The Sanderson Gazette - 2020-11-04 - Too Many Cooks

Week 8 Recap

Matt def. Richie, 138.99-100.53:

"Ya got Cook'd!" - Harrison Hammers Intern #1597, in a note left on Richie's front porch

Matt's kitchen had too many Cooks (groan) for Richie. Dalvin (48.70) and Jared (12.80) combined with Robert Woods (24.23) and Brandon Aiyuk (18.13) to allow Matt to cruise to victory. Richie got 33.47 from D.K. Metcalf and 25.07 from Tyreek Hill and took the loss despite having the fifth highest score of the week.

Ed def. Pulley, 88.22-88.09:

The Game of the Blingaweek delivered on drama, if not on points. Thanks to Aaron Rodgers (24.95) and Marvin Jones, Jr. (17.20), Pulley led by just under seven points heading into Monday night. Rob Gronkowski (11.47) did his part for the Pullman, but a late Ryan Succop (15.00) field goal, combined with just enough from Ronald Jones II (3.37), pushed Ed to the fourth smallest margin of victory of all time.

Kevin def. Derrek, 87.63-53.06:

If Derrek had just gotten a solid eight-point game from his defense, he'd have been just the third team ever to finish in the 30's. However, the Eagles defense put up 22.00, saving him from infamy. Notable disappointments for D were Jimmy Garoppolo (1.10) and Diontae Johnson (0.80). Kevin got 25.07 from Davante Adams and 19.30 from Mike Williams, offsetting Darren Waller's 3.73 and the Titans defense's -4.00.

Rob def. Dave, 106.72-54.69:

Russell Wilson put up a cool 30.35 and Giovani Bernard added 20.33 as Rob won a blowout. Dave's high scorer was David Carr, with just 12.70.

Babel def. Schertz, 105.57-88.80:

Babel was led by Travis Kelce's 20.53 in an overall balanced effort (only D'Andre Swift (3.30) scored less than five points). Schertz scored all of his points in the noon game slot, with Philip Rivers (23.90) leading the way and Marquez Valdes-Scantling (2.93) bringing up the rear.

Scott def. Mike R., 103.36-96.20:

Patrick Mahomes II (40.80) and the Colts defense (14.00) were crucial for Scott to maintain his playoff position, as most of his team fell below expectations. Mike did get 18.27 from Julio Jones and 16.40 from Travis Fulgham, but his defense (Green Bay) put up -3.00 and doomed him.

Rabbit def. Pat, 74.71-64.16:

The combined score of 138.87 in this game represents the lowest total of the year (just barely edging out this week's Kevin-Derrek matchup). Pat had its highest scorer, Justin Herbert (23.00), but also its lowest, Kenny Golladay (zero). Rabs got 15.97 from Justin Jackson and 12.37 from J.K. Dobbins, which was enough to win ugly.

Standings

  1. Pulley, 7-1, 873.75
  2. Rob, 6-2, 966.42
  3. Kevin, 5-3, 872.89
  4. Scott, 5-3, 838.42
  5. Babel, 5-3, 770.74
  6. Rabbit, 4-4, 830.28
  7. Matt, 4-4, 823.88
  8. Richie, 4-4, 798.27
  9. Derrek, 4-4, 736.04
  10. Schertz, 3-5, 838.20
  11. Mike R., 3-5, 823.33
  12. Pat, 3-5, 736.39
  13. Ed, 2-6, 895.18
  14. Dave, 1-7, 590.32

Blingalytics Ratings

  1. Ed, 638
  2. Rob, 627
  3. Pulley, 605
  4. Kevin, 588
  5. Scott, 568
  6. Schertz, 540
  7. Mike R., 532
  8. Rabbit, 501
  9. Matt, 497
  10. Richie, 496
  11. Babel, 437
  12. Derrek, 403
  13. Pat, 380
  14. Dave, 190

Weekly Awards

Team Blangums:

Matt's 138.99 gives him his first Blangums of 2020 and his 21st of all time (tying him with Rabbit for most ever).

