for Rich, he's very deep at WR, where he has Preston Williams (vs. NYJ) and Deebo Samuel (vs. LAR) ready to fill in. With Tyreek Hill (vs. BUF) and Calvin Ridley (@MIN) still around, Richie should be able to count on his WRs delivering... but his fate will also rely on Devonta Freeman (vs. WAS) repeating his week 5 success.

On the other side of this matchup, Rob is coming off a loss and his lowest score of the season... and is hit much harder by bye weeks. Russell Wilson and Tyler Lockett are out this week, as are potential replacements Henry Ruggs III and Hunter Renfrow. Rob will trot out Kirk Cousins (vs. ATL) in a great matchup, and will look for Ezekiel Elliott (vs. ARI) to get fed the ball a bit more without Dak Prescott around.

This is a fun rivalry, and while I don't see a repeat of their epic 2015 shootout, I think it will be close.

Pick: DK Country.

Other Blingamatches

Harrison Hammers (Matt, 3-2, 5th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 5-0, 1st):

Pulley leads all-time series 7-6.

Week 5 played out very similarly for Matt and Pulley; they scored within one point of each other and had an opponent put up a stinker. It's fitting they face off in week 6.

Matt'll be without his best player, Dalvin Cook, but he has Alexander Mattison (vs. ATL) ready to go as a handcuff. A bigger concern for Matt is Lamar Jackson (@PHI); the reigning MVP has only broken 20 points twice this season. DeAndre Hopkins (@DAL) and Robert Woods (@SF) give Matt a reliable pair of WRs, and if Michael Gallup (vs. ARI) can be productive with Andy Dalton at QB, Matt could pull the upset here.

Pulley is off to yet another great start, as he's just the fifth 5-0 team ever. Aaron Rodgers (@TAM) and Aaron Jones (@TAM) are back, though they have a relatively difficult matchup. Having his Packers available again will be important for Pulley, as WRs Odell Beckham, Jr. (@PIT) and Tyler Boyd (@IND) have been unpredictable (and have tough matchups of their own) and Kenyan Drake (@DAL) has been steady, but a bit underwhelming.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Keep Calm & Kerryon (Babel, 3-2, 7th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 3-2, 4th):

Kevin leads all-time series, 7-5.

This matchup is a good example of how different 3-2 teams can be.

Babel's only broken 100 twice, but has also never dipped below 90. So while he's fortunate to have three wins, he's also avoided falling among the weekly bottom feeders. Josh Jacobs just had his best performance since week 1, but is on bye. Allen Robinson II (@CAR) has been good, but not quite up to his draft cost. You could probably say the same about Travis Kelce (@BUF), though he's still been the #1 TE by total points.

Kevin, on the other hand, has scored 120 or more in four of five weeks, but only has three wins to show for it. Josh Allen (vs. KC) has been great, Todd Gurley II (@MIN) has been a rock, and Jamison Crowder (@MIA) and CeeDee Lamb (vs. ARI) have been outperforming expectations. If Davante Adams (@TAM) is healthy again, Kevin should be able to build on this week's momentum and coast into the playoffs.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

Live Commish (Ed, 0-5, 14th) vs. The Fantasy FB Team (Scott, 3-2, 6th):

Ed leads all-time series, 2-0.

Every 0-5 team has a least a little bad luck, but Ed has lapped the field this year. He's put up two of the ten 130 point games through five weeks, but has zero wins to show for it. To underscore that even more: in Blingaleague history, there have been only nine losses by teams that scored 130 or more, and two belong to 2020 Ed. If you look at his weekly scores, there's a less than 1-in-200 chance he'd come away winless. Clearly, the commissioner did something to upset the fantasy football gods, and that means it's safe to assume he'll lose again this week. And just to make sure, Ed will be without Alvin Kamara (bye).

Scott has scored 108 or more in four of five weeks, though he had his heartbeat slapped in the fifth. Patrick Mahomes II (@BUF) has hit the 30 point mark thrice, and Miles Sanders (vs. BAL) has been a good keeper. If Scott could get some consistent production from at least three of JuJu Smith-Schuster (vs. CLE), Darius Slayton (vs. WAS), Julian Edelman (vs. DEN), and John Brown (vs. KC) at the WR position, he would be a favorite to make the playoffs. As it stands, he's right on the edge without much room for error.

Pick: The Fantasy FB Team.

Bernie's Urgent Care (Mike R., 2-3, 10th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 2-3, 9th):

All-time series tied, 4-4.

Mike R.'s been trending upward over the course of the season, though that could change with Chris Carson and Drew Brees on bye. Raheem Mostert (vs. LAR) is back and was used like a true #1 last week, and George Kittle (vs. LAR) is always dangerous. Mike Evans (vs. GB) and Julio Jones (@MIN) have enticing matchups... if they're healthy, which is a big question when it comes to Bernie's squad.

Schertz just won Blangums with a dramatic Jonnu Smith (vs. HOU) touchdown, but his real strength are his RBs, Derrick Henry (vs. HOU) and Kareem Hunt (@PIT). Deshaun Watson's (@TEN) first game without Bill O'Brien was great, and if the QB can keep that up, Schertz could turn his season around and have a chance to defend his crown.

Pick: Bernie's Urgent Care.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 2-3, 11th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 3-2, 8th):

Derrek leads all-time series, 7-4.

D's season really went off the rails when Christian McCaffrey got hurt. He broke 120 in weeks 1 and 2 with McCaffrey, but hasn't cracked 100 since, and didn't even break 80 the last two weeks. James Conner (vs. CLE) and Jonathan Taylor (vs. CIN) have given D strong RB performance, though; it's WRs not named Adam Thielen (vs. ATL) and his TEs that have held him back. If he can't get that corrected, he'll be out of contention before McCaffrey is once again available.

Pat also looks much worse than he did after two weeks. He can point to D.J. Chark, Jr.'s (vs. DET) injuries and Kenny Golladay's (@JAC) bye as a reason, but he's also failed to maximize his slew of playable, but not elite, RBs. He'll need to start making the right choices among David Montgomery (@CAR); Chase Edmonds (@DAL); and Darrell Henderson, Jr. (@SF) if he wants to move back into playoff position.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 1-4, 13th) vs. Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-4, 12th):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 10-3.

Dave's off to a historically bad start. You could say he has nowhere to go but up, but his lone bright spot, Dak Prescott, is now out for the year.

Rabbit's team is not good, but at least he's gotten a Team Blangums already. Kyler Murray (@DAL) and Will Fuller V (@TEN) have been his two best players, and he could see an uptick with Chris Godwin (vs. GB) coming back his week. It will be a long, uphill battle if he wants to make the playoffs, but facing off against Dave is a great way to start.

Pick: Pralines & Dick.

Closing Thoughts

This issue of the Gazette opened by highlighting the rarity of two of the four highest scoring teams losing. It's also true that the second highest score this week (Ed) lost. That has happened a little more frequently: