The Sanderson Gazette - 2021-09-15 - Launched
Week 1's 106.23 point average cracks the top 25 all-time and comes in as the third highest scoring week 1 ever. Only 2013 (111.21) and 2019 (108.85) outpaced it.
Week 1 Recap
Pat def. Mike R., 111.39-108.98
Before we get to our heavy hitters, let's talk about our closest game, which came down to a pair of RBs on Sunday night. David Montgomery put up a great 18.13 for Mike, but Pat held on thanks to 15.27 from Darrell Henderson, Jr. Outside of that battle, it was Tyreek Hill (32.67) who led all scorers in this one, which was key to Pat's victory. Mike took a disappointing - and shocking - zero from Brandon Aiyuk.
Babel def. Pulley, 155.45-82.92
Babel got five twenty-point scorers - Deebo Samuel (29.20), Matthew Stafford (27.05), Adam Thielen (24.27), and Darren Waller (20.00) - and put up his best week 1 score ever, by far. Pulley didn't set any personal records, but he did have an uncharacteristically awful week, with Aaron Rodgers (2.15) and the Tampa Bay defense (-1.00) among his disappointments.
Rabbit def. Schertz, 148.29-86.22
Kyler Murray (35.45) led Rabbit's own quartet of twenty-point players; Tyler Lockett (25.33), Christian McCaffrey (21.67), and Cooper Kupp (20.40) rounded out that foursome. Schertz did get 30.95 from his QB, Tom Brady, but otherwise had a forgettable week.
Dave def. Ed, 127.82-109.60
Dave put up his highest score in more than a year behind Amari Cooper (30.53), CeeDee Lamb (19.87), and Kirk Cousins (24.05). Ed, led by Jalen Hurts (30.90) was the week's highest scoring loser for the fourth time since the start of last year.
Kevin def. Matt, 102.07-81.96
The Game of the Blingaweek was one of two where the winner was below the league median. Corey Davis's 24.93 for Kevin was the top total here, while Matt just barely avoided having his heartbeat slapped thanks to Lamar Jackson (18.85) and Mark Andrews (2.67) doing just enough on Monday night.
Richie def. Scott, 87.24-80.17
Here was our duddiest dud of the week, with the Slapped Heartbeat recipient and the lowest scoring winner. Richie took -3.00 from his defense (Chicago), but that still bested Scott at that position, who got -6.00 from Jacksonville.
Derrek def. Rob, 109.27-95.82
This matchup was effectively decided on Thursday night, when Derrek got 24.00 from Rob Gronkowski and Rob got disappointing games from Ezekiel Elliot (4.10) and Ronald Jones II (-0.60).
Standings
- Babel, 1-0, 155.45
- Rabbit, 1-0, 148.29
- Dave, 1-0, 127.82
- Pat, 1-0, 111.39
- Derrek, 1-0, 109.27
- Kevin, 1-0, 102.07
- Richie, 1-0, 87.24
- Ed, 0-1, 109.60
- Mike R., 0-1, 108.98
- Rob, 0-1, 95.82
- Schertz, 0-1, 86.22
- Pulley, 0-1, 82.92
- Matt, 0-1, 81.96
- Scott, 0-1, 80.17
Blingalytics Ratings
- Babel, 917
- Rabbit, 909
- Dave, 827
- Pat, 650
- Ed, 624
- Derrek, 617
- Mike R., 613
- Kevin, 490
- Rob, 382
- Richie, 247
- Schertz, 234
- Pulley, 183
- Matt, 167
- Scott, 139
Weekly Awards
Team Blangums
Babel's 155.45 is the second best week 1 score of all time. (Rabbit's 148.29 is the fourth best.)
Slapped Heartbeat
Scott's 80.17, despite being quite bad - was the second highest week 1 Slapped Heartbeat score ever.
Weekly MVP
Kyler Murray's 35.45 didn't get Rabs a prize, but it was awesome.
Dud of the Week
Aaron Rodgers (2.15) was not supposed to follow up his MVP season - and start off his "Last Dance" year - with arguably the worst game of his career.
Start of the Week
Pat left points on his bench overall, but he did start the correct Mi/yles: Sanders (14.60) outscored Gaskin (8.50) by more than the margin of Pat's game.
Misplay of the Week
It's hard to fault Mike for playing Brandon Aiyuk (zero), whose tumble down the 49ers' depth chart became known just before kickoff. But he still did play him and lost a very close game.
Blessed Cahoots
Richie's was fortunate that his opponent put up the weekly low, though Richie himself still was only the fifth lowest score of the week.