Slapped Heartbeat:

Derrek's 53.09 is the second lowest score so far this season.

Weekly MVP:

Dalvin Cook's 48.70 was amazing for Matt.

Dud of the Week:

Diontae Johnson needed to do more than score just 0.80 for Derrek to avoid getting his heartbeat slapped.

Start of the Week:

Scott played the Colts defense (14.00) over the Rams defense (4.00) and won by less than eight points.

Misplay of the Week:

Pulley opted to pickup and play La'Mical Perine (3.50) and Rex Burkhead (3.27) over Cam Akers (6.03) and lost by 0.13.

Pickup of the Week:

Ed picked up Ryan Succop and needed every one of his 15.00 points to defeat Pulley. (Honorable mention to Pulley, who picked up Marvin Jones, Jr. and got 17.20.)

Blessed Cahoots:

Aaron Rodgers got sacked and lost a fumble while attempting a Hail Mary on the last play of regulation; that -2.50 wound up being very costly for Pulley, which means Ed can say "Blessed Cahoots!"

Pryor Play of the Week:

Jerick McKinnon hasn't been bad all year, but prior to his 11.23, he had given Matt -0.10, 3.13, and 0.67 the previous three weeks.

Week 9 Preview

Game of the Blingaweek

The Fantasy FB Team (Scott, 5-3, 4th) vs. Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 7-1, 1st):

All-time series tied, 1-1.

Prior to this season, Scott had never been above 8th place in the standings in any given week. This year, he's never been worse than 8th, in part because he's one of only three teams (the others being Rob and Ed) who have scored above the season median of 101.95 six times. He'll be without a few key players - Tee Higgins and Miles Sanders or Boston Scott - due to byes this week, but Patrick Mahomes II (vs. CAR) showed this week he can nearly win games by himself. Throw in good matchups for Clyde Edwards-Helaire (vs. CAR) and JuJu Smith-Schuster (@DAL), and Scott could find himself one win closer to clinching a playoff berth in his third season.

Pulley's team was crushed by injuries in week 8, and it's still not certain that Aaron Jones (@SF) and Allen Lazard (@SF) will be healthy enough to play Thursday. Antonio Brown (vs. NO) is back, though, which means losing top WR Tyler Boyd to his bye isn't quite so bad. Pulley will still be without Kenyan Drake (injured), though, which means he's probably an underdog for the second straight week.

Pick: The Fantasy FB Team.

Other Blingamatches

Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 4-4, 6th) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 5-3, 3rd):

Rabbit leads all-time series, 7-6.

Don't look now, but Rabbit's won three straight and moved into playoff position. Of course, we've seen this before; will 2020 break the mold? Chris Godwin (vs. NO) could be back this week, which would make up for Amari Cooper's (vs. PIT) recent struggles. And don't forget Kyler Murray (vs. MIA) - though the Dolphins defense no longer looks like a sweet matchup.

Kevin's place in the standings has been well-earned. His somewhat lucky win in week 8 is balanced by a loss when he scored 125. He could have concerns about Josh Allen (vs. SEA), who looked amazing in the first four weeks, but mediocre the next four, but he has a great QB matchup this week. Davante Adams (@SF) has some of the highest highs of any WR, while Todd Gurley II (vs. DEN) has been a steady value at RB.

Pick: The Chocolate Donuts.

D's Nuts (Derrek, 4-4, 9th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 4-4, 7th):

Derrek leads all-time series, 8-7.

After getting his heartbeat slapped - and finishing as runner-up two other times - D needs Christian McCaffrey (@KC) back more than ever. He'll get his wish, but that alone probably isn't enough to turn his team around just yet. Diontae Johnson (@DAL) needs to bounce back from a disastrous week 8, and Jonathan Taylor (vs. BAL) needs to return to his prior form. Oh, and Kirk Cousins (vs. DET) will need to step up his fantasy game.

Matt was the league's lone bright spot in week 8, but that doesn't change the fact that he had been coming off four straight sub-100 weeks. Dalvin Cook (vs. DET) covers up for a lot of flaws, though, and DeAndre Hopkins (vs. MIA) is a solid WR1. If Lamar Jackson (@IND) can start getting close to his 2019 production, Matt can legitimately dream of a third straight Blingabowl appearance. That might be too big an "if", though.

Pick: Harrison Hammers.

Rub for Today (Rob, 6-2, 2nd) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 3-5, 10th):

Schertz leads all-time series, 7-3.

Rob has three Team Blangums awards and even manage to put up an above-median score in our awful week 8. He's one of a few teams that can confidently plan for the playoffs, so even though Ezekiel Elliott's (vs. PIT) been struggling and has a tough matchup this week, he shouldn't be too concerned. After all, Russell Wilson (@BUF) and James Robinson (vs. HOU) are his true stars.

For Schertz, this week is probably his last gasp at defending the Sanderson Cup. Derrick Henry (vs. CHI) faces a tough defense, but Alvin Kamara did put up points against the Bears in week 8. That said, Schertz's key to an upset is probably getting Deshaun Watson (@JAC) back from bye, and against the Jaguars defense, no less.

Pick: Rub for Today.

Keep Calm & Kerryon (Babel, 5-3, 5th) vs. DK Country (Richie, 4-4, 8th):

Babel leads all-time series, 6-2.

Babel's relatively impressive week 8 performance put him two games above .500 and, even better, gave him some hope that his team can finish strong. Travis Kelce (vs. CAR) is probably two tiers above the next best tight end, and Keenan Allen (vs. LV) and Allen Robinson II (@TEN) have been steady performers. Cam Newton (@NYJ) has a great matchup this week to turn his own season around, too.

Richie is the first team in Blingaleague history to start the season 4-0 and then lose his next four. This is a case of luck evening out, as Richie's true talent is right around .500 (a .496 expected winning percentage). Tyreek Hill (vs. CAR) and D.K. Metcalf (@BUF) are threats to score 25 points any week, which means that with Tom Brady's (vs. NO) resurgence, Richie shouldn't count himself out. The key to getting back on track lies in Calvin Ridley's (vs. DEN) health; if he can play, it's huge for Mr. Armour.

Pick: Keep Calm & Kerryon.

Live Commish (Ed, 2-6, 13th) vs. Bernie's Urgent Care (Mike R., 3-5, 11th):

Ed leads all-time series 7-6.

Ed's high scores and odd luck has been well-documented, so it was surprising to see him put up a poor score and still win in week 8. He'll look to start a winning streak behind Alvin Kamara (@TAM) and strong matchups for Matthew Stafford (@MIN), and Brandin Cooks (@JAC).

Mike's been better than his record, too, and especially consistent. His current standard deviation of scores, 8.57, would be the lowest ever if he keeps it up (it's also the lowest ever measured through eight weeks). Julio Jones (vs. DEN) has battled injuries, but lately has been on fire. If Chris Carson (@BUF) comes back this week, that could put Mike's team over the top; if not, he might have to throw in the towel on the season.

Pick: Live Commish.

Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 1-7, 14th) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 3-5, 12th):

Dave leads all-time series, 7-4.

Dave's the first team to have a sub-.200 expected winning percentage through eight weeks ever. He's scored less than 80 points 75% of the time. Is this the week Michael Thomas (@TAM) comes back and brings him a little of the way back to respectability?

Pat, like, Richie, is on a four game losing streak, and on the verge of falling completely out of playoff contention. D.J. Chark, Jr. (vs. HOU) and Marquise Brown (@IND) have been disappointments, but Justin Herbert (vs. LV) and Corey Davis (vs. CHI) have come on strong. What I'm saying is, Pat would have some reasons for optimism even if he weren't playing Dave this week.

Pick: The Vistas are Back.

Closing Thoughts

Our weekly average score of 89.34 cracks the bottom fifteen of all time, and it's the first time our average fell below 90 since week 11, 2015, when we set the record low!