Week 2 Preview
Game of the Blingaweek
Super Bash Bros. (Dave, 1-0, 3rd) vs. The Vistas are Back (Pat, 1-0, 4th)
Dave leads all-time series, 7-5.
Dave's team had a great week 1, and, if anything, could get better moving forward. For one, Michael Gallup is on IR, so Amari Cooper (@LAC) and CeeDee Lamb (@LAC) stand to get even more targets. For another, it's only a matter of weeks until Justin Fields (vs. CIN) is both the Bears' and Dave's starter, which means less of Kirk Cousins (@ARI). And finally, Alvin Kamara (@CAR) actually underperformed a little last week, since the Saints didn't really need to try after halftime.
Pat's a threat to win every week with Tyreek Hill (@BAL), and this week looks especially good with Justin Herbert (vs. DAL) facing a Cowboys defense that couldn't stop the Buccaneers. Chris Carson (vs. TEN), Darrell Henderson, Jr. (@IND), and Miles Sanders (vs. SF) have varying levels of difficulty in their matchups, but provide Pat with a solid RB and flex corps.
Pick: Super Bash Bros.
Other Blingamatches
Pralines & Dick (Rabbit, 1-0, 2nd) vs. The Chocolate Donuts (Kevin, 1-0, 6th)
The last seven matchups between these two include: Blingabowl IX, a 0.29 point margin, and five Team Blangums awards. Something fun is going to happen this week!
Rabs has Kyler Murray (vs. MIN) and Tyler Lockett (vs. TEN) going against teams that couldn't stop anyone last week, which should mitigate any concerns he has about Christian McCaffrey (vs. NO) playing the Saints. Kevin is looking for keepers Josh Allen (@MIA) and Davante Adams (vs. DET) to return to 2020 levels.
Pick: Pralines & Dick.
Swift Justice (Babel, 1-0, 1st) vs. Where's My State Farm Discount (Scott, 0-1, 14th)
Scott leads all-time series, 2-1.
Just about everything went right for Babel last week, which will be hard to repeat, but Matthew Stafford (@IND) and Keenan Allen (vs. DAL) in particular have some matchups that could allow them to do so. Scott has to love the opponents he's seeing for Russell Wilson (vs. TEN) and Nick Chubb (vs. HOU), though.
Babel definitely gets the edge in the team name department. "Swift Justice" is inspired, and I'm not sure what State Farm has to do with the players on Scott's roster...
Pick: Swift Justice.
D's Nuts (Derrek, 1-0, 5th) vs. Bernie's Bullies (Mike R., 0-1, 9th)
Before week 1, these guys probably weren't thinking they'd have juicy QB matchups this week. But D has to like Patrick Mahomes II (@BAL) against a team that let Derek Carr put up 400+ yards, and Mike must be licking his chops to see Joe Burrow (@CHI) take on the Bears' horrific secondary. The big question for Derrek is if Saquon Barkley (@WAS) will get a full workload - and be effective against a tough defense - on Thursday night. For Mike, it's if Urban Meyer remembers James Robinson (vs. DEN) exists.
Pick: D's Nuts.
Live Commish (Ed, 0-1, 8th) vs. Rob for Today (Rob, 0-1, 10th)
Ed leads all-time series, 8-7.
Ed outscored Rob last week, but lost (of course). He'll hope a pair of Eagles - Jalen Hurts (vs. SF) and DeVonta Smith (vs. SF) - repeat their week 1 performances. Rob will hope that's not true of Ezekiel Elliott (@LAC) and Terry McLaurin (vs. NYG).
Pick: Live Commish.
DK Country (Richie, 1-0, 7th) vs. schertzopotamus (Schertz, 0-1, 11th)
Schertz leads all-time series, 5-4.
Richie has two players he has to love this week, Austin Ekeler (vs. DAL) and DK Metcalf (vs. TEN). The rest of his roster? Less so. Schertz will need Stefon Diggs (@MIA) to return to form and for his two Titans, Derrick Henry (@SEA) and Julio Jones (@SEA), to not be duds again.
Pick: schertzopotamus.
Pullman's MondoSquad (Pulley, 0-1, 12th) vs. Harrison Hammers (Matt, 0-1, 13th)
Pulley leads all-time series, 8-6.
It's rare to see these two Blingalegends relegated to the last preview.
Pick: Harrison Hammers.
Closing Thoughts
While it's not the full rebranding Pulley wanted, I did make some small changes to blingaleague.com. I updated the fonts being used and I made some tweaks to the way expected wins gets scaled based on the yearly scoring environment